


Purity

by saucyminx



Series: Purity Verse [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Slavery, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-12
Updated: 2010-05-12
Packaged: 2017-10-28 07:18:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 70,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/305248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucyminx/pseuds/saucyminx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Purity is a well-respected company that provides Life Companions for those wealthy enough to purchase them. They come from Clean Homes that are free of disease and are trained to be assistants, friends or lovers - whatever their possessor desires. Jared doesn't want a Life Companion but it's family tradition. When his Life Companion arrives, chosen to fit his specific needs and wants, he's a bit shocked that rather than a woman, he has a Jensen. Fortunately, there's a thirty day trial period to see if they are a fit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  
[click here to see the pamphlet full size](http://pics.livejournal.com/cha/pic/002q4dx9)

 _At the beginning of the 21st century our world succumbed to disease and outbreak. Billions of lives were lost and even now, forty six years later, we still see the aftermath of destruction. But there were those who never lost hope and we as a strong and able body overcame that dark and dissolute time. Thankfully, here at Purity we are committed to the Cleanliness and Safety Act of 2010. With our guidance you will find not only a Companion untarnished by society but a true confidant, ready to keep your personal information secret and safe._

 _**What is Purity about?** _

_Our establishment specializes in the breeding and rearing of the perfect Life Companion. These Companions are untarnished by the outside world, spending their lives in Clean Homes until matched with the right Possessor. Each Life Companion is trained to be exactly what you need, the safest and most secure place to store life's important details. In this day and age it can never hurt to be careful with your information, having someone specifically designed to meet your needs can make your life much easier and pleasing._

 _**How does the process work?** _

_It's simple! Once initial down payment has been made to Purity, your own personal account will be accessible via the internet. Simply log on, enter your ID Log number and begin your questionnaire. Be open and honest with your answers. Remember the more details you provide us, the better Life Companion we can find for you. Upon completion, your personal information will go through a secure and confidential screening process as we search for the best match to meet your needs. This is a tried and true process, developed with the Possessor's best intentions in mind. Within a few short weeks your Life Companion will be delivered to your home, ready to start a happy and satisfying life._

 _**What if my Life Companion isn't fulfilling their duties?** _

_No need to worry, each Possessor is given a thirty day trial period with their new Life Companion. Though we have complete confidence in our matching process, Purity is prepared to do whatever necessary to ensure your happiness. If after thirty days you are not satisfied, refer to the information pamphlet that arrives with your Life Companion. The steps for return and exchange are simple and you can always call our main office where an operator will be more than happy to assist you._

Jared shifted uncomfortably on the dining room chair. It suddenly felt a lot harder than he remembered, but then that _could_ be just because he'd rather be anywhere than sitting at the table having this conversation with his parents. Moving slowly, Jared slid the pamphlet back onto the shiny surface of the table and wiped his sweating palms on the thighs of his jeans.

"Mom," he cleared his throat, "Dad," _God_ why did parents do things like this? "You know there are people who don't do this right?" He realized he was still rubbing his hands on his thighs and stopped, curling his fingers hard into his legs.

A soft gasp fell from Sharon Padalecki's lips as she turned from her son, shaking her head slowly. "Jared, both your father and I have Life Companions, as does Jeff. Megan will receive one. This is _expected_ of you as a Padalecki. Besides, what would society think?"

"It's been decided son," Gerald added, smiling reassuringly at Jared. "If you want to move out on your birthday, then you will have a Life Companion to ensure your safety."

Massaging his forehead slowly with his hand Jared smiled weakly and leaned forward. "Listen, the thing is. What if - what if I just live on my own? I'll be eighteen, I can take care of my own apartment, it's not like I need help with that."

Jared dropped his hand to the table, flicking at the edge of the pamphlet. "Tom probably- well, he _won't_ have one - maybe we could be roommates or something?" Jared looked up, hopeful. He hadn't even thought of that argument earlier when he'd been trying to prepare himself to take on his parents.

Sharon stared at her son with a slack jaw, eyes wide with shock. Matthew, the man behind her, instantly slid forward with water and a reassuring hand curling over her shoulder. She glanced up at him and nodded before looking back at Jared and sighing heavily, "Jared. You will _not_ be living with that Welling boy. Who would look after your finances? Who would ensure you made every medical appointment? I..." Her voice shook slightly and she brought the glass to her lips to take a long drink. "I absolutely forbid it. How could we possibly know you're safe? It's too dangerous and... no. You will have a Life Companion. And that's final." Pushing up from her seat she turned and left the room swiftly, Matthew retrieved the empty glass before following quickly after her.

From his chair Gerald sighed heavily and scratched a hand through his hair. "Jared, why must you upset your mother? You know how sensitive she is about this whole thing. It was hard enough when Jeff moved out, with you leaving it's just going to be Megan and that's really getting to her. Can't you just make her happy?" He looked pleadingly at Jared, holding up his hand and curling around the glass of brandy that appeared moments later, brought by Nicole who hovered patiently by his side.

Jared smiled at Nicole and looked down as she offered him only a polite smile in response. He'd known the Life Companions of his parents since he was a child. They'd played with him, babysat him and his siblings, patched up his scrapes when he'd fallen and held him when he'd been inconsolable as a child. And still, after all those things his parents treated Nicole and Matthew as though they were slaves, chattels. That was the thing that Jared didn't want to bring into his life. He didn't want to _own_ someone, he just didn't believe in it. It wasn't something he’d been taught by anyone, it was just something that didn’t seem right to him.

Shoving his chair back from the table Jared pushed up to his full height. At six foot four he loomed over his father, the odd-one out in his family. "Dad, I know what Mom's like. I just wanted a chance to say what I thought." The reality was that Jared had headed into the argument knowing that he wouldn't win. His Life Companion had been purchased years prior to this, his seventeenth year. "It's fine Dad, I'll figure out how to make it work."

"Of course you will," Gerald nodded and stood as well, holding out his glass until Nicole took it. "And think of it this way son, the person you marry will have a Life Companion as well. It really is for the best. Now, I believe you have an appointment for a tux fitting for your party." Gerald glanced at Nicole who nodded confirmation. "Would you like Nicole to accompany you into town?"

Shaking his head slowly Jared smiled. "No thanks, Dad. I'll call Chad. He's always up for a reason to drive his new car.” Without waiting for an answer Jared pulled his phone out of his pocket and slid it open. "Chad," he murmured at the screen and held the phone up to his ear. As he listened to it ringing he padded down the hallway to his room and closed the door behind him then flopped down on the bed.

"Padalecki my man," Chad answered with a laugh. "I just got the _best_ fucking blow job in the universe. Seriously dude, the things slave girl can do with her tongue, they'd make your grandma roll over in her grave."

"Jesus _Christ_ , Chad. In the first place, she's got a name - she's not _slave girl_ and second, dude, I really don't need to know where your dick has been." Jared shuddered and rolled over onto his back.

"Fuckin' slave lover. Long as you don't go protesting or some shit, end up in lock down with the other loonies." Chad snorted and coughed a moment later. "Got a reason to load your high and mighty bull shit on me?"

"Tux fitting. Get your ass over here and pick me up. I don't feel like driving and I could use someone as disconnected from reality as you to help me forget about what's coming." Jared huffed out a laugh and ran a hand through his hair. "Oh, and hey," he said over Chad's laughter, "bring Stephanie."

Chad laughed and the sound of clothes rustling crossed the line. "Fantastic. Meant to swing by the video rental anyway. And _of course_ I'll bring Stephanie, gotta show her off. I don't know why you're being such a fuckin' prude about the whole _Life Companion_ thing. Dude, it's the best shit _ever_." Chad huffed and the rustling grew louder, "no babe get the blue one. See you in ten," he added before the line disconnected.

Closing his eyes, Jared tossed his phone on the bed beside him. _Hell_. His life was _hell_ and if what he had to look forward to was a woman who was good at blow jobs he was pretty sure it was going to get worse. Jared wasn't completely opposed to blow jobs he'd just found, that lately, when he fantasized about things like that the lips were looking decidedly more masculine than feminine.

It wasn't that being gay was unheard of, of course it was still _tolerated_. Jared just knew that his family were expecting him to settle down with a woman, and he knew he'd be getting a female slave so in pretty short order his hopes of _ever_ experimenting with another guy were going to be a thing of the past. _Missed opportunities_.

Sometimes, Jared found himself wishing that he'd lived years ago when people still went out and picked each other up; when having sex with someone you hadn't known or purchased didn't automatically mean you'd get some sort of illness. It was a different world then; a different world now.

Casual sexual behavior wasn’t uncommon for friends who moved in similar social circles but that left Jared with even less appetizing choices. Chad was a womanizing, spoiled brat who firmly believe in _owning_ someone and was beyond the slightest shadow of a doubt completely, and utterly straight. Tom was head over heels in love with his girlfriend - a semi-arranged marriage worked out as part of a business merger. Jared was pretty convinced that Tom was mild mannered enough to settle for someone who would just _love_ him, care about him. Christian was completely insane, and even though he was pretty attractive and may have made it into more than one of Jared's fantasies; Jared valued his life too much to ever try anything on that front.

He lived in an isolated little world. Jared's parents had orchestrated everything from the time he was born; where he would go to school, how he'd dress, what sports he was involved in, any lessons in arts he'd been encouraged to take. The only reason Jared had, so far, managed to avoid a suggested marriage was because his mother somewhere deep in her crazy head was a true-believer in love and romance. It was a small miracle Jared was _very_ thankful for.

The sound of Chad's horn jolted Jared out of his thoughts and he bolted up off the bed. Snatching his jacket off the chair he whipped the door open and jogged down the hallway. "Bye," he called out to anyone who might have been listening.

The first thing he saw through the window of Chad's car was the broad shit-eating grin on his face. Jared rolled his eyes and pulled the passenger door open. Naturally, Stephanie was already in the back of the car. He slid into the seat and slipped his seat belt into the buckle. Chad drove like a maniac. "Chad," he acknowledge before cuffing his friend up the side of his head. Turning he smiled warmly at Stephanie. "Hi Stephanie, we haven't met yet. I'm Jared." He held his hand out to her.

Stephanie's wide blue eyes shot to Chad who grinned and nodded. "Hello Jared," she said quietly and hesitated for a moment before taking his hand and shaking it briefly.

"Dude, isn't she gorgeous? Look at that hair, you should see her when it’s all _messed up_ ," Chad laughed long and loud as he peeled out of the semi circle driveway, then he reached over to punch in the destination. "So glad I'm past the trial period, fuckin' sucks not being able to _touch_ and all that shit. Though the head thing, it's fantastic. Not long now my friend, you'll be living the _just fucked_ life," Chad smacked Jared on the thigh, adjusting his sunglasses on the bridge of his nose as he pulled up to a red light.

Jared cringed at Chad's words and turned in his seat slightly. "So - you stuck to that?" Jared was shocked. He knew that it was part of the initial trial period when you were matched with a Life Companion that _they_ were allowed to touch you but you weren't allowed to touch them. It was all about keeping them pure and clean in case things didn't work out in that first month. The Companions were trained in all manner of universal precautions and knew how to ensure their quality. However, he was quite surprised that Chad had managed to make it through that period without breaking the rules.

"Shit dude you fuckin' have too," Chad rolled his eyes and weaved through traffic, slowing at each intersection to avoid the traffic cameras speed detection. "It's like, part of the fuckin' contract. Guess Purity is hard up on some rules, they even send a doctor in after the first thirty days; make sure you're not fuckin' around with them. Somethin' also about ensuring the real world hasn't fucked up their systems. I dunno, didn't pay much attention. Why the fuck would I send her back? I mean, have you _looked_ at her?" Chad glanced back and grinned, shooting the smirk to Jared as he turned back to the road. "I am one _lucky_ S.O.B."

"Yeah, Chad." Jared shook his head and glanced back at Stephanie. "You're very beautiful, Stephanie." He smiled at her shyly. "Stephanie? How are things working out for you? Are you settling in alright?"

Once more Stephanie's eyes shot to Chad and he laughed, waving a hand casually, "you're free to talk to Jared, Steph, I don't mind. He's a good guy and won't give you any shit."

Nodding slowly Stephanie turned her gaze to Jared for a moment before dropping it, "Master is very nice. I enjoy his company. I also enjoy the city, it is very beautiful." Stephanie's eyes lifted to the window, watching the buildings zoom by out her window.

"I took her clothes shopping," Chad pointed out and punched Jared's shoulder. "See I'm not a total douche bag. At least I let her wear normal clothes and don't keep her in slave garb or some shit like that."

Jared's brow furrowed for a few moments and he tried to refrain from punching Chad in the arm. Chad's saving grace in Jared's mind was that he _knew_ his friend would never hurt Stephanie and even if he'd never admit it Jared was pretty sure Chad would learn to care about her, maybe even love her. "Are you happy, Stephanie?"

Stephanie looked surprised by the question as her eyes lifted to Jared then turned to Chad. "I am pleased with my Possessor."

"Dude, you're making her uncomfortable," Chad grumbled, pulling into a parking spot in front of the tuxedo shop. "You know you're not supposed to ask them things like that. This is what they were _made_ for."

"Sorry, Stephanie." Jared scratched at the back of his neck. "I'll be right back." He opened his door and slid out of the car, "I'll be quick," he threw over his shoulder right before he closed the door.

The tux fitting was everything he'd thought it would be; uncomfortable, annoying and something he'd really rather not be doing. But it was over soon enough and they were heading off to the video store. Jared stopped trying to speak with Stephanie. Chad was right, it obviously made her uncomfortable. Jared wasn't sure if that was because she didn't want to speak to him or because she had been raised to not even _know_ the answer. _Are you happy._ It had seemed like an innocent enough question.

While Chad looked at movies, trying to decide what he wanted Jared found himself lost in his thoughts again. What if he ended up with someone who couldn't answer that question? He didn't know if he could spend his entire life with someone who he thought was there _just because_ they'd been purchased. Maybe he'd inherited a bit of that _love for romance_ from his mother but he'd always kind of hoped he'd find someone to love him.

He glanced over at Stephanie and watched her for a while. She smiled at Chad when he spoke to her, but it wasn't the kind of smile Jared hoped he'd see on the face of the person he would be spending his life with. She looked almost disconnected at times, like she was a million miles away. Sure, maybe it could be chalked up to her still being so unaccustomed to everything; _hell_ that's what Jared hoped it was.

They decided to stop at one of the juice bars on the way home. Chad made a big production of pointing out that Stephanie had never been to one. Jared gave up trying to resist punching Chad and belted him across his arm. The punch resulted in a slapping spree that actually brought an amused smile to Stephanie's face and Jared could have sworn he saw Chad grin at her.

There were lots of people in the juice bar, even a few other Life Companions although if Stephanie knew them she gave the two men no indication that she did. The Companions were all identifiable by the silver bands they wore around their left wrists. Jared had read about it in some of the literature that his mother had been subtly leaving around his room for the past few months. The bands were put on when the Companions were young and they were impossible to remove without getting them cut off. Not that anyone would do that. In some circles that band signified a lot, garnered a lot of respect for the person wearing it. They were clean, pristine, and beautiful. Untouched by the grime and misfortune of their world.

Chad dropped Jared back off at the house shortly before dinner after Jared had extracted a promise from him that he'd head over early for the party the following day. Jared felt like he needed reinforcements if he were going to survive the day.

Slamming the door behind him Jared kicked off his shoes and slid down the hard would hallway into his room. Kicking the door shut behind him he moved over to turn on his computer and noticed a note stuck on the top of it. _Jared, fill out the survey before dinner. The deadline is tomorrow. - Mom_ Sighing, Jared crumpled the note up and tossed it in the garbage can before grabbing his laptop off the desk and lying face down on his bed. Flipping the laptop open he waited for it to boot up.

Everyone alive knew about the Cleanliness and Safety Act of 2010. It was like all the other dates in the history of the world. Jared could rattle them off like everyone else; World Wars, peace accord, more recently the Korean Disarmament, Canadian Separation and the addition of three more states and then the World Health Organization’s announcement that the Human Immuno Deficiency Virus would be airborne within ten years if the pandemic continued on its course.

At first – the message went largely unheeded. Perhaps it seemed too far in the future for people to think it might affect them. Even in 2009, the science of retrovirus study was too complicated for the general public.

2010 brought with it the first satellite linkup of the Global Health Institute. Ironically, it was a group of bored Computer Science students who managed to hack into the G.H.I. feed and what was intended to be a secure debate regarding the spread of a global “Plague” was broadcast into every living room, every wall screen and iPad across the globe. Anyone who wanted to eavesdrop was invited.

The World collectively panicked.

People suddenly understood that an airborne epidemic following in the footsteps of S.A.R.S., Swine flu, P.L.D. and Robstein’s Syndrome only exponentially worse was on its way.

The G.H.I. was forced into action. Backed by the governments of all major world powers it set in motion a series of Acts and Rulings that changed the course of the World. It was drastic, unheard of interference in people’s lives.

It began simply enough. Mandatory testing of all individuals for identified pathogens and contagions was instituted.

A strict immunization program was set up for those who were yet to be infected.

Laws sprang up regarding dangerous behaviors that would result in the spread of disease. People began to segregate themselves. As it had always been – those with money were better able to protect themselves. Gated communities became _contaminant free_ zones.

Soon, it was discovered that there was another valuable commodity. _Purity_.

 _Good health._

Those who were infection free and living below the poverty line were able to apply to become part of a government program created as a direct result of the Act of   
2010.

Stringent rules regarding the environment were instituted. All vehicles were to be electric, recycling and re-purposing enforced, xenoscaping was the only method of garden design allowed.

New laws were added to the books, old ones struck from the books. Prostitution became an international crime as was engaging in sexual activity with a prostitute. Bars and clubs changed from establishments with alcohol and drugs to juice bars. Smoothies and lemongrass juice replaced martinis and spritzers.

It shifted the world order.

As control of the pandemic was finally within reach – Clean Homes began to produce the first of their _pure_. Life Companions.

Purity was incorporated in 2010 and began the job of supervising the genetic managements, health and protection of the _pure_. Training programs were set up and soon enough the children were adult Life Companions, guaranteed to be pure.

 _Life Companions_. And because of all those decisions by people in suits and ties, scientists and theorists, Jared was sitting in front of his computer waiting to be dissected by a survey.

He knew exactly where the survey was, and _exactly_ what it was for. It was created for the sole purpose of matching him up with his Life Companion. Just like it said in the brochure, it was to provide the _best match to meet your needs_. Jared wasn't even sure he knew what he needs were.

He typed in the website for Purity and put in his ID number. The website changed to a pale blue screen with a _Start_ button in the middle. It flashed ominously at Jared for a few moments. He'd put off doing the survey because it felt so official, felt like the _start_ of a hell of a lot more than just a damn survey. Sighing, Jared tapped the button on his screen and the questions started to appear. The first ones were pretty standard. Jared described himself, chose some personality characteristics he thought represented him well. He answered everything from his favorite vehicle to his favorite color, the time he liked to go to bed, the time he got up in the morning. It wasn't nearly as bad as he thought.

Of course, Jared should never have thought that. As soon as he relaxed a little bit the questions seemed to get a bit more complicated.

 _**What physical attributes do you find attractive?** _

There was a list of items for Jared to choose from; different colors of hair, skin tone, things like that. He read through them a few times then picked out some that appealed to him.

 _tall, muscular, fit, dark hair, green eyes_

Jared thought about his choices for a few moments then grinned and added

 _freckles._

 _**Please tell us in a short paragraph what is important to you in a friendship.** _

That was a little tougher. After all, Jared's friends were, simply, who they were. He wasn't sure if they were all lined up across from each other they'd deliberately seek each other out. Their lives were so much more structured than that. Chad, Christian, and Tom had all gone to the same schools as Jared and even though Tom had gone because of a scholarship they'd sort of been thrown together.

 _I like people I can trust. Someone who's creative and insightful. Strong, willing to discuss things, open and caring. Someone who won't just take care of me but will actually care about me._

It was harder than Jared thought. He had really always thought that he was the kind of guy who could find something good about anyone. He thought about the way that Nicole was around his father and that certainly wasn't what he thought of as a friendship. Jared started typing again.

 _Someone who will stay awake late at night and talk with me, listen to my secrets and share theirs with me. A person who can make me feel better when I feel like everything is all screwed up. Someone who won't give up on me._

Blushing slightly, he considered changing it then shrugged and hit _next_.

 _**Do you like to control situations?** _

_No._

Jared wasn't sure where the answer came from but he couldn't think of a situation he would actually like to be in control of. He knew that he felt, sometimes, like he wanted someone to just take over for him.

 _**Will you be having a sexual relationship with your Life Companion?** _

Jared stared at the screen. How the hell was he supposed to answer that question before he'd even met the person? He was pretty sure that there wasn't a computer program on the face of the earth that could hand pick the perfect mate for him. In fact, Jared held out little hope that he'd have much more than a friendship with anyone.

 _I don't know._

The way he'd always thought about it in his mind, he'd figured that he might be lucky if he got a Companion that he was comfortable with. Someone he could be friends with, not like he was friends with Chad or Tom, but at least, someone who wouldn't stand around his apartment like furniture.

 _**How do you like to spend your recreational time?** _

_reading, painting, walking._

 _**If you were to choose two qualities for your sexual partner what would they be?** _

Jared's eyebrows darted up. He was suddenly very glad that his mother wouldn't be looking at the survey results. Two qualities. Talk about pressure.

 _strong, gentle_

 _**What tasks would you assign to your Life Companion?** _

This was the kind of stuff that Jared wasn't looking forward to. He knew what kind of answers were expected of him, cleaning, organizing, attending social functions that kind of thing. A smirk crept across his face as he thought about Chad writing down blow jobs.

 _Sharing in the cleaning. Cooking. (I can't cook). Keep me company. Model for my painting. Make me laugh. Teach me things. Talk to me when I wake up from a nightmare._

The people who reviewed this survey were going to take one look at it and think Jared was completely insane; he was convinced of it. It just seemed smart to actually put down some things that _did_ matter to him. There was no point in lying. This _was_ about someone he would be spending most of his life with even if, at some point, he did somehow end up in a marriage.

 _**Are you happy?** _

Jared laughed softly. The irony of the question wasn't lost on him. Chad would certainly be amused. Jared typed out the first thing that came to mind.

 _I don't know._

Dragging a hand down his face Jared sighed. At this rate it would be years before he finished the survey.

 _**What is love?** _

Huffing out a frustrated breath, Jared rubbed at his eyes. So far, Jared hadn't had a single experience that could give him any insight into _that_ question. He was pretty sure he knew what love wasn't. It certainly wasn't what he parents had with their Life Companions. Hell, he wasn't even entirely sure it was what his parents had with one another. He knew that Tom said he was in love with the girl he had agreed to marry but Jared wasn't convinced yet. Chad. Well, Chad didn't love Stephanie yet, Jared hoped his might but he wasn't sure.

 _It's wanting to be with someone so badly it hurts. Feeling like you just... can't even breathe if you can't be near them. Give and take. Sacrifice. It's love. Maybe the Companion can teach me that._

He couldn't help the last line. It was a reaction to the fact that he'd _obviously_ been spending too much time with his mother. He'd been infected with her romantic ideals. And, this whole survey thing was starting to make him feel pretty depressed. Nothing like a little navel gazing to make oneself feel inferior.

 _**Do you prefer the company of men or women?** _

_Men._ He hardly even knew any women he wasn’t related to.

 _**Describe your sexual history.** _

There was a surprising laundry list of sex acts to choose from including a few that Jared had to look up on the internet, two that made him smirk and one that made him click the back button on his browser quickly. Sighing again, Jared answered.

 _Masturbation, fantasy._

He wondered if there was anyone his age anymore who actually experimented sexually. The world was kind of a scary place. Jared wasn't naive. He knew there were places in the city where you could pay for sex. He also knew that if you were willing to pay enough Life Companions could be purchased from people who had no sexual interest in them. There was nothing in the contract that forbid the _lending_ out of Companions. Actually, once the contract was finalized there was little governing the behavior of the Possessor. Of course, they had to follow the basic laws of Society. Physical abuse wasn't anymore legal now than it had ever been but everyone knew that didn't stop it from happening. From what Jared had learned in his social history studies - it never had.

 _**Do you give more or take more?** _

_give_

 _**What is more important to you, pleasing others or being pleased?** _

_pleasing others._

 _**Was purchasing a Life Companion your decision or a family tradition?** _

All of Jared's school friends were getting Life Companions and he was certain in nearly every case the decision was made for them. Sure, he had friends who couldn't wait to get their Companion. Chad, for example. In the weeks leading up to the Companion's arrival he had plagued Jared with phone calls and late night visits and forced him to listen to hours of speculation about what type of Companion he would get.

 _My family's decision._

Jared tapped the next button one more time and was particularly pleased to see a screen that simply thanked him for completing the survey.

The party arrived far quicker than Jared had expected. He was actually quite shocked when his tux arrived and he realized that meant the party was that evening. Because it was his birthday, Jared got away with spending most of the day doing nothing but hanging out; he messed around on the computer, took an extra long shower, ate his favorite breakfast and even managed to get Nicole to make him a second stack of pancakes.

By early evening Jared was in his bedroom struggling into his tuxedo and wondering, yet again, why he'd agreed to wear formal dress. Not everyone did these days, sometimes, these parties were even completely informal gatherings but that was never the way things seemed to go in his family. Jared was wrestling with his tie, actually retying it for the third time when there was a quiet knock at his door.

"Come on in," he called out.

"Need some help?" Megan grinned at her brother as she appeared around the doorway, stepping into the room and smoothing down her dark purple dress. Looking up at Jared she giggled and spun in a circle. "What do you think? Mom let me get it specially made for your party so thank you for turning eighteen."

Laughing softly Jared let his hand fall from his tie. "You're very welcome. Careful though - you're actually looking like a real girl. No one will believe what a tom boy you are." He winked at his little sister and waved her over to help with his tie. "You look pretty."

"I'm girlie enough," Megan snorted and crossed to him, reaching up to fiddle with his tie. "Are you excited? I bet you are. Man, I can't _wait_ to turn eighteen. Move out, get a slave, and get married. Though I don't suppose they'll let me move out before marriage,"   
"Companion, not slave, Meg”

Megan frowned and shook her head, head tilted up to her brother. "Did you finish the questionnaire thingy?"

Jared stuffed his hands in his pockets as Megan tugged on his tie. "I filled out that stupid thing last night. Man, you won't believe the questions when you have to do it. Crazy." He shook his head slowly.

Megan rolled her eyes, smoothing down his collar over the tie, "I know. I tried asking Jeff about it but he said you're not allowed to discuss it." She looked hopefully at Jared and sighed when he said nothing. "So, what do you think she'll be like? I hope she's nice like Nicole. I don't like Katherine very much, she's not broken in yet," Megan reached up to tuck loose strands of Jared's hair back, referring to their brother's Life Companion who hadn't yet learned the best way to blend into a room even though Jeff had acquired her more than a few years ago.

"Broken in? God, Meg. She's not a horse she's a human being. You've been spending too much time listening to Mom. Maybe Jeff doesn't want her to blend in did you ever think of that? Katherine is pretty and sweet and bubbly, maybe he likes her being around - did you think of that?" Jared grinned down at his sister to soften his criticism. "Thanks," he murmured, stepping back to see how his tie looked.

"Jared, they may be people but they're not like us," Megan dropped her hands and turned to the mirror to check her hair. "We're learning about this in school now. Purity's been around long enough that hardly any of them were ever free people. Most were born in the Clean Homes. They were raised to be slaves so you really should stop feeling so guilty about it."

"Who said I feel guilty about it?" Jared fussed with the button on the cuff of his shirt and reached out for his jacket. "Maybe I just don't want some stranger in my house. _Maybe_ ," he teased, "I've spent so much time with you and Jeff I want to live on my own!"

"That's so... heathen of you Jared," Megan giggled and reached out to shove him gently. "No one lives alone anymore, it's not safe," Megan bit her lip, obviously made nervous by the very idea. "So you never said, what do you think she'll be like? I bet she'll be pretty."

Taking a deep breath, Jared realized that the idea of opening his door and finding a strange woman standing there wasn't really all that appealing. "I guess - I said I liked... well, I’m not supposed to tell you now am I?" He flicked his sister’s curls and threw an arm around her. "I'm sure whoever they send me will be a good match, yeah?" Or, Jared would spend the rest of his life feeling very uncomfortable in his own home.

"I'm sure. We learned in class that Purity has a ninety nine percent success rate with matches now. That's a lot better than it used to be," she nodded and turned to Jared, throwing her arms around him in a hug. "I'm gonna miss you when you move out. Who's gonna save me from mom's crazy tirades? Or Matthew's awful cooking?" She teased and poked his chest as she slid back from the hug.

"Hey, I'll be back to visit I'm not being _banished_ from the family or anything." He laughed softly. He would miss Meg too; they'd spent a lot of time together over the years and were probably closer than most brothers and sisters. She was a sweet kid, hell; she was almost an adult herself. Everything was changing so quickly.

Jared sighed. "Are we supposed to go down _there_ soon?" Although he was looking forward to seeing his friends Jared couldn't help being aware that this was the final step. He'd wake up tomorrow morning for the last time in his family home and be moved to his new apartment. _So fast._

"Yup, the guests were already arriving when I came up here. I think I saw Christian," Megan's smile grew with the blush along her cheeks as she caught Jared's hand and dragged him toward the door of his bedroom.

Jared walked down the hallway with Megan, listening to her excited babble and rounded the corner to find himself face to face with a wall of people. The party was already large enough the crowd had spilled out onto the back sun patio. Jared was particularly relieved to hear Christian’s gruff voice call out to him, right before a rough hand tugged him forward into the sea of faces.

He was given about a hundred birthday wishes of happiness, he was congratulated, and he was teased about his upcoming meeting with his Life Companion. Chad kept slipping him drinks and by the time the cake was brought out Jared was feeling a little goofy and a hell of a lot more relaxed than he had been when he first came out. The big production of the evening was Jared's Dad presenting him with the key card and code to his new apartment. Even as he closed his hand around the warm plastic, Jared felt a little sad. It was going to be strange leaving his home, his family and ultimately, learning to live with a complete stranger.

By late evening, Jared, Chad, and Christian were outside all crushed onto one huge lounge chairs singing their school song and laughing. Jared slid his arms around his friends and pulled them close. It was strange to realize how much he was going to miss hanging out with them all the time. He knew that the alcohol was making him a little melancholy but, still, things would change. Christian made a toast to their friendship and they all drank then Christian laughed and kissed both Chad, then Jared firmly on the lips. Even while they collapsed about laughing, Jared could feel his cheeks flushing and knew it had _nothing_ to do with the alcohol.

It felt like the evening passed by in a blur of faces and shaking hands and firm pats on his shoulder. Before it seemed possible, Jared was standing at the front door waving good-bye to Chad and Christian as Stephanie patiently waited for them behind the wheel of Chad's car. At least Jared didn't have to worry about Chad getting home. He held up his hand and nodded at Stephanie, noting the way she only met his eyes for an instant. Watching the car disappear down the road Jared took a few deep breaths of the fresh evening air. The last night before the rest of his life. Kind of sucked to think of it like that actually. Turning slowly, Jared disappeared back into the house.

In the days following his birthday Jared felt a bit like he was strapped onto a rocket and had absolutely no control over where things were going. Jeff showed up early the morning after Jared's birthday, movers started packing his things and Jared was stuffed into the vehicle that Jeff had picked up for him and was whipped away to his new apartment.

It wasn't nearly as bad as he expected. His parents had chosen a place for him on the outskirts of town, one of the new high rises. Jared's apartment was basically half of the twentieth floor, there was a long balcony along the south side of the building with a hot tub and a fabulous view of the mountains. There was enough room inside for him to move in nearly everyone he knew and suddenly Jared was feeling a little more open to the idea of having a Companion with him.

It only took Jared a few days to get settled and soon enough he was padding around his apartment in his boxer shorts and grinning as he ate junk food and drank beer on his sofa while he watching his favorite movies. One of the things he hadn't really thought about was the amount of freedom he would have in his own apartment. There were several amusing moments over the first week.

Jared spent one entire day naked - especially once he realized that no one could see him from his balcony and he could sit outside in the hot tub until his fingers were pruned. Singing at the top of his lungs he would dance and strut across the living room until he was out of breath and laughing. He burned two pots the first week, trying to cook, gave up and started ordering food from the approved delivery services. Fortunately, Jared had an allowance from his parents that would be more than ample for his lifestyle. He kept to himself for the second week, settling in to his new routine. Coffee and breakfast in the mornings, reading his favorite novels, listening to music, trying not to turn all his white shirts pink when he did laundry. He was busy, and though he hadn't admitted it out-loud, happy.

When he received a call from _Purity_ to let him know that his Companion would be arriving the following day Jared was jolted back to reality. In the pleasant settling in phase he'd almost forgotten that he would soon be sharing the place with someone.

The night before his appointment he had a fitful sleep, tossing and turning until the early hours of the morning. When he woke, he sprang out of bed and started cleaning. It had suddenly occurred to him at about four am that his Companion would be used to a perfectly clean and ordered environment and he didn't want her first impression of him to be that he was a slob. He was halfway through alphabetizing his music discs, primarily because he'd run out of other things to keep himself occupied, when his buzzer rang.

Jared pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and entered his confirmation code for the door, knowing that his new Companion would have the same code and would be entering the building as soon as she punched it in. In his nervousness he tripped on his way to the door and fell forward hitting his head on the corner of the music rack. Stunned and sore he was rubbing at his forehead when he heard a quiet knock at the door. Wincing and poking at the already swelling lump on his forehead Jared unlocked the door and pulled it open.

Peering out the doorway through one eye he was surprised to see a man standing there. He was _really_ good looking and had pretty much the most startling green eyes that Jared had ever seen. He leaned forward and looked out into the hallway. "Did you bring her?" _God_ his head ached. Maybe his Companion's first task could be to get him some ice and painkillers.

Blinking slowly up at the man Jensen wet his lips and held up a manila envelope. "Good morning Master, I am correct in assuming you are Jared Padalecki?" He recited the words carefully and precisely, turning slightly to look down the hallway that the man kept peering down.

Jared looked down at the man, "Master?" He looked back down the hallway once more and back at the man in front of him. "Yeah, I'm sorry; I'm Jared. Listen, I just hit my head." Finally dropping his hand from his forehead he smiled, "who _are_ you?" Jared had never heard of there being mix ups with Companions or that they got _misplaced_ but he supposed this guy could be there to tell him something had gone wrong with the arrival.

Dropping his gaze to the floor Jensen frowned and answered him quietly, "My name is Jensen." When this seemed to trigger no response he looked back up and tried not to fidget. "I am your Life Companion."

"You're my-" Jared had obviously hit his head harder than he'd thought. "You're - a guy." Jared couldn't help grinning and laughing softly. Obviously there had been some sort of mistake. "I'm a guy, I mean,” he shrugged, “that's obvious." Shaking his head he realized they were still standing in the open doorway. "Listen, I'm sorry. Come in and we'll... we'll phone someone and get this straightened out." He pushed the door open and gestured for Jensen to come inside.

Walking slowly into the apartment Jensen couldn't help looked around curiously, taking in the place that was presumably to be his new home. It was just like the pictures in the books he’d been studying all his life, albeit a little more on the messy side. His new Possessor’s home was stylish and wide, freshly polished floor and modernly designed furniture. The artwork was a bit retro, Jensen might peg it from the early twenty first century only it looked cleaner, and not anything he had seen from his art books. There was just a smudge of blue paint along the frame of the painting and Jensen realized it had to have been created by the man in front of him. An artist, for some reason this pleased Jensen.

"Phone someone?" He asked quietly, glancing up at Jared before quickly dropping his gaze. "I'm sorry Master I do not understand. Did you not request a Life Companion?" Jensen was confused by his Possessor's surprise at seeing him and, if he hadn't spent the entire journey here - and the days previous since he'd learned he was to be placed - repeating _Jared Padalecki_ in his mind he might have thought some mistake had been made. Purity didn't make mistakes though.

"I did, I mean we did. But I thought. I thought I would be sent a woman. Are you sure there hasn't been some kind of mistake?" Jared took a few steps back and sank down onto the couch. "I hit my head," he repeated and ran his fingers over the lump on his forehead, frowning at the sticky feel of wet blood on his skin. "Maybe I should call my Mom and get her to straighten this out." He blinked a few times and looked up at Jensen. "Please, sit down, I'll just take a minute here and then we'll get you on your way back."

Something unpleasant and unfamiliar sank in Jensen's heart and he walked slowly over to the chair, sitting along the very edge, laying the manila envelope over his lap. He must be breaking some sort of record, the fastest exchange in the history of Purity. Taking a moment in attempt to compose himself, Jensen surveyed the living room beneath his lashes. Modern technology, a flat screen digital TV with several electronic attachments. Jensen recognized the small box for movie cards, a large shelf filled with those movies, little box containers containing thin cards to insert and play. There was a virtual game console and an older one that he recalled seeing in his History book. The lack of real books was not a surprise, most would have been purchased electronically since book printing was very rare now-a-days, but it was also somewhat of a disappointment. Jensen was accustomed to using e-readers during lessons but the few times he’d been allowed to peruse the old library, he had always savored the touch and feel of a solid book.

"I..." Jensen's heart continued its weird stutter stop in his chest as he looked back down at his lap and he curled his fingers over his knees, taking up as little space as possible, blending in as he was meant too. "I apologize that I am not to your satisfaction Master," he whispered, keeping his eyes glued on the floor. "I am certain Purity will be happy to assist you in receiving a more... pleasing Life Companion."

"Oh, no. No, it's not that." Jared tried a small smile even though Jensen's seemed intent on not looking at him. "You're satisfying." Jared's cheeks flushed, "I mean I'm sure you're to my, uh, to someone's satisfaction. _Shit_. Sorry." So, everything that Jared had put into the computer survey had actually spat out a man at the other end. His Life Companion was a man. "I'm probably not what you expected either huh?" He laughed softly. "And call me Jared."

Jensen looked up at his Possessor, watching the gentle warmth cross his face as he smiled. "I did not spend much time considering who my Possessor might be," Jensen answered truthfully, sticking to the rules that were ingrained in their minds from birth. Always the truth. "Master, perhaps if you gave me an opportunity, I could please you?" It wasn't Jensen's place to question or second guess his Possessor's intentions but he desperately wanted to prove himself.

"It'd please me if you'd call me Jared," he teased. The look on the man's face was breaking his heart. Jensen seemed to think that this mix up was somehow a reflection on him. "You know this isn't about you... I'm... I'm..." Jared swallowed as his eyes moved over Jensen's loose white clothes. "I'm sure you're pleasing, could please me." The heat on his cheeks burned hotter. He thought about trying to explain that something had gone wrong, and how he would receive the usual responses - even Megan had pointed out that the survey was ninety-nine percent accurate.

Jared was pretty certain that there was no way he'd given the survey the slightest indication that he _might_ be interested in men sexually. _God_ , he didn’t even know himself if he was interested in men. Apart from a few day dreams and a joke kiss from one of his friends - he had nothing to base it on. And, there was the underlying principle that his Life Companion wasn't even necessarily a sexual partner. Not often did people have a plutonic relationship with them, or an employer/employee type of relationship. He watched as Jensen dipped his head again and his heart ached a little for the man. It wasn't his fault.

"Hey," Jared smiled again and waited until Jensen looked up at him. "It's not you, it's just - this isn't what I expected. I was thinking that my Companion would be a woman." He watched as Jensen's face fell slightly again. He was sure that the man was trying to hide his disappointment. "How about we give it a try? You know for the trial period, I mean maybe you won't like it right?"

Looking up once more Jensen stared at Jared, so surprised by the comment that he couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of his lips, "it only matters what you like, not what I like."

Jensen clamped down on his tongue and dropped his head, shame rising up in his chest, "I'm sorry Mas- Jared. I spoke out of turn." Jensen uncurled his fingers from around his knees and lifted the manila envelope, rising from his chair Jensen took several steps forward, holding it out. "Here is the appropriate paperwork, Jared."

Jared took the envelope, fingers brushing over Jensen's. "You didn't speak out of turn, just talk whenever you want to, okay?" Jared opened the envelope and peered inside then looked back up at Jensen. "Do I have to do anything with this? Fill anything out or... just read it?" He _really_ should have spent more time paying attention when his Mom had been telling him what to expect when his Companion showed up.

"The information needed to return me to Purity is in there," Jensen explained, stepping back once Jared had the envelope. "May I retrieve anything for you Mas- Jared," he corrected, nervously shifting in his place.

Jared shifted forward to the edge of the seat, "c'mere," he fell easily into the way he would speak with Chad and Christian. He pushed his hair back from his forehead, flinching, "is my eye going black? Did I cut my head bad?" Blinking up at Jensen he waited for the man to come closer.

Years of training had him moving forward, instantly concerned for his Possessor's safety and well being. _Your Possessors safety is first and foremost, even to your own._ Jensen dropped onto the seat beside Jared, snatching a tissue from the box on the side table and curling it between his fingers. Cupping Jared's chin in his free hand he tilted his Possessor's head up, dabbing at the wound gently. "I believe there may be a bruise, but the bleeding is minor. Perhaps you would like an ice pack," he suggested quietly, staring at the cut.

Jared smiled and nodded a goofy grin on his face. "Would you mind? There's one in the fridge," he gestured toward the kitchen. "I was nervous," he muttered as though that would explain the clumsiness.

Nodding swiftly Jensen pushed up from the chair and moved quickly into the kitchen. He was curious, wanted to stop and look around in case he didn't have the chance too before Jared decided what to do with him. The need to serve was engrained in him however so he pulled the freezer open, searching around until he could tug out an ice pack. A little more searching and he found a towel to wrap around it then walked swiftly back into the living room and reclaimed his seat beside his Possessor. "Would you like some medicine?" Jensen asked, voice soft with concern as he pressed the ice pack against Jared's wound.

"I think I'll be okay," Jared murmured. Now that Jensen seemed a bit more relaxed, Jared took a moment to study his face. His face was - well, Jared couldn't think of a better word than stunning. The man had a strong jaw, not too angular and long dark eyelashes that Jared was pretty sure would have his sister in a flutter. "Freckles," he blurted out with a soft laugh automatically lifting his finger to trace along the scatter of copper colored marks on Jensen's cheek. "Oh." He snapped his hand back, "I'm not supposed to touch you, right?"

Jensen's lips twitched into a slight smile and he dropped his gaze, shaking his head, "You can touch my face. You aren't supposed to touch me in a sexual nature until after the trial period." Rolling his lips together Jensen wondered if that was the type of Life Companion he was meant to be. The act of sex with a male was not unknown to him, they had learned of it should the situation arise, and Jensen felt the oddest hum of anticipation at the idea. "I believe your envelope provides specific details on that subject."

"Oh, okay," Jared blushed and tightened his fingers on the envelope. "Guess I should probably should read this stuff." He looked down at the envelope. "I wouldn't do that, you know - touch you like that. Sexually, I mean. I know that's not what you want. I mean," Jared cleared his throat, “that's not what you're for, to do. I mean." Closing his eyes he blew out a breath. "Let me start that over."

Jared leaned forward and put the envelope on the table, amused when Jensen moved with him to keep the ice pack on his head. "Jensen, I want you to understand that you don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with while you're here, okay?"

"I want to do whatever you require of me, Jared," Jensen said earnestly, smiling softly. "It would please me to please you," he whispered, dropping his gaze. Jensen hadn't known what to expect when he had left his Clean Home, Jared was probably nowhere close to anything he could have pictured. The man was quite gorgeous in a unique sense, the slight dip in his nose, hair worn longer than usual for their society as if he was a person who enjoyed relating to the worlds history. Jensen thought of the old game console near the TV and smiled, wondering if perhaps Jared might have books as well.

" _O_ kay, another conversation we should probably have later." Jared was feeling a little like Jensen had the upper hand, after all, he was the one with all the information. "How about, I show you your room and I go to _my_ room and read up a little." He saw concern flit across Jensen's face. "I'm committed to trying this out for our trial period, if that's what you want, Jensen." Raising his eyebrows questioningly he nodded at the other man.

Jensen recognized the dismissal and stood, curling his fingers around the ice pack as he stepped back. "Alright Jared, you don't have to show me to my room, if you'd prefer to rest, simple directions would suffice." Jensen picked at the white fabric along his legs, eyes trained on the floor.

Frowning, Jared stood up and offered Jensen his hand. "If it's okay with you, I'd like to show you your room." He didn't like the way Jensen kept shutting down, it was almost like he was trying to disappear.

Reaching out slowly Jensen laid his hand over Jared's, staring at the place their skin touched, soft and smooth, securing Jensen’s thought that the man’s work was not of a physical nature. Artist he was almost certain. "Okay Jared," he murmured quietly and waited patiently for the man to lead him through the apartment.

Jensen's hand was warm in his and for the first time it occurred to Jared that they might _both_ be nervous. After all, Jensen had never done this before either. Jared tugged him down the hall and opened the first door leading Jensen inside. "Here you go," he smiled. "I... well, I chose what's in here but I can change anything you want so just let me know okay?”

Jared let Jensen's fingers slide out of his hand. "Oh, here I'll take the ice pack." Jared pressed it back to his forehead. "I got you some flowers; you know when I thought you were a girl." He gestured at the window will where he'd put a vase of tiger lilies, "they're my favorites - which is probably _not_ something you wanted to know." He laughed nervously and moved the ice pack to a slightly different spot on his forehead. "Anyway, I'm gonna go read and maybe rest. Please make yourself at home, Jensen. If you need anything feel free to come yell at me." He grinned and took a couple of steps toward the door.

Jensen resisted the urge to look around the room, keeping his body turned toward Jared as he crossed to stand in the middle of the room. "Thank you, Jared," he said softly, glancing up at him and trying for another small, polite smile.

"You're very welcome. I'm looking forward to getting to know you." Jared backed out of the room and crossed the hallway quickly to his own room closing his door. "God," he murmured. Not at all how he had pictured his meeting with his Life Companion.


	2. Chapter 2

For a long time Jensen simply stood in the middle of his new room, in his new home, in a place he wasn't sure he was supposed to be. Well, he _knew_ he was supposed to be here but it wasn't looking like he would be for long. The feeling was unexpected and it tightened his heart slightly. For as long as Jensen could remember, from the very moment he learned to speak and understand words, he knew what he was to be. He knew that one day he would leave the Clean Homes and the Pure people and step out into the real world. As Jensen grew he watched it happen over and over, person after person being taken aside, spending their last weeks in solitude before being delivered.

They were taught the ways of the world, schooled in finances and life skills, molded and shaped to be the perfect adviser for their Possessor. Life was not hard in the Clean Homes, though Jensen acknowledged he had no basis for comparison. They were never meant to question their future Possessors, even discouraged from imagining who they might be placed with, but some part of Jensen had been curious. No matter how much a person was trained you could not change human nature. The hard thing about imagining his future Possessor however was Jensen's inability to picture the outside world.

The very first lesson taught to all the Pure people - as they referred to themselves in the Clean Homes - was how dangerous the outside world was. Every action must be thought over, staying clean was the priority, keeping your Possessor's personal information and data locked away was an expectation, and failing was not an option. The next lesson was how to adapt into a world where you were less of a person and more of a possession. Though the terms were not used specifically, none of the Pure doubted what they were meant to be. It was their duty, what they were bred for, and to think otherwise was only foolish.

As they reached adulthood the Pure were taught a part of their duties that otherwise went unspoken and still were mostly foreign to Jensen outside words and pictures. Sex. Something most Possessors shared with their Life Companion though it would not be a certain duty until placement was arranged. Jensen understood that this was likely Jared's hold up concerning him. If Jared had been expecting to share intercourse with his Companion then having a male would likely put a damper in that scenario, unless Jared was more inclined to the male body. Truthfully, the thought wasn't unappealing to Jensen but part of sexual education was to have a healthy appreciation for both the male and female body.

Jensen was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of something slamming outside the window. Turning slowly he crossed the room and stared out into the street were a group of men were loading things into the back of a truck. They looked like the delivery men Jensen had seen outside the storage center in the Clean Homes. A man and a woman were walking along the sidewalk, glancing at the workers and smiling a greeting. Jensen caught a flash of silver along the man's wrist and instinctively his fingers brushed the warm metal around his own wrist. He wondered if Jared would take him out, if Jared would hold his hand the way he had to lead him down the hall. Jensen had never been touched before, not outside medical examinations, and judging from the few brief touches of flesh he'd felt so far, he didn't mind it.

Lifting a hand Jensen pressed his fingers into the cool glass, stepping in to lay his forehead against the closed window. Less than two weeks ago he had been sitting in the common room, reading classic literature by Tolkien, a rare treat to hold the book in his fingers, and then Dr. Newton had approached him. It hadn't been a well-check day and Jensen wasn't feeling ill, plus there had been a smile on Dr. Newton's face and he'd known it was time. The Pure weren't allowed to leave until after they reached eighteen, just as the Possessor had to be of age before they were matched. Most Pure were sent out before reaching their nineteenth birthday but that had not happened for Jensen. Year after year had passed and Jensen had begun to worry that there might be something wrong with him.

But finally, at twenty two, a Possessor had been a perfect fit. This was how Jensen knew being in this place wasn't a mix up. There had been plenty of opportunities for Jensen to be matched with someone else so he had to be Jared's very best Companion. And Purity so very rarely made mistakes. In fact, Jensen had never seen one person returned to his Clean Home. Groaning softly, Jensen silently acknowledged that he might very well be the first, breaking a perfect record. Jensen found Jared very pleasing to look at, and his Possessor seemed genuinely nice though more than a little shocked. He'd spent two weeks in solitude, staring at the piece of paper Dr. Newton had given to him that listed Jared's name, age, address, the only information he was to be given before meeting him.

Despite Jared's insistence, Jensen couldn't help feeling partially responsible for not satisfying Jared's needs instantly. Twenty two years he'd spent trying to picture his very first interaction with his Possessor. Somehow shock had never come into the picture. They had always taught them that all matches were made with the Possessor's wants and wishes in mind. _How could they make such a mistake?_ Jensen sighed softly, watching a young couple walk past with a child swinging from their hands between them, a male and female following them, their Companions. Normality.

Jared had said he was willing to try, for the thirty day period, and Jensen decided to cling to that. He wanted so desperately to belong to someone, to fulfill his Possessor's wants and needs, to prove his worth, and he would do everything he could to please Jared. Maybe he could prove himself a worthy Companion and at the end of the thirty days Jared would want him, would chose to keep him.

 _Hopefully_.

Jensen didn't really want to consider what might happen to him should he be sent back. After all, he was reaching his prime age, no one wanted an _old_ Companion. With a quiet sigh Jensen leaned harder against the glass, content to pass the time until Jared needed him watching the world he'd never known.

It was bad enough that Jared's head was throbbing but having to try and sort through what to do with Jensen was weighing heavily on him. Everything Jared had prepared for was pretty much out the window. Based on his relationship with Nicole, his father's Companion he'd developed what he thought might be a plan for keeping his own Companion entertained. But, he didn't think that modeling for him, for instance was going to be something that Jensen would be interested in. Jared emptied the contents of the envelope and read through everything, pacing back and forth restlessly. He learned a lot - things that his mother had probably been trying to tell him for a long time. Clothes, he was supposed to get Jensen some more common clothes to wear. Jared wondered briefly if they could do that together as a way to break the ice.

Sinking down on the edge of his bed Jared slid his phone open. "Chad," he said and waited for the phone to dial.

"Damn dude calling me already? What, she butt ass ugly or somethin'?" Chad laughed as a greeting, calling out a moment later, "Steph grab me a beer would you?"

"She's a guy," Jared blurted out.

Silence filled the line for several long beats until Chad coughed, popping the tap on his beer and slurping loudly. Finally he managed a clipped, "What?"

"Yeah. Jensen. My Life Companion is a guy." Jared lowered his voice, "Chad, what the _hell_ does that mean?" Jared combed his fingers through his hair.

"It means when I call you gay you actually _are_ ," Chad laughed, coughing a moment later before going on. "Dude, it means nothing. So it's a guy, big fuckin' deal. Hell, you're even luckier cause you don't gotta worry about the girlie shit. With a guy you can hang out, be buddies, and you know, experiment and shit. You're freaking out huh?"

"Chad, your powers of deduction are amazing." Jared raised his voice slightly, "Of _course_ I'm freaking out. I thought I would be getting a woman." Jared's voice trailed off. "What do you mean experiment?" Jared's eyes widened.

Chad's laughter grew, "Shit dude I know you're a fuckin' prude but you're not an _idiot_. You know these slaves; they're prepared to go both ways just in case. It's not unheard of. My aunt's a total fuckin' lesbo and she gets it on with her slave all the time. Hell I've even thought about it, you know, fuckin' around with a guy. So your slave is like, a walking, talking gay sex doll or some shit."

Groaning Jared fell back onto his bed. "Why did I call you? Chad, what the hell do I do? Hang out with him like I would hang out with you? Play basketball?" Jared sighed and added, "I didn't know your Aunt was a lesbian."

"Yeah my mom doesn't like to talk about it," Chad huffed and fell into silence punctuated by another loud slurp. "Listen dude, I know how against this whole _Life Companion_ shit you are so maybe it's better you have a guy. I mean, you're not gonna see him as fragile and shit like you would a girl. So maybe it's a little uh... unconventional but they gave him to you for a reason, he's probably awesome or whatever."

"Well, he seems like an okay guy. I don't see them as fragile." Jared huffed into the phone. "Do you think I should call my Mom and tell her?" Jared couldn't even imagine what his mother's expression would be when she found out about Jensen. It had never been suggested to Jared by anyone that he might end up with a man.

"Oh. Fuck I hadn't even thought of that," Chad groaned in sympathy for his friend. "I don't know. You keepin' him?"

"For now," Jared muttered. "He looked miserable when I said I thought there'd been a mistake. Like I'd punched him in the gut or something." Closing his eyes Jared's lips curved into a small smile. "He might be okay to have around for a while. You know the thirty day thing." Pushing himself up to sit on the edge of the bed Jared glanced over at the clock. "I'm gonna go get him and talk to him or something. I'm willing to bet he hasn't left his bedroom since I showed him where it was."

"Probably not," Chad laughed, the sound dropping off a moment later. "You know dude, I'm not gonna like, go batshit on you or something if you are interested in guys. Nothin' wrong with it. Let me know if you want us to come by or something."

"Okay," Jared smiled; surprised by the fact that Chad had actually made him feel better. "Thanks man." Sliding his phone closed Jared took a deep breath and tossed his phone onto the bed. It felt a bit like he was going to war or something. Opening his door and padding across the hall Jared tapped softly on Jensen's door. He figured he might have fallen asleep or something and didn't want to disturb him.

Turning away from the window in surprise Jensen stepped slightly away from the glass and cleared his throat, "Come in." Jensen's forehead was tingling and he wondered briefly if he had any sort of mark. He'd lost track of how long he'd been standing there but his knees were slightly sore from being locked so long.

Pushing the door open Jared peeked around the door frame. "You okay?" Jensen looked a little startled.

"Yes Jared, thank you," Jensen nodded and glanced up at his Possessor. "Are you okay?" He echoed back to him, trying to decipher the man's mood.

"I'm fine." Jared nodded nervously, leaning his cheek against the cool wood. "You going to stay in here or do you want to come out and," he shrugged, "talk to me or something." He pushed his lips into as friendly a smile as he could manage. "It's up to you," he added quickly.

Jensen frowned, looking around the room slowly. "I... forgive me Jared I do not know which would please you more. Would you like to talk?" It was going to be very hard to prove any sort of worth to his Possessor if the man didn't have any direct orders for him to follow. Jensen was unaccustomed to making his own decisions and choices.

"What do you-" Jared interrupted himself before he finished speaking realizing they could end up going in circles if he wasn't careful. "Okay, you and I need to talk, Jensen." Jared pushed the door open. "May I - never mind, come on out in the living room okay?" Spinning quickly Jared headed down the hall to the sofa and sat down on the middle cushion. Jensen could figure out where he wanted to sit.

A small sigh fell from Jensen's lips and he hung his head as he trailed along out of the room and down the hall. They had never prepared him for this outcome. Jensen was made to believe that the Possessor would always be happy to see their Life Companion. Glancing up Jensen spotted Jared on the couch before dropping his gaze once more and shifting in his spot. "What would you like to talk about Jared?"

"So." Jared looked up and noticed Jensen was still standing. "Come and sit down, Jensen." He sighed. There was so much to remember, it was almost like Jensen was afraid to do a single thing unless Jared told him to do it.

"Yes sir," Jensen nodded and crossed to the couch, sitting beside Jared before shaking his head. "I'm sorry, you prefer I call you Jared. I shall try to remember that in the future," Jensen apologized and folded his hands together in his lap.

"Do you want to be here, Jensen?" Jared tilted his head to the side, watching for the slightest hint of emotion on Jensen's face. Looking at Jensen, watching his movements gave Jared no clue how the man was feeling.

Jensen could tell honesty was something very important to his Possessor. Of course, they were always taught to be honest but there was a difference between voicing opinions and voicing facts. On this occasion, Jensen had no facts to recite. Forcing his gaze up, Jensen stared at a point just beyond Jared's shoulders and said quietly, "I have been waiting for my Possessor for longer than the usual Companion waits. So I am pleased to be given the opportunity but I..." Jensen trailed off and looked toward Jared's gaze, seeing only encouragement. "I can tell my presence has not pleased you. So I believe I am... torn." Jensen sighed softly as he finished, retreating to the safety of gazing at the floor.

Surprised at himself, Jared suddenly felt a little protective, mad at himself for making Jensen feel somehow like he wasn't worth Jared's time or energy. "First of all," Jared looked down and impulsively reached out to take Jensen's hand in his. "Your presence is _very_ pleasing." He cleared his throat, searching for the right words. "You are pleasant and... I think you're an attractive man, I'm sure you're very smart and capable."

Nodding slowly Jared thought the next part out very carefully, he was starting to realize that Jensen paid very careful attention to everything that he said. "I would like you to stay for the full trial period so that..." Jared ducked his head down and tried to catch Jensen's gaze, "you and I can get to know each other then we'll _both_ decide if you will stay permanently." He pulled his hand back from Jensen's, smiling slightly at the warmth of his touch. "Does that make you feel a bit better?"

"Yes mas - Jared," Jensen nodded and turned his wrist, staring at his open palm. It did feel better knowing that Jared wasn't completely unhappy with him though the need to prove his worth during the testing period seemed more intense than ever. Looking at Jared under his lashes his whispered softly, "I think you're an attractive man as well."

Heat blossomed on Jared's cheeks again. "Th..thank you." The goofy grin was back on his face again. "Okay, clothes? We can do a few things. You can borrow some of my clothes if you'd like, we can order some in, or we can go out to a store. What would you like to do?" Shifting back on the couch, Jared tried to get comfortable.

"I... I appreciate that you would allow me to borrow your clothes," Jensen said softly as his eyes shot up and dropped. He was doing the action so much his eyes were beginning to get a little sore. "But I do not believe they would fit me. Perhaps... acquiring a few outfits for the thirty days would be best? Then if you decide you would like to keep me..." Jensen trailed off, pursing his lips together. Jensen thought he may have talked more today than he had in the last year and he wondered if it was always like this with a Possessor. Somehow, he didn't think so.

"Okay, you want to look at clothes online and order them in? We could pick out some things together." Jared was conscious of the fact that Jensen had probably experienced more of the outside world in the past few hours than he had at any time in his past.

"You have the internet here?" Jensen looked up, this time leaving his eyes on Jared. "We weren't allowed to go online outside of education purposes," Jensen said quietly. Curiosity was building up in him despite knowing the words might have sounded like a complaint.

"Do you go online often? Will I be doing things online for you?" Jensen pressed and shifted forward on the couch slightly, eager to discover the things he might do to assist Jared.

"I do," Jared laughed softly, "I will be happy to teach you to do some of our shopping and things online if you'd like." Smiling, Jared scooted forward and picked up his computer settling back on the couch with it on his lap. "Get comfy here, so you can see the screen." He patted the couch beside him as he booted up the computer.

Letting the excitement at new technology cover the nerves in him, Jensen slid up against Jared's side, watching as their legs connect knee to hip. Instinctively his eyes shot to Jared and he watched for a sign that the action was less than pleasing. "May I sit like this?" He asked quietly, watching the side of Jared's face illuminated by the computer screen.

Sucking on his bottom lip for a few moments, Jared glanced at Jensen out of the corner of his eye. "I like you sitting there." It was close, and comfortable and warm, and Jared _really_ needed to concentrate on the computer or things were going to get awkward for him any second.

Jared pressed his thumb to the small black square at the edge of the laptop keyboard then tapped the screen a few times and typed in some words. “Okay, now you press your thumb there too.” He watched as Jensen reached over to press his thumb to the scanner then nodded for him to remove it. “Okay, now you can pay for things without me.”

Taking a deep breath, Jared clicked through a few sites until he found a place that he liked to shop for clothes for himself. "Here," he murmured, thought for a few moments then slid the laptop onto Jensen's lap. "You do it, click through and see if there are any clothes you like." He didn't move away, he might have even deliberately let his hand fall to his thigh knowing that it would settle between both of their thighs.

"Okay," Jensen nodded and laid his hands over the computer. It was a standard laptop like the ones he'd used in the Clean Home but much nicer, a fancy black shine, and for the first time Jensen found himself wondering what sort of life Jared lived, if he came from a family of privilege or was simply wise beyond his years. Brows drawing in Jensen peered at the screen, hovering over each image until a button down collared shirt caught his attention.

Jensen's eyes slid over to Jared's clothing, silently contemplating how this shirt would look compared to Jared's. Fitting in with your Possessor was an important thing after all. "Do you like this one?" He asked, reaching out to point at the shirt that had caught his attention. "Not orange though, maybe blue or green?"

"Like your eyes," Jared smiled and pushed his hair back off his forehead. "I like it, just click on it if you want it - my purchase information is already in this site and it's secure." While Jensen was distracted Jared took advantage of the opportunity to watch the man's face. Now that Jensen was doing something, maybe feeling a little useful he was relaxing and it highlighted the distinct look of his features. The man's face had softened a little and Jared wasn't sure, but he thought he'd seen an almost-smile. "Don't forget you need some pants too."

"Jeans?" Jensen suggested and looked at Jared, blinking a few times. "I've never worn jeans before." He turned back to the computer screen and selected the shirt, ordering one in green before going back to the main screen and continuing looking through the shirts. "How many should I purchase Jared?" Jensen asked quietly, looking over at his Possessor once more. He liked the way Jared's features seemed to sharpen when he wasn't smiling then relax and smooth out when he was. Jensen quickly came to the conclusion that he might try and look at the man more often.

Letting his head fall back against the couch, Jared laughed softly, "well, I hate doing laundry so get at least five of them." He reached over and rubbed the white linen of Jensen's shirt sleeve. "I like this material, linen, it's soft." Jensen's arm was warm, radiating heat through the material. "You look good in this, loose and ...well," clearing his throat Jared dropped his hand and looked back at the computer screen.

"I shall search for a shirt in this material," Jensen nodded and narrowed his eyes at the screen. "I am also able to do laundry. I would like too," Jensen added when he thought Jared might protest. Staring at the screen he slowly sorted through until he'd selected four more shirts, half glancing at Jared each time to ensure he agreed with the choice. Moving on to the jeans selection, Jensen asked quietly, "should I order underclothes as well? And... shoes?"

"Yeah." Jared suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. It wasn't like he sat around discussing underwear with his friends. "You," he swallowed, "wear boxers or briefs?" He could feel the fire burning its way up his neck and onto his cheeks. "I wear boxers, not that you asked. The jersey kind, stretchy cotton. They're really soft." Jared's mouth closed quickly as he tried to stop his nervous babble.

"We were only given one type of underwear," Jensen pointed out and stared at the computer as he selected one type of jeans that seemed particularly pleasing on the model that showed them off. "I shall order the kind of you wear, if that's okay." Jensen chose the a package of boxers and input the sizes he’d been given at his last wellness-check then scanned his thumb to complete the order.

Jensen wet his lips slowly, feeling the heat from Jared's body seemingly double with the change in conversation. "Jared? May I... ask you something?"

"Anything, anytime you want to ask me something, feel free, Jensen." Smiling, Jared turned his head slightly so he could see Jensen's face.

"Before, when I first arrived, you said _we_ requested a Life Companion," Jensen frowned, keeping his eyes on the computer screen. It made him uncomfortable to ask questions but it seemed like Jared wanted him too and Jensen was admittedly a little more curious than the average Companion. "What does that mean? Do you not want a Life Companion?" His gaze remained on the jeans displayed before him, hiding the true level of his curiosity.

"Well," Jared lowered his gaze back to the computer screen, "everyone in my family has one. I guess I didn't always like the way they were treated, the way they seemed to feel like they had to blend in to the background and not be noticed. What I think I wanted - want is someone who will be like my equal - you know? Someone, who will challenge me a little, make some decisions, be,” he blew out a quick breath, “someone who will be-" Jared shook his head and waved away the rest of his thoughts.

"You would like someone to love you," Jensen said softly, turning almost completely to stare at Jared in mild surprise. "Did you think you wouldn't find that with your spouse one day? Are you in an arranged marriage?" That was at least something Jensen would need to know. Even if he remained a purely Companion role in Jared's life with nothing physical, a wife was always someone to be aware of.

Licking his lips nervously, Jared picked at a seam on the side of his jeans. "Jensen, can I tell you something?"

"Of course," Jensen said softly, glad to know Jared felt comfortable enough around him already to offer up personal information.

"I don't have any experience with anyone, sexual I mean, you know. So, I'm ... well, I mean I figure, I think I might like men. We don't - we can't, well," Jared sighed, "I didn't really have an opportunity to figure it out. In my family everyone gets Life Companions and I had hoped that a woman, might, well, that I might want her." Shaking his head slowly Jared rubbed a hand across his forehead, wincing when he hit the bruise. "But really, don't be mad. But I think I might kind of like the idea that you're a guy." He looked away, embarrassed and not understanding what had possessed him to suddenly just blurt everything out like that.

 _Comfort_. That was something Jensen had been trained to provide to his Possessor and this seemed like the right moment to give just that. Shifting forward he moved the laptop carefully off his lap, setting it on the table before them and turning to Jared. Thinking back to his lessons, Jensen settled back on the couch and slid an arm around Jared's shoulders, letting his hand curl over Jared's clothing and moving his free hand to Jared's. "It is not unheard of, for a male to have a male Life Companion. We are taught to be with either sex. I... it would please me, to help settle these questions in your mind," he said the words softly, watching Jared's expression for any sign that the touches or suggestions offered were unwanted.

Jared could feel his eyes widening as Jensen slid closer to him. "I, well, sure, maybe- " he coughed, trying to hide the fact that the heat of Jensen's body was _more_ than pleasant. "Maybe," he began again, "when we get to know each other. I don't want. I mean I didn't tell you that so you'd think -" Jared gave up again. He seemed to be doing that a lot with Jensen. It was like all his words got tangled up on the way out. Instead of speaking, he simply threaded his fingers through Jensen's.

Nodding in understanding Jensen squeezed Jared's fingers, possibly relating with Jared more than the man might know. "I always..." he began and frowned, feeling the gentle nudge inside him that said not to speak about personal things battling against Jared's wishes for him to be honest. "During our lessons, I always enjoyed learning more about being with males," he confessed quietly. "I used to believe that was one of the reasons it took so long for me to be given to a Possessor."

Jared's thumb moved slowly over the back of Jensen's hand. "Guess maybe you are the right choice for me then." Jared let a slight smile creep back onto his face as his confidence slowly ebbed back. "Can I ask _you_ a question?"

Jensen smiled softly and nodded, "you may ask me anything at any time."

"What are you and I allowed to do? Physically, I mean." Jared had read the material in the envelope but he still wasn't quite clear about what was off-limits.

"I am allowed to touch your body in sexual ways," Jensen wet his lips, recalling the rules. "We cannot kiss, we cannot have intercourse, and you are not allowed to touch my body in any sexual way." Glancing at Jared and seeing slight confusion he clarified, "you cannot bring me to orgasm with touch."

"Oh." That pretty much laid it all out there. "Okay then. Seems kinda one sided," Jared murmured. Surprisingly, it was the no-kissing rule that he found the most disappointing. His only experience with being kissed by anyone other than family was the night of his birthday when Christian had planted one on him and admittedly, he could see the potential for it to be a quite enjoyable experience. His eyes lingered on Jensen's full lips for a moment. "Are you allowed to," Jared rubbed at the end of his nose, "kiss me anywhere?"

"Besides the lips, yes," Jensen nodded and added quietly, "they see the act of kissing too intimate. On the lips. Of course that changes should you decide I am to stay." Jensen smiled softly at Jared once more, rubbing his shoulder gently beneath his palm.

Jared's mouth felt quite dry. "Too intimate," he echoed, all his attention drawn to the soothing movement of Jensen's fingers on his shoulder. "Okay. Do you have any more questions for me?" Jared blew out a breath and leaned into Jensen's body a little; firm and warm pressed against his side.

Taking a moment to think and enjoy Jared's body pressed against his, Jensen hummed softly. "Does it comfort you when I touch you like this?" He asked quietly, ready to store the information away for later use when needed.

A nervous laugh escaped Jared's lips. "No. Yes. Both. More than just comfort." Biting down on his bottom lip Jared noted how suddenly their roles seemed almost reversed; Jared was on pins and needles and Jensen seemed in his element. "Yes," he repeated more firmly, "it does comfort me."

"Good," Jensen's smile grew brighter and he lifted the hand on Jared's shoulder to gently caress his hair. "Have you just turned eighteen?" He asked curiously, knowing Jared was likely one of those who came from a wealthy family and probably had the Life Companion arrangement from an early age, judging from what he'd mentioned of his family so far.

Jensen's fingers were so gentle, a barely-there touch in Jared's hair that was actually remarkably distracting. "What? Yeah - eighteen...just two weeks ago. How old are you Jensen?" He couldn't help letting his head fall back slightly against Jensen's fingers.

Pressing his fingers more firmly into Jared's hair at seeing his enjoyment of the touch, Jensen responded in his usual soft tone, "twenty two. Happy belated birthday." His eyes lifted slightly to glance around the living room and he asked quietly, "did you just recently move into this apartment then?"

"Yeah, do I need more decorations?" Jared murmured, "or something?" Jared let his head fall back onto Jensen's arm and closed his eyes. "You can change anything you want, I would like that."

At that very moment Jared was having less trouble believing Chad's assertion that having a Life Companion was _awesome_. This, indeed, felt pretty awesome. Jared's fingers twitched in his lap, wanting to touch Jensen and too scared, unsure of what would be considered a _sexual_ touch. Letting his hand slide down his thigh, he gripped his own leg tightly.

"Perhaps we will gather things with time," Jensen whispered, surprised with how much he liked that idea. His eyes slid over Jared's body, noting the subtle flush rising up his neck. Jensen threaded his fingers slowly through Jared's hair, nails scraping gently along the scalp. "You... enjoy this touch as well?" He asked curiously, unlacing his fingers from Jared's and shifting them to lie over the hand curled over Jared's thigh.

Starting as Jensen's hand settled over his Jared opened his eyes and laughed nervously. "Scared me," he muttered looking a little sheepish. "And I do like it very much. Do you? Like it I mean? I wish-" Jared looked down and spread his fingers apart so Jensen's slid down between his.

"I do like it," Jensen admitted, feeling the heat from Jared's thigh beneath the tips of his fingers. "What do you wish?" He asked, wondering if there was more he could be doing to please Jared. Jared's hair felt soft and silky beneath his fingers and the warm, pleased looking on Jared's face stirred up a heat within him.

"Wish that I could touch you back. Will you tell me what I can do? I mean, if there's ever a way you want me to touch you?" Jared could see how quickly things could get out of hand if he wasn't careful. Two young men, healthy desires, alone in the apartment. _God_. Jensen's fingers in his hair, across his scalp were sending shivers down the back of Jared's neck.

Swallowing thickly Jensen nodded, having to work to get the right words to respond. "You can touch me. Just not my... penis." The word felt slightly odd and foreign on his tongue and a wave of heat coursed through him just saying it out loud. Blushing, Jensen dropped his gaze, meaning to look at his lap but finding himself stuck on the sight of his fingers over Jared's on his thigh. "Will you tell me? When you might like me to touch you as well?"

Nodding mutely, Jared slid his hand out from under Jensen's and slowly moved it to the soft white material of Jensen's thigh. "I'm shaking," Jared huffed out a small laugh and curled his fingers into the white linen of Jensen's trouser leg. "I've never touched anyone like this."

"Neither have I," Jensen whispered, though he knew Jared would already have known this.

The feel of Jensen's thigh below his palm was sending a pleasant thrill through Jared's body. "You. You can do whatever you want to me." A smile twitched on and off Jared's face quickly.

Jensen could feel his blush deepening. His mind reeled with the idea of touching, that always simmering curiosity bubbling up. Leaning slowly forward Jensen pressed his lips gently to the skin just below Jared's ear, the touch tingling along his senses. _This_ had been something Jensen had almost been impatient to experience. To kiss someone, even if it wasn't their lips, to touch them and feel that connection. Jensen's lips hovered inches from Jared's skin, inhaling the almost sweet scent of his Possessor while his fingers continued their gentle stroke through his hair and the hand on Jared's thigh squeezed.

"Jensen." Jared's jeans were getting tight, uncomfortable across his crotch. Shifting his hips up slightly he tried to reposition himself, ease the ache. "Jensen, we should-" he tried hard to get the world _stop_ to come out of his mouth but Jensen's lips on the sensitive skin of his neck followed only by the sweet torture of the man's warm breath stole all his thoughts away.

Jensen's touches hesitated, hands stilling as he pulled back slightly. "I am sorry Jared; you wished to wait to decide if you wanted-" Jensen frowned, slightly disappointed with himself and oddly surprised by how _much_ he wanted to continue. "Should I return to searching for clothing?" He asked softly, not pulling his hands away until Jared told him too.

Blinking, Jared found himself suddenly a little bleary-eyed and weak. "I, what ... what did I wish to wait for?" Confused, he pulled his hand back gently. "Did I do something wrong?" Turning so he was facing Jensen he moved as if to set his fingers along Jensen's cheek then let his hand fall back into his lap.

Glancing down at his hand still on Jared's thigh and catching the obvious arousal straining against Jared's jeans, Jensen swallowed and tried to rethink things. "Before, you said you would like to get to know me before anything happened. I... would like to continue this but I do not want to push you into anything you do not want." He resumed stroking soothingly through Jared's hair, wanting to replace the slight confusion in his eyes with pleasure once more.

"I - maybe I was wrong. A few hours ago I didn't know if you belonged here and now, you’re touching me, and the _way_ it feels is..." All Jared could feel was heat flooding through his body. "Touch me," he whispered, averting his eyes. "Please."

Jensen's breath quickened in response and he shifted on the couch, sliding his hand on Jared's thigh further up. Leaning in once more he pressed a soft kiss to Jared's neck, lingering against the skin as his wrist turned and his fingers brushed along the front of Jared's crotch. "Like this?" He asked, noting how his voice seemed deeper than it had been moments before. He let his fingers press a little surer into the hard line, working a gentle massage down.

Jared sucked in a sharp breath as his hips moved up into Jensen's touch. "Y..Yes," he murmured, sliding down on the couch slightly and spreading his legs trying to ease the pressure. His head rolled to the side, eyes darting up to Jensen's face. "God," he reached up and brushed the backs of his fingers across Jensen's flushed cheek. The man's skin was smooth and fiery hot and Jared's hips started a gentle roll as his tongue darted out to wet his lips.

Leaning slightly into Jared's touch on his cheek, Jensen moved his hand up to pop the button on Jared's jeans. Dipping forward once more he opened his mouth slightly to form a circle over Jared's neck, dragging his tongue along the smooth pad of flesh.

Jensen listened to the way Jared's breath was picking up speed, how the heat in him was growing stronger. Dragging the zipper down Jensen shifted back enough to allow Jared room to spread his legs wider. "May I touch... beneath your clothing?" Jensen asked against his skin, brushing the back of his knuckles over Jared's cock, feeling the cotton slid along his skin.

Slipping his hand over Jensen's wrist, Jared stilled the man's hand. "Jensen," his voice was gruff. "You don't have to do this, only if - if you like it as well and you'll tell me what you want." He let his fingers curl around Jensen's neck tugging him forward slightly then remembering he couldn't kiss him. "I can... can I? What can I do for you?" His thoughts were racing at about the same pace as his heart. His muscles were trembling with the strain of trying to hold still. It was so close to being _too much_ that it almost felt painful.

Jensen chuckled softly at Jared's over excitement and shook his head, "just sit back and enjoy this. I want to make you feel good." Finally pulling his hand from Jared's hair he curled his fingers along each side of Jared's pants and tugged, lifting the denim and cotton over Jared's red swollen flesh and pulling down to his thighs. "Will you tell me if it no longer feels good?" Jensen murmured, pulling back to fix his gaze of his Possessor as the tip of his index finger ran up along the underside of Jared's cock.

Moaning softly Jared nodded, vaguely registering that he'd been asked a question. Releasing his hold on Jensen's wrist, Jared's hand fell back to the other man's thigh. He wanted to touch more of him, feel his body, his back, and slide his hands over the sides of his body. As Jensen's fingers slid up the sensitive skin on his cock Jared's hands fell to the couch, pushing up slightly as though he could follow the touch.

Dropping his gaze Jensen watched as his fingers curled along the base of Jared's cock, stroking up slow. The flesh felt hard and burning against his palm, possibly the most intense thing Jensen had ever experienced, and Jensen bit down on his bottom lip. Fingers sliding slowly up Jensen ran the pad of his thumb over the slit, smearing the dollop of precome along the red flesh. Jared's body was moving in a gentle rocking motion into the touches and Jensen shifted along the couch, sliding back slightly before gently dipping down. His eyes shifted up along Jared's chest, snapping back to the hard flesh coming closer to his lips. Wetting his lips, Jensen inhaled sharply before flicking his tongue out to trail along the smeared liquid over burning flesh.

The touch of Jensen's tongue, slight and barely-there sent a pulse of heat through Jared's body. Reaching down Jensen's body Jared's broad hand fell hard against the heat of Jensen's back. Slipping his fingers down, Jared slipped them under the hem of Jensen's shirt and slid his hand up the man's bare flesh. It was overwhelming, the sensation of feeling bare flesh under his palm, smooth and hot, slightly damp. His hips jerked forward, seeking out _more_ as his free hand slid over the back of Jensen's head. His Companion's hair was soft, silky and light in his fingers almost liquid the way it fell through his grasp.

Taking Jared's response as a good sign Jensen repeated the swipe of his tongue, longer this time, rolling the taste along the inside of his mouth and moaning softly. He could feel his own arousal straining against the thin fabric of his pants but he pushed the heat away, focusing in on Jared's flesh. Lips parting Jensen formed a loose circle over the tip of Jared's cock, sucking gently, moaning once more at the taste. _Jared_. It was all better than he'd imagined and Jensen found himself reacting naturally, hardly needing to recall the lessons on how to perform the most pleasing form of oral sex. Jared's flesh filled his mouth, rested heavy against his tongue, and Jensen sucked harder.

Jared's head fell back against the couch, his lips parted as unfamiliar noises seemed to just fall out of his mouth. Jensen's mouth was soft, wet, silky-smooth and the heat was something Jared had never even imagined. It was all-consuming and he could feel himself already giving in to the orgasm swelling within him. "Jensen.." His nails dug into his Companion's back. "I - should I, if I come?" Jensen's tongue swirled around the head of his cock and Jared gasped as his body arched up off the couch, twitching and writhing with pleasure.

Some part of Jensen's mind registered the words and he wrapped his fingers along the base of cock once more, continuing a steady stroke as he pulled back enough to glance up at Jared. "I... would like you to come in my mouth," he whispered, blushing at the words before dropping back down.

Jensen sucked Jared's hard flesh back into his mouth, lapping at the skin with gentle slides, fingers tightening along the skin and stroking up to meet his mouth. Jensen's body twisted slightly on the couch and he gave in to the urge to drop his hand low beneath his body, imagining the wide hand on his back instead of his own pressing into his cock and rubbing through the fabric. Jensen moaned along Jared's flesh, eyes fluttering closed as pleasure coursed through him.

The moan sent a gentle vibration down Jared's swollen cock and he shuddered, hips rocking up into Jensen's mouth. He tried to hold back, worried about hurting Jensen but he was only half aware of what he was even doing. Falling to the side slightly his hand slipped over Jensen's body and curled hard into his hip, fingers rubbing the heat of the other man's body. _God_ he wanted. He wanted Jensen's lips on his, wanted to be able to touch more of the man's body with his hands.

Moaning Jared gasped in a final breath before something snapped alight within him and his orgasm slammed into him without warning. His swollen cock pulsed hard, almost painfully and he came, shooting his release into the sweet mouth that moved over his flesh.

The first shot of come along his tongue surprised Jensen and he almost pulled back before forcing himself to relax, suck with more force to swallow everything Jared had to offer. The taste was salty, slightly bitter, but the fact that _he_ had brought Jared to this point made everything blindingly hot. A small wave of pride built in him and he sucked along Jared's flesh until the man grew limp, gently releasing and shifting to press a kiss to his Possessor's hipbone.

Jensen was so turned on it almost hurt to shift up on the couch but he forced himself to pull back enough to gently tug Jared's pants and boxers up, ensuring the man wouldn't grow cold. A blush was lingering along his cheeks and his eyes slowly rose to Jared's flushed face. "That was pleasing?" He whispered, reaching out to softly caress Jared's jaw line.

Slack-jawed and panting softly Jared simply reached up and grabbed Jensen's neck pulling the man forward. Jensen turned at the last second and Jared's lips landed on his Companion's cheek. Moving his mouth gently he kissed Jensen, he'd never kissed anyone and was sure it was too wet and clumsy. His mouth moved slowly down his Companion's face, lingering at the side of his mouth _nearly_ close enough to take the man's lips. Dragging his lips down over Jensen's neck, nosing under the collar of his shirt he sucked gently on the other man's collar bone. Jensen's flesh was slightly salty, warm under his tongue.

"Jared..." Jensen murmured, the name a half moan as Jared's lips slid along his skin and sent little jolts of pleasure through him. Rolling back slightly, Jensen's arm wrapped around Jared's body to pull him close, free hand shoving roughly under his pants to curl around his own flesh. For the first time in his existence Jensen found himself seriously contemplating breaking Purity rules, lying to the doctor who would come to inspect him after thirty days, he wanted Jared's hand on his flesh. But that wasn't something he could bring himself to do so he let his head roll back into the couch cushion, pace of strokes along his cock growing.

Tugging roughly at Jensen's shirt Jared slid his hands under it, shoving them up along Jensen's firm abs then over his chest. "Jensen, you're - you feel _so_ good." Swallowing, Jared gasped in a shuddering breath, "wait, wait, can you.. are you allowed to sit on my lap?" Jared's flesh was blazing with heat his blood still racing as his body tried to calm down.

Jensen's head shot up, eyes wide as he stared at Jared. He had to swallow thickly to gain control of the desire to crush his lips against Jared's, heart hammering hard in his chest as he planted a hand against Jared's body and pushed him back into the sofa. Moving swiftly he threw a leg over Jared's lap, sliding easily across, moaning softly as the fabric of his pants pressed down into erection. His shirt was already half off so he reached up to pull it up and over his head, tossing it to the side before sliding his hand once more beneath his waist line. Jensen's body curled forward slightly into Jared's, the back of his hand shoving roughly at his pants until he could pull himself free, fingers tightening along the base. Jensen felt like his mind, the whole situation, was a little out of his control, like he was acting on some primal level never explained to him.

Jared's hands were shaking as he lifted them and let them slide down Jensen's back. He was muscular, solid beneath Jared's hands. The heat radiating off him surprised Jared and he moaned softly. Just watching Jensen touch himself, feeling the man swaying in his arms was almost as hot as his mouth on Jared's cock. Moving slowly, Jared slid his hands down over the small of his Companion's back and curved them over the man's ass. Groaning with pleasure already shooting through him again he dug his fingers hard into Jensen's muscular flesh and leaned forward to suck and lick his way along the man's jaw.

It was almost like torture, to be so close to being touched by Jared and yet not. Everywhere his Possessor's lips and tongue traveled along his flesh adding to the pleasure and the curve of fingers into his ass had his hips snapping forward. Jensen's free hand shot out to tug at Jared's shirt, urging the man to pull the material up over his head. Once Jared's shirt had joined his own across the couch Jensen's hand was wrapping around his Possessor's neck, bringing them as flush together possible, the tip of Jensen's cock grazing Jared's abs and making him moan low in his throat. Jensen's head tipped back to grant Jared's lips more access and he gasped a quiet, "Jared," as his orgasm began to pool low in his belly.

" _God_ , Jensen," Jared's murmured his Companion's name into the crook of the man's neck. He bit down hard on Jensen's neck, sucking the skin into his mouth. His hands moved everywhere he could reach. Jensen's back was smooth and slick with sweat. Jared couldn’t get enough and the urgency of his movements increased. "Jensen, come. I want - I want to know." God, he wanted to know that this was as good for Jensen as it had been for him. He'd never wanted to touch someone more in his life. Leaning back slightly he watched Jensen's face, the changing emotions there, the hot red flush of his cheeks.

Biting down hard on his lower lip seemed to be the only thing that kept Jensen from falling forward into Jared's lips. His hips snapped toward Jared's body, pulse quickening, vision blurring as pleasure burned through him. Head falling back once more Jensen let out a long moan of his Possessor’s name as his orgasm rocked through him, come covering his hand, up to his chest, onto Jared's. Jensen kept his hand working in quick strokes as he rode out his orgasm, writhing on Jared's lap constantly until the last of his release ebbed off.

Collapsing forward, Jensen's lips barely bypassed Jared's, pressing into the corner of his mouth before he buried his face into Jared's neck, shoulders shaking slightly from the intensity.

Rubbing Jensen's back gently, soothing, Jared murmured to him. Just words, things that didn't have to make sense - his name, _it's okay_ , gentle words. Sliding his cheek against Jensen's he turned and tried to reach the man's lips. "Kiss me," he whispered.

A soft sigh fell from Jensen's lips, mouth turning to graze along Jared's cheek. "I can't," he murmured, regretting that it was true. "I want too. But the trial." Jensen dipped to press another kiss along Jared's neck.

"Please, Jensen." Jared's fingers slid up to tighten once more in the soft curls at the nape of his Companion's neck. "I need it." Trembling, he pressed as close as he could to Jensen's body.

Jensen's heart clenched, torn between two very different things. He hated that he couldn't give Jared what he wanted but he had no skills for lying and the doctor would _know_ if Jensen even tried to pretend that it hadn't happened. Squeezing Jared in a tight hug Jensen sighed once more before climbing slowly off him and tucking himself back inside his pants. "I'm sorry Jared the penalties for breaking the rules are too great. I can't." He shook his head and reached across the couch for his clean shirt, turning back to Jared to use it to wipe along his chest at the cooling come.

Jared pushed Jensen's hand away. "It's okay, I can do it." Snatching his own shirt off the couch he wiped his chest clean. It was stupid to be hurt, to feel this kind of rejection over something he already _knew_ before he even asked. "I'm gonna go have a shower, please,” he stood up and smiled weakly at Jensen, "make yourself at home."

Moving quickly down the hallway Jared slipped into his room and fell back against the door, swearing under his breath. Jensen had been here less than twelve hours and Jared had already screwed things up.

Pressing his lips together Jensen looked down at the dirty shirt in his hand. He had been trying to please Jared but it seemed he only upset him once more. And now the only clothes he had were ruined so he'd be stuck shirtless until he could figure something else out. So far, Jensen didn't think he was doing a very good job at being a Companion. Sighing softly Jensen pushed off the couch and made his way to the kitchen to begin washing his shirt.


	3. Chapter 3

Jared wasn't quite sure how he ended up in the mess he was in. For the past few years he'd been pretty certain that he had a good idea what he would and wouldn't do with his Life Companion. Now, he suddenly found himself barely a day into their arrangement and feeling like a fish out of water.

After Jared had _idiotically_ let himself be driven by his desire to be touched - and _God_ it was good. He'd been ashamed of himself. It wasn't that he didn't feel anything for Jensen because he did, there was something sweet and gentle about Jensen that made Jared trust him almost immediately. But things had gone from uncomfortable to really hot and then to even more uncomfortable and Jared didn't know how to act anymore.

They had ended their first day together moving politely around each other, Jensen made dinner, Jared thanked him. They ordered the rest of Jensen's clothes and Jared lent him a few t-shirts to wear. When he finally couldn't take the tension anymore Jared apologized and went to bed, hiding in his room until he finally fell asleep.

The shift between them was obvious and Jensen spent a good deal of his first night in his new home wide awake. He sat in the middle of his bed with his leg crossed, staring at the strips of moonlight coming in through the window.

Unlike the Clean Homes, Jared's apartment was close enough to the city to hear late night traffic, and though most people were simply heading from one place to another, not lingering on the streets, it seemed like a constant bubble of noise, and Jensen felt oddly lost. It was unnerving to spend your entire life safely secluded inside a protected shelter, only to be released to a place that came with challenges and difficulties, with emotions and conflicts and _feelings_.

Jensen was confused and admittedly a little scared, and he wished things might have gone a little smoother if only because Jared might have let them share a bed. This room was so large and empty and more than a dozen times he nearly got up to go to Jared's room but he lost his nerve. Instead he woke early and prepared breakfast, taking a wild stab at what Jared might want to eat and hoping things would be a little better between them.

The kitchen was so clean and nearly sparkled from the stain steel. Jensen figured it was like most homes now, easy to keep clean, speaking of wealth and security. There was a wide collection of pots and pans – that didn’t look used – and a whole cabinet of spices.

Jensen took his time learning the packets of food, cataloguing the items he thought might be good to purchase, assuming he hadn’t completely damaged everything between himself and his Possessor. When he felt slightly more comfortable with the space he pressed the small button on the stove top to heat the electrical pad.

-=-=-=-

Morning came entirely too early as far as Jared was concerned. He'd tossed and turned until the early hours and then slept restlessly. When he awoke to the smell of breakfast, he felt like he hadn't slept a wink. Pulling on his sweats and an old hoodie he padded out into the hallway and peered around the doorway into the kitchen. "Hi," he said. Jensen was still wearing his white pants but had switched his shirt for one that Jared had lent him. It was kind of endearing the way it hung off his shoulders.

"Good morning Jared," Jensen glanced over at him before turning back to the frying pain. "I made scrambled eggs and toast and put on a pot of coffee. Would you like anything more or different?" Jensen stole another look at his Possessor, watching him shuffle in loose clothing, hair sticking up in odd angles from sleep. It brought a slight smile to his face and he dropped his eyes to watch the eggs cook.

"That's just fine, thanks." Jared rubbed at his eyes and slid onto one of the stools at the counter. "You sleep okay?" He had his suspicions that Jensen had probably had a rough night too. He'd wondered about how strange it would feel to be away from home, and everything he'd ever known.

Dishing the food out on the plate Jensen considered lying to keep Jared from worrying but figured it would do no good. "Not really. But I'm sure I will adjust," he nodded with a confidence he wasn't too sure of, carrying the plate around the counter to set in front of Jared. Biting down on his lip Jensen reached out and slid his fingers through Jared's sleep ruffled hair, letting it card slowly along his skin. "Did you sleep okay?" He asked quietly, noticing Jared still looked mostly exhausted.

Jared pulled away slightly. "No, I hardly slept at all." Feeling like he should get his ass back to his bedroom before he did anything else stupid he concentrated on trying to stay at the counter. "Have a seat." He gestured to the chair across from his and pushed it out so Jensen would sit down. It was almost painful feeling that touch again.

Jensen's hand hovered in mid air for a moment, face flaming red with an odd twist of shame and rejection. Slowly he turned and pulled the chair out, sliding it an appropriate amount of distance away before dropping down obediently. Truthfully all Jensen wanted to do was go and hide for awhile but another part of him wanted to find the Jared he had so briefly glimpsed the day before and everything just seemed to _confusing_. "What plans do you have for the day Jared?" He asked quietly, eyes fixed on the counter.

Jared took a few bites of egg and chewed slowly. "I need to go and see Chad. There's... this thing we have to do." Staring at his eggs Jared sighed. "Is there anything I can do to help you sleep? Do you want me to get you some music for your room?" He looked up only to find Jensen's head down, eyes averted. "It's your room so you can do what you want." He shrugged and pushed his eggs around on his plate.

It wasn't lost on Jensen that he wasn't included in the day's events and he briefly wondered if anyone even knew that he was here. Or at least that he was a man and not the expected female. Jensen's emotions were betraying him, a big swirl of things he couldn't name, anger for allowing himself to be so affected, and he forced his mind to focus on Jared's question. "I'm okay. Thank you," he bobbed his head in a half nod, memorizing the patterns along the counter top.

Nodding Jared ate a few more mouthfuls of egg. The silence was uncomfortable and Jared knew that it was his fault. Jensen seemed to have woken up with a determination to make things work. Jared just woke up feeling like an idiot.

"Jensen... I'm sorry." He dropped his fork accidentally and it clattered loudly against his plate. "About yesterday, I was out of line. It won't happen again. I just want you to know that it was nothing you did wrong." He kept his eyes on his fork, flicking at it with his finger.

 _It won't happen again._ Jensen wondered what that was referring to, praying it wasn't to the touching thing but with the way Jared reacted to him touching his hair... Nodding slowly Jensen tightened his fingers harder over his knees. "It's okay Jared," he said quietly and glanced up enough to watch the place Jared continued to touch his fork. "Would you like some coffee? Or juice?" Jensen didn't like seeing Jared upset like this but wasn’t uncertain what could be done to make it better.

"You don't have to wait on me, Jensen." Jared shifted on the stool, softening his voice when he spoke. "I don't expect you to be my servant or anything. Just hang out, get used to the place. You can use the laptop whenever you want. I'll get you one, if you'd like one I mean." Jared was trying to think of things that would occupy Jensen's time, make him feel like he belonged there a little. "Maybe I'll get you your own computer today while Chad and I are out - then we don't have to share... like we did..." he waved the rest of the sentence away. Because really? What he was thinking was that he wouldn't be able to stand sitting that close to Jensen again and _not_ touching him. Jared had turned out to be just as bad as the people he'd always criticized. The ones who used their Companions for physical pleasure.

"If you'd like," Jensen nodded, fidgeting in his seat. He didn't want to upset Jared by standing once more but sitting here like this was too much. He needed something to do with his hands, something to get his mind off things. Pushing up from the chair he moved back around to the stove to clean up the dishes used for Jared's breakfast, swiping his hand over the automatic water faucet to get the water running, quickly scrubbing the pan clean and loading it in the dishwasher. When he finished he turned back toward Jared, blinking down at the ground. "Is there anything I can do for you today while you're out Jared?" He wanted to ask about Chad, how they were friends, what they would be doing, but it was safer and more familiar to slip back into the role he'd been trained and raised to be.

" _God_ , Jensen. Just hangout, surf the web, listen to music." Jared stood, blowing out a breath as he tried to get his temper under control. None of this was Jensen's fault; he was just doing what he'd been trained to do. "Just, get used to the place. The hot tub is nice. I won't be gone long. Don't worry about doing things for me." Jared turned and headed off down the hallway feeling like he'd just kicked a puppy. Everything in him wanted to turn back around and gather Jensen up into his arms and reassure him, tell him that things would be okay somehow. Instead, he went back to his bedroom to call Chad.

Jensen stared at the doorway, tears pricking along his eyes. He wasn't even sure he knew how to do things like _surf the web_ and _hangout_. The only music they'd been allowed to listen to was soothing classical from more than a couple centuries ago. And, though the hot tub sounded appealing, he certainly wasn't going to be climbing into Jared's personal hot tub _naked_.

Blinking slowly Jensen looked around the kitchen, trying to pick something to do that wouldn't further upset Jared. He dumped the coffee down the sink, washing the pot slowly, putting it back. At some point Jared might have left but he didn't check and see. Instead he walked quietly back down the hall to his bedroom, looking around the perfectly clean and sterile room. With a soft sigh he crossed to the window and leaned against it, staring out at the currently vacant street, trying desperately hard to tell himself that he wasn't the absolute _worst_ Life Companion in the history of Purity.

-=-=-=-

Chad picked Jared up about fifteen minutes after they got off the phone. He'd wanted to come up and meet Jensen but Jared headed him off at the pass and met him as he pulled up outside the building. Jared had only been in the car about three minutes when he started spilling every detail of what had gone on since Jensen had arrived. True to his word, Chad didn't even flinch when he heard about the whole _touching_ episode on the sofa. Chad did, however, punch Jared really hard in the shoulder and tell him he was a moron.

After about an hour of listening to Chad, Jared was just about ready to throw himself in the nearest river. He'd pretty much done everything wrong. Chad said that Jared was eighteen and eighteen year olds were _supposed_ to get turned on when hot people touched them. He also called Jared a selfish prick for pulling away from Jensen when all they'd done was something that was completely natural.

Chad had called Jared a lot of names by the time they had finished their drinks at the juice bar and Jared was convinced he deserved most of them. Right before he dropped Jared off at his apartment, he said something that stuck with Jared. Chad pointed out that for someone who tried to do things so _right_ Jared was really screwing up a lot. He said that anyone would be really lucky to have Jared to care about them and that he should just go back upstairs and get to _know_ Jensen before he wrote the poor guy off.

With Chad's words still swimming in his mind Jared let himself back into the apartment. He kicked off his shoes and had a quick look around. Jensen was nowhere to be found which meant he'd probably spent most of the day so far in his room. Prior to that realization, Jared had thought he couldn't feel any worse. It turned out, he was wrong.

Padding down the hallway he stopped outside Jensen's door took a few deep breaths and knocked quietly.

The knock, however quiet, startled Jensen and he turned, blinking a few times to clear the light from his eyes. He'd completely lost track of time, doing what he’d always done to pass the time in his room in the Clean Home, telling himself stories he’d read from books, remembering the way they smelt and watching whoever might be crossing the street below. Wondering vaguely how long Jared had been gone, Jensen took a half step away from the window and cleared his throat. "Come in."

Jared opened the door and peered in. "Hey, can I come in and talk to you?" His throat felt tight, fingers gripping tight on the edge of the door.

"Of course," Jensen nodded swiftly, stepping further away from the window. "Did your day go well Jared?" He asked quietly, timidly, not wanting a repeat performance of the morning's conversation.

Something about the way Jensen's face looked made Jared's heart flutter unpleasantly in his chest. "I..." Jared couldn't stand the way that Jensen just stood there, like he was terrified to say or do anything. It was entirely Jared's fault that his Companion was so uncomfortable. Closing the distance between them quickly Jared pulled Jensen into his arms and pressed him against his chest. His hands fit easily on the curve of Jensen's back and the nape of his neck, like they'd held each other hundreds of times. "I'm sorry," he whispered into Jensen's soft hair.

Blinking in a moment of surprise, Jensen frowned slightly before lifting his arms and wrapping them around Jared's back, squeezing tightly. "You don't have to be sorry," he whispered, pleased to feel the warm flesh against his body. Jensen liked the way Jared's body fit against him, the way his hair slid so softly between his fingers, the warmth of his body under a thin layer of fabric. "I apologize too Jared, I should have known better," Jensen murmured, pressing his palm more firmly into Jared's back.

Pressing his lips together Jared tightened his arms briefly then pulled back a little. Ducking his head down so he could meet Jensen's eyes, Jared smiled. "Can we talk about things?"

"Yes," Jensen nodded, already missing the heat of Jared's body pressed so firmly against his. He dropped his hands to his sides, watching Jared. "Would you like to sit?" He glanced over at the bed then back at Jared.

Nodding Jared moved over and sat down on the bed pulled his leg up so he could sit sideways and watch Jensen's face. In the midst of all the chaos of the past twenty-four hours he already knew that he liked looking at Jensen, watching his features change so subtly. He dragged a hand down his face and waited to speak until Jensen was sitting next to him.

"I wanted you to touch me yesterday." Jared looked down, nervous, wondering how many times he would get to apologize and offer up excuses before Jensen would just give up. "I wanted it and Jensen, it was _so_ much more than I expected. I wasn't ready for that... for it to feel so good." The all-too-familiar flush was creeping back up Jared's neck.

Closing his eyes for a few moments Jared chose each word carefully. "When you wouldn't kiss me, I was hurt and I _know_ I shouldn't have been. I _know_ you were following the rules. But-" Jared shrugged, remembering Chad's words. "I'm young and this is all really confusing and I’m kind of socially stupid. Don't know how to handle things like this."

Opening his eyes again Jared smiled sadly at Jensen. "I promise... to tell you the truth from now on - about how I'm feeling and when I'm confused but I need you to do the same. Will you do that? No matter how you think it might make me feel?" Finally he met Jensen's gaze, his expression softening.

"I... I promise to tell you when I feel confused," Jensen nodded, glancing up to meet Jared's eyes so his Possessor would know he wasn't lying in any way. "I understand how new this is to you. Plus with the added confusion of my presence yesterday, I believe feeling overwhelmed by the situation is expected."

Jensen hesitated for another moment before reaching out and patting Jared's hand. If Jared continued to apologize like this Jensen wasn't sure what he was going to do, it seemed impossible to make his Possessor understand that Jensen was in no way upset with him.

Jared's brow furrowed at the touch, and he quickly flipped his hand so that their palms were together and he could curl his fingers around Jensen's. "I didn't mean I want to go backwards. Listen." Jared ran a hand through his hair, frustrated, "I can't do the - any of that sexual stuff. It just makes me want more,” he sighed, “but I don't want to _not_ touch you." Scratching at his forehead for a few moments, Jared laughed softly. "I like this." He squeezed Jensen's hand slightly. "I like touching you and if you like it..." The slow burn slid up over his cheeks and Jared rubbed at them with the palm of his hand as though he could get rid of the flush. "If you like touching me, can we keep doing that?"

A small smile played across Jensen’s lips and he squeezed Jared’s hand firmly, “I enjoy touch… with you. You must tell me if I touch in a way that unsettles you, please?” Jensen felt immensely relieved that Jared was giving him another chance and he definitely didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that. Jared was a very sweet and caring Possessor and Jensen knew this though he had only been in his company for a day. It seemed like no matter what happened this would be a man he wouldn’t mind being bound to for the rest of his life. Jensen resolved to continue to show Jared he was worth keeping around and hopefully, now that they’d talked, things would get better.

Jared's smile grew and he sat back a little getting more comfortable. "Alright, so let's start today over." Grinning Jared flopped back on Jensen's immaculately made bed and wriggled around teasingly as he messed it up. "Tell me how you slept, Jensen."

Turning slightly to watch Jared move, Jensen's eyes fixed on the writhe of his hips for a moment before he quickly looked back down at his hands. "I... had some trouble sleeping last night. But I am confident I will adjust. How did you sleep, Jared?" Jensen's fingers itched to straighten out his blanket once more but he stuffed the urge down. Instead he flopped back on the mattress beside Jared, staring up at the ceiling.

"Terrible," Jared answered quickly. "I felt horrible about what had happened. You know," he smiled, "I almost came over here once to, well, I'm not sure what I thought I would do." Dropping his eyes for a few moments Jared thought about how he'd never felt lonely in his apartment until Jensen was shut in the room across the hall. Taking a deep breath he tucked his arm under Jensen's pillow and got comfortable. "What did you think about while you were in here last night?"

Rolling slightly Jensen hesitated for a moment before reaching out and laying his hand on Jared's chest, waiting for a moment to see if that would be an unwelcome touch. When Jared didn't brush him away Jensen pressed his palm firmer and crooked his arm under his head to use as a pillow. "I thought about my Clean Home. How different it was compared to here. I thought about you," Jensen shifted forward slightly, leg sliding along the blanket until it came to rest against Jared's. "I thought about what future we might have." Jensen sighed softly, spreading his fingers wide on Jared's chest.

"What was your Clean Home like?" Jared turned his head slightly, watching Jensen's eyes. He moved so gracefully, like every move was planned and deliberate, fluid. Jared could spend a lot of time watching him. Worrying his bottom lip between his teeth Jared slid his hand over Jensen's where it rested on his chest.

"Clean," Jensen said, managing to keep a straight face for a full minute before laughter bubbled up in him.

The laughter caught Jared off guard, Jensen's face broke into a broad smile and Jared couldn't help chuckling softly. His Companion's face changed dramatically, his eyes sparkled, his features softened as his grin spread and Jared could feel his heart flutter in a much more pleasant way. " _God_ ," he sighed, "you have the best laugh." It made Jared feel happy, nervous, and shy all at the same time.

Jensen smiled, a blush coloring his cheeks as his eyes dropped. "Thank you. I realized that clean would be an obvious description." A small sigh fell from Jensen's lips and he shifted forward until his forehead could press against Jared's upper arm. "It is very peaceful in the Clean Homes. Everyone speaks in whispers. We spend a lot of time reading. It's... not a very social place but it teaches you to appreciate the company of just one person at a time. It teaches you many things," Jensen smiled slightly, feeling the prick of nostalgia as he thought of his old home.

"Do you miss it?" Jared lowered his voice, somehow feeling like they were sinking into their own little world. He took another deep breath. The subtle scent of Jensen's hair wafted toward him and he turned a little more, wanting to learn it, memorize it.

"I suppose I will at times," Jensen opened and closed his fingers slowly around Jared's, enjoying the warmth of his touch. "But my excitement for finally getting the opportunity to be a Life Companion outweighs that. Do you miss your family's home?"

"Not really, I mean... I miss my sister a lot. We were the closest. My Mom," Jared laughed, "can be kind of overbearing but I love her. Dad is great." He smiled and squeezed Jensen's hand. "I guess you have no brothers and sisters?" It would be so strange to grow up without a family, the constant buzz of conversation, distant music, the squabbles and the laughter.

"Some would say, we are related. The Pure." Jensen smiled softly and shifted the arm under his head until he could lean on his elbow and stare down at Jared. "Will I be meeting your family? Have you told them that I am not... what was to be expected," Jensen's smile fell slightly, concerned that Jared's family might give his Possessor grief about having a male Life Companion.

"I haven't spoken to anyone yet," Jared sighed. "Chad knows, he said I was a prick." Laughing, Jared shifted a little and pulled his fingers loose so he could lift his arm up; he looked down at Jensen, eyebrows raised. "Can... can I put my arm around you?" A shiver of anxiety ran down Jared's back and he held his breath for a moment.

Soft smile returning Jensen nodded and stared up at his with Possessor, "I would like that. I would like you to feel comfortable touching me whenever you would like."

Tucking his arm under Jensen's head Jared let his Companion settle against his side. "So... you'd let your Possessor touch you even if you didn't like them I guess, huh?" Jared's smile wavered. How did people ever know that their Companion's actually _liked_ being with them.

"I would have to." Jensen laid his head against Jared's shoulder and shifted his arm across his chest, fingers moving along the fabric. "We're supposed to do whatever the Possessor wishes. We're bred for this." Tilting his head up slightly, Jensen considering Jared's jaw and the side of his face he could see. "You're one of those people who don’t like Purity, correct? If you had been given a choice, you would never have purchased a Companion?"

"Well, can't say I think it's right for someone to be owned." Jared couldn't stop the doubt gnawing at him. "Let me go back for a minute... so... if you _didn't_ like this, me touching you, you'd still do it?" His mouth went dry and he turned back to stare at the ceiling.

"I would, but Jared," Jensen pushed up enough to gaze into Jared's features, trying to meet his eyes. "Companions do not lie. Ever. I will never lie to you when you ask if I like a particular touch or... anything. It will always be the truth," he pressed his fingers harder into Jared's chest, willing him to believe his truth.

"How will I ever know though?" Jared's brows drew together, "do you like this? Would you rather I not hold you? You've never met anyone else have you - how do you know you want me to?" Jared's mind was spinning with possibilities.

Frown deepening, Jensen sorted through Jared's questions in his mind, "why would I want anyone else? I was chosen for you. Out of thousands of Companions they picked me for you." Jensen shook his head, features scrunching together. "Jared, it will never be my life to choose anyone else. You... you will have that choice. You will marry, fall in love, and I will remain here with you by your side. I _want_ to be by your side. I've been waiting my whole life for this time."

Huffing out a breath Jared tightened his hold on Jensen's shoulders. "Why don't you deserve that? What if there's someone out there that you could fall in love with?" Jared leaned his cheek against Jensen's hair and rubbed it gently against the silken strands.

Tightening his fingers in Jared's shirt Jensen sighed once more. It was becoming clear to Jensen that his Possessor was seeing the life of a Companion through very different eyes. "Jared... I'm not a slave. I know some people prefer to use on those terms but that’s not what we are. I was born _because_ of Purity. This - it's not a punishment. It is my _life_. Being here with you, from birth I've been preparing for that." Jensen's fingers uncurled, palm running slowly along Jared's chest. Trying to make his Possessor understand the mindset of a Companion wasn't going to be an easy task.

Smiling sadly into Jensen's hair, Jared closed his eyes. "I always hoped that the person I would spend my life with that person would _love_ me, _want_ to be with me. And, I guess I wish that for everyone." This whole Companion thing was far more complicated than Jared had ever imagined.

"We were raised to know that no one would ever love us," Jensen said quietly, feeling like he was exposing some dark secret just by uttering the words. "They teach us from childhood to not expect that. I used to volunteer in the nursery... at six months the baby is only comforted and held twice a day." Pushing up slightly to consider Jared he sighed and shook his head once more. "I should not have told you that. This is why Companions aren't meant to share stories."

Jared could feel the muscles across his chest tighten with hurt, "that's horrible." He pulled Jensen closer to him unconsciously, slipping both arms around his body. "People should be held all the time, I mean," his brow furrowed, “what about when you were little? What if you cried or hurt yourself? Some of the fondest memories I have are of my Mom picking me up and dusting me off, holding me on her lap." Dragging a hand slowly up over Jensen's back, his shoulder, Jared pulled his hand forward and cupped his Companion's cheek. "Doesn't this feel... good?"

Jensen nodded, not voicing out loud how very good it did feel. "Perhaps they do it so we'll crave this touch. We aren't allowed to touch each other," Jensen curled a little more into Jared's body and sighed softly. "I enjoy the warmth. It feels nice to feel connected... to someone."

"Would you like to touch other people?" Jared's voice was soft, he didn't want to give Jensen the slightest inclination that the very thought made him feel oddly jealous.

Jensen's automatic answer was no but it hovered right on the tip of his tongue. He knew Jared seemed to have doubts and concerns about the life of a Companion and he worried that if he said no - Jared wouldn’t believe him anyway. But lying wasn't an option so he shook his head, "I can't imagine anyone's touches being better than yours." The words were among the quietest he'd spoken and he continued to add, "For as long as I am with you, I wish only to be touched by you, and only to touch you."

Jared's voice was barely above a whisper. "I'll let you, if you want." He closed his eyes and waited for Jensen's answer, heart thudding out a slow, heavy rhythm in his chest.

"I said I do not," Jensen stated, voice flat. "At some point in time Jared, you will have to learn to trust me." It hurt, oddly, that Jared didn't trust him now as most Possessor's understood that in generally all occasions, their Life Companion was the only one to _be_ trusted. But Jensen knew that this Life Companion thing had never really been Jared's choice.

Jared flinched and swallowed a few times. "Okay," Jared cleared his throat, "didn't say I _wanted_ you to," he muttered. "Maybe you could trust that I say things because I _feel_ them. Maybe that I want what's best for you." He felt a little hurt, he did trust Jensen. He'd probably revealed more to Jensen in the past day than he'd told anyone ... ever.

"I'm sorry Jared," Jensen was immediately repentant, turning his head into Jared's chest and inhaling his Possessor's rich scent. "I should not have spoken to you like that. I understand you have doubts and confusions, I shall try not to disregard them in the future," he sighed softly, tightening his fingers in Jared's shirt once more.

"You can speak to me however you want, but I'm gonna speak back and you might not always like it. That's what... friendship is like." Jared relaxed a little feeling like they'd made it over another speed bump without actually ending up in different rooms.

"Mm," Jensen nodded, not really knowing what else to say. He supposed he could be Jared's friend, that was part of being a Companion after all. Though, secretly, he wanted to be Jared's _everything_ but Jensen had been expecting that. Another lesson learned.

-=-=-=-

Like the night before Jensen had trouble falling asleep though this time he was much less worried about his standing with Jared. They had enjoyed a peaceful afternoon relaxing and talking, and Jensen had helped Jared cook a meal which amused him far more than he let on.

Safe to say, Jensen would stick to doing most of the cooking for them. After dinner Jared had discovered that Jensen had never seen a movie before - besides the ones meant for learning purposes - and he was quick to plant them in front of the TV for several horror movies in a row that took Jensen's breath away. He'd never seen something so graphic and violent and, oddly enough, he was highly entertained.

Jared had passed out halfway through the second movie, slumped against Jensen's side, and Jensen had let him lay there until the credits played through and the menu returned to the screen. Then he skilfully swept the tall, thin man up and carried him to his bedroom. Of course Jared woke as Jensen was placing him on the bed and the Companion had flushed with embarrassment at being caught, lips inches from Jared's, and had consequently fled the room to his own.

For quite a few hours, Jensen didn't know how long, he'd lost himself in thoughts of Jared, staring up at the ceiling and imagining him across the hall, peacefully passed out. Finally he'd fallen into a light sleep, just barely slipping into dreams when something loud and blaring sounded outside. Jensen was out of bed in a flash, stumbling over to the window with wide eyes. In the distance he could see blue and red lights and he was certain that he knew what they belonged to but the disorientating sleepiness was clouding his thoughts and all he kept seeing was flashes of some mad man with an axe chasing people through abandoned buildings.

Crossing the room quickly Jensen hesitated with his hand on the doorknob, taking a deep breath before pulling it open. Peeking his head out into the hallway he looked first left then right then at the door closed directly across from his. Sucking another breath in Jensen held it as he skidded across the hallway and threw Jared's door open as quietly as possible, spinning quickly to close it behind him and let the air slowly seep from his lungs.

Jared was a barely moving lump on the bed, undisturbed by the still blaring sirens out in the city. In his room, it had seemed like a very good idea to find safety in his Possessor's room, but now he felt a little foolish. Outside the window he could hear a loud echo of crashes, reverberating through the city and Jensen crossed to Jared's bedside in three quick strides.   
Pursing his lips, Jensen watched Jared's chest slowly rise and fall, lips occasionally opening and closing as he dreamed, and guilt had him half turning again. Jared hadn't slept well the night before; it wasn't fair to wake him up.

The sirens outside intensified and Jensen's arm was extending without his permission, fingers curling around Jared's shoulder and shaking slightly. "Jared?" He whispered, watching his Possessor turn and shift slightly.

Turning slowly, Jared groaned, "mhmm..."

Looking up at the window Jensen could just barely see the blue and red flashes from outside and he bit down on his lip before looking back down at Jared. "Can I sleep with you?" Jensen asked quietly, trying to calm the unsteady racing of his heart.

Jared opened one eye slowly, gradually becoming aware of all the sirens outside. "You okay?" He cleared his throat, voice thick with sleep, as he tried to focus on Jensen's face. Jensen's eyes were wide and he, frankly, looked terrified. "I mean, yeah, c'mere." Jared fumbled with the quilt and flipped it back, wiggling over a little.

Dropping down onto the mattress Jensen slid under the quilt and instantly curled up against Jared's body, wrapping an arm around his waist, rolling his lips together as Jared's bare flesh burned against his. "There were loud bangs. I think someone got shot," Jensen whispered, trying to resist the urge to press flush against Jared's body.

"God, you're freezing," Jared laughed softly and rolled slightly to pull Jensen closer. "Bangs..." he murmured. "Well, our building is really safe. No one can get in here without a guest code and those have to be acknowledged by someone inside. The ambulance service is really good; if someone is hurt they'll be in good hands." Jared yawned and rolled his shoulders slightly.

"Sorry for waking you," Jensen said softly and fell into silence for some time, wondering if Jared had fallen asleep once more. Something was nagging at the back of his mind and he whispered, "Jared? Can I ask you something?"

"MMhmmm, anything," Jared sighed happily and nuzzled into Jensen's hair sleepily.

Wetting his lips slowly, Jensen blew out a low breath through his nose before whispering once more, "is that Michael Meyers guy from that movie real? Cause he's pretty big and I don't think any type of door would really stop him." Jensen was really glad it was dark, so Jared couldn't see him blushing.

Trying hard not to laugh Jared tightened his hold on Jensen, "no, he's not real I promise. The whole thing is made up. Not even based remotely on any true characters." Jared slid his arm up over Jensen's back and curled his fingers over the man's neck. "Come closer," he murmured.

Sliding until his body was pressed chest to hips to knees against Jared's, Jensen sighed softly and buried his head in the crook of Jared's neck. He felt much better knowing that there would be no crazy giant killer busting down their door any time soon. "Thank you," he whispered against Jared's skin, pressing a small kiss to the warm flesh.

"Maybe romance movies are more your style," Jared laughed softly pressing his lips to Jensen's hair. The heat of his Companion's body felt alarmingly good. Even half awake and kind of dopey Jared was entirely too aware of the smooth heat of Jensen's chest against his.

"We'll have to watch some and find out," Jensen murmured, settling his weight more firmly against Jared. His eyes were already falling closed once more, senses tuned into the faint beat of Jared's heart that he could just hear. "Goodnight Jared," he whispered, repeating the kiss against Jared's skin, lips lingering there.

"Night." Jared's lips were still curved into a smile as his lashes fluttered closed.

-=-=-=-

When Jared woke up the first thing he realized was that he was warm, almost too warm but it was nice. He smiled; realizing that the heavy weight across his arm was Jensen, the pressure on his chest was Jensen's arm. His Companion was sleeping peacefully, his chest rising and falling gently in the morning light. As his eyes adjusted to focus on Jensen's face, Jared smiled at the freckles that were dusted across Jensen's nose - he'd asked for someone with freckles on the survey. Crazy.

Jensen shifted slightly against Jared, rolling back a little, lips parting as he blew out a breath. Staring long and hard at Jensen's lips, full, an almost perfect curve, Jared smiled. Leaning forward slowly, Jared held his breath and when Jensen didn't move he pressed his lips against his Companion's. It was a gentle kiss, Jared's lips barely moved and he pulled back slowly - eyes wide and glassy as sparks settled across his skin. He closed his eyes again, and laid his head back on the pillow, sucking his tingling bottom lip into his mouth.

Some part of Jensen thought the smooth warmth against his lips had to be a dream and he lay there for some time with his eyes closed, turning slow thoughts through his sleep-groggy mind. In the end he decided it was a dream, and he felt nothing, and therefore wouldn't be lying if someone asked if they'd kissed. Turning in Jared's arms his eyes blinked slowly open, snapping shut when the morning light burned against his retinas. "Mornin'," he mumbled, voice hoarse with sleep.

"Hi, sleepyhead." Jared opened his eyes and leaned forward to kiss Jensen's forehead. "How did you sleep?" Jared slept well. He felted rested and content and was considering staying in bed all day, well, if Jensen would stay with him.

"Much better," Jensen murmured, small smile on his face. "Well, after I came in here. It's very nice... to sleep in your arms. Thank you," he sighed, content lying against Jared's chest and once more listening to his heart beat steadily against his rib cage.

"Scaredy-cat," Jared teased. Not that he minded if it got Jensen into his arms. At least if Chad asked him about it he had a valid reason for it. "Gotta get you some nice romance stories to watch." His fingers gripped Jensen's arm in case his Companion had any ideas about moving.

Jensen hummed softly and nuzzled gently against Jared's neck, small smile pulling at his lips. "Well, maybe if we watch more scary movies I could... sleep in here again? If I get scared?" A bright blush crawled along Jensen's cheeks and he pressed his lips down into Jared's skin, resolutely keeping his eyes closed.

"Did you sleep better in here than you did in your own room?" Jared couldn't stop rubbing his lips against Jensen's hair so he moved back a little bit. Jensen's lips on his skin was one of most distracting sensations he'd ever experienced. Goosebumps were skidding down his forearms just from the barely-there kisses.

"Yes, very much," Jensen lifted his head and stared at Jared. "Did you? Was it weird to have someone in your bed?" He reached out to gently tuck Jared's sleep ruffled hair behind his ear.

"Liked it," Jared murmured as his eyes wandered back down to Jensen's lips. Drawing his hand forward Jared ran the pad of his finger down the curve of Jensen's cheek and across his top lip. Licking his own lips he let his finger trail down to Jensen's full bottom lip, tracing the gentle curve of it. He swallowed, "you can sleep in here without being scared if you want."

Swallowing thickly Jensen's tongue slid out to graze along Jared's finger, breath quickening slightly as his eyes locked with Jared's. "I..." he blinked a few times, feeling his heart pick up speed as it sank in how the heat of Jared's body was pressed so flush against his. "Okay. I would like that. Sleeping with you." Jensen looked to the side then his eyes snapped back to Jared and widened slightly. "In your bed. Sleeping with you in your bed."

Jared chuckled softly. "I knew what you meant but if you were mine." He licked his lips and slid his hand back up Jensen's cheek and into his hair. "If you were mine - I'd kiss you right now." Looking down and to the side he blinked away the heat he could feel on his face. "Don't - I'm not asking, I'm just telling you the truth." There was no way that Jensen couldn't feel the way his heart was banging around in his chest the way they were laying.

Shifting slightly, Jared's thigh moved against Jensen's crotch and the unmistakable heat of his arousal. "Sorry," he pulled his leg back and licked his lips again, moaned softly and let his head fall back onto the pillow. Fingers moving restlessly on Jensen's back, up into his hair, Jared squeezed his eyes shut - imagining all the possibilities.

"When I'm yours," Jensen said softly, catching his lower lip between his teeth. "I would kiss _you_ ," he smiled softly and couldn't help rock his hips forward slightly. A soft moan fell from his lips as temporary pressure brushed against him. "Jared," he whispered, dipping forward. His lips stopped inches from Jared's, noses brushing together, and he sucked in a shaky breath, summoning up the will and strength to move away.

The ring of Jared's phone nearly made Jared leap out of his skin. Panting out a couple of quick breaths he smiled, "phone," he murmured. "Behind you answer it?"

Pushing up and back Jensen turned to grab the ringing phone, dragging a hand through his hair to try and calm the heat pulsing in his veins. The pleasure was likely the defining reason Jensen wasn't in the least bit nervous about answering Jared's phone. "Hello, Padalecki residence," he said simply and barely stifled a laugh as he looked back at Jared who seemed entirely too entertained by his greeting.

"Hello? Who is this?" The woman on the line asked and Jensen's eyes widened slightly. "Put my son on the line now please."

They'd both kind of forgotten that Jared had neglected to tell anyone outside his friend Chad that his Life Companion was male. The color drained from Jensen's face and he rolled until he was sitting, holding the phone out to Jared. "Um, it's your mother." He looked at Jared nervously, speaking as quietly as possible.

Jared scratched his head as his eyes widened and he reached for the phone. Smiling nervously Jared pressed the phone up to his ear. "Hi, Mom. How are you?" Before Jensen could get any further away Jared reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him back onto the bed.

"Jared? Who was that who answered your phone? That didn't sound like Chad," Sharon was clearly confused and she sighed a moment later.

Shifting back toward Jared, Jensen waited, watching Jared's expressions change, hand extending to thread through Jared's hair in a slow and comforting stroke.

"Well," Jared cleared his thought, "Mom. That was Jensen. Jensen is my Life Companion from Purity." All Jared could hear was his mother's soft breathing on the other end of the phone. "Mom?" He caught Jensen's eye and shrugged.

"I'm outside. Let me in and we'll discuss this." The line clicked off, falling into silence a moment later.

Jared sat bolt upright staring down at his phone. "Jensen, she's downstairs. Get ... dressed, do something." Dragging his hand through his hair Jared rolled to the side of the bed and tumbled off crawling around on the floor looking for his jeans. "Run!" Snatching his jeans up Jared pushed up to his feet and called down to the front door and punched in his access code. "We've got about three minutes."

Jensen climbed swiftly off the bed and moved to Jared's closet. None of his clothes had arrived yet so he just had to make do. He dressed swiftly, pulling on the first pair of jeans and t-shirt he could find. Heading out into the living room he spotted Jared scrambling around trying to clean things up. "Jared," he said softly and caught his Possessor by the arm and he nearly flew past him, swinging him around, Jensen grabbed Jared's shoulders and squeezed. "Hey. Breathe. Calm down. It's going to be okay." Jensen smiled reassuringly at Jared, ignoring his own nerves in favour of calming his Possessor.

"Okay," Jared smiled slightly, "okay." He ran his hands threw his hair then dropped them to Jensen's wrists. "We're good... right? It'll be okay?" He was pretty sure his mother couldn't do anything _about_ Jensen, he just wasn't sure he wanted to explain.

"Yes, we're good," Jensen nodded and lifted his hands to cup Jared's jaw on either side, bringing him forehead to press a kiss to his temple. "Now, I won't be speaking much in front of your mother because that wouldn't make me look favourable in her eyes but I'll be right by your side if you need me," Jensen whispered softly, tilting Jared back once more to peer in his eyes. "Most Companions arrange a secret sign with their Possessor. For now, simply look my way and I will come to you alright?" These were things Jensen could do; calm his Possessor, being the rock when needed.

"Alright," a sharp knock at the door made Jared jump. Leaning down quickly he kissed Jensen's cheek, just barely missing the corner of his mouth. Padding over to the door he unlocked it and pulled it open. "Hi, Mom. Come on in." He smiled and leaned forward to kiss her cheek then held his hand out to usher her inside.

Sharon walked swiftly in the house, Matthew trailing along obediently after her. "Jared," she nodded and shrugged out of her jacket, offering it to Matthew who took it and draped it over his arm. She inhaled deeply for a moment before turning to look at Jared, "So. You received a male Life Company." Her hands folded together in front of her, eyes carefully guarded. "And you didn't feel your father and I should be made aware of this?"

"I, uh, we were just settling in, getting to know one another." Peering around his mother's shoulders he met Jensen's gaze with what he hoped was enough of a _pleading_ look that he would come over and at least stand there to give him some moral support. "Hi Matthew," he said quietly.

Swallowing his nerves Jensen stepped into the room, keeping his eyes down on the ground as he took a place just behind Jared. Reaching out he grazed his fingers over Jared’s lower back, letting him know he was there.

Matthew dipped down and whispered something neither man could hear into Sharon's ear and she sighed softly, nodding, before turning her gaze on Jensen. "So, you are Jensen." She considered him and frowned, "well, look up at me, give me a proper greeting at least."

Jensen slid forward, "sorry Ma'am, yes. I am Jensen." He hesitated for a moment before taking her extended hand and pressing a kiss to it. The moment she pulled it back Jensen slid back to his spot behind Jared, stopping close enough to feel his Possessor's heat, fingers curling into his belt loop.

"Hmm," she considered Jensen for a moment longer before looking back at Jared. "Well. It's not completely unheard of to have a same sex Companion... perhaps you just needed a better friend than that Chad fellow you insist on associating with. This doesn't mean..." Sharon shook her head and glanced over at Matthew who gave her a soft smile. Looking back at Jared she frowned and shook her head more roughly, "well, don't be rude Jared; I know I taught you better manners than this."

Jared's brow furrowed but he stifled his urge to defend Chad. "Mom, would you and Matthew like to sit down while I get you something to drink?" The only thing stopped Jared from losing his temper was the gentle press of Jensen's fingers at his back. "Coffee, tea..." he glanced at Matthew, "lemonade?"

"Tea would be lovely, Matthew will have tea as well," Sharon nodded and turned to head down the hall into the living room.

Matthew watched her go before stepping up to Jared and ruffling his hair. "I'm happy for you," he whispered in low tones before shooting Jensen a smile and turning to follow his Possessor into the living room.

Blinking a few times Jensen pressed more firmly into Jared's back, hand curling around the back of his neck and stroking softly, "that didn't go too bad." Jensen had been preparing himself for the very worst so all in all, it went a whole lot better than that.

Jared bit down on his bottom lip trying not to laugh. "Jensen, that was horrible." He peered down the hallway as Matthew disappeared. "And, what did Matthew mean?" Jared's eye widened again, "should we both make the tea? Should I come with you? What should I do?" Jared scratched at his cheek, eyes darting back down the hall.

"Perhaps your mother could use a few minutes talking to you without me there," Jensen pointed out, dipping down to press a discreet kiss below Jared's ear. "Why don't I make some tea? What would you like? And if it becomes too much you can use the excuse that I haven't learned my way around the kitchen yet." Jensen smiled at him, deciding it was best to leave Matthew's comments out of the current conversation.

Nodding slowly Jared smiled weakly, fingers lifting to brush the spot Jensen's lips had just touched. "Okay, I'd like some of your lemonade." His smile grew slightly and he took a couple of steps backwards down the hall, "I'm gonna..." he waved down the hall. "Don't be long," turning slowly Jared took a deep breath and headed down the hall.

His Mom was perched on the edge of the sofa when Jared arrived back in the living room; Matthew was standing a discreet distance away staring out the window. "Sorry, Jensen still doesn't know where everything is." Jared flopped down into the arm chair and smiled nervously. "How have you been Mom?" It had only been about a few days since he'd heard from her and really, he didn't think it was crazy that he'd been a little distracted by having Jensen arrive. Jensen was enough to make anyone forget to call their mother.

"Very well, Megan wanted to come today but I insisted she wait. I'm glad she did," Sharon nodded, slight frown still on her lips. "So are you and Jensen... getting along well? Has he been adjusting?" Sharon glanced back at Matthew who nodded as if he'd encouraged her to ask the questions.

Jared chuckled "Well, I was a bit surprised at first that he's a guy. But...yeah. I like him. He's..." Jared almost said sweet, thought about saying hot, and settled on, "pretty cool. We're still getting to know each other obviously. Figuring out where we stand with each other and what things Jensen might do for me... for us..." Jared swallowed, "around here." Cringing inwardly he wondered how long it could take to make tea. Glancing over his mom's shoulder at Matthew and smiled slightly.

"Well yes, it is very shocking. But... the house is clean, and he seems very... polite so... so... well if things don't go well there's always the trial time," she nodded resolutely. "No reason you can't send him back after the thirty days. I'm sure they could find other uses for him." Her nod quickened and she smiled at Jared, "yes I think that would be best. At the thirty day mark you'll simply explain that things didn't work the way you thought they might and we'll make it known a girl is preferred. Clearly Purity has made some mistake." She sighed and looked toward the door, "where is that tea?"

From behind her, leaning against the wall, Matthew frowned, a flash of disappointment crossing his eyes before he schooled his emotions back into the usual blank stare he wore whenever they were out and about.

"Jensen will bring it out when it's ready." Jared scooted forward to the edge of his seat. "Mom, I don't think I want to send him back." He looked down at his shoes. "I like Jensen; I think that we might be a good match." Curling his fingers hard into his thighs Jared looked up and met his mother's gaze.

"A good match?" She repeated slowly, eyes widening. "What does that...?” She trailed off as Jensen walked back into the room carrying a tray.

Jensen moved to the table first, offering Sharon a mug and standing perfectly still as she fixed up her tea to taste with the sugar and milk on his tray. Once she'd finished, dropping her spoon on the tray and glancing up at Jensen with a nod, he turned to Jared and smiled, shifting the tray to one hand so he could offer him his glass of lemonade. Jensen resisted the urge to caress Jared's hair as he moved past and around the room to Matthew, smiling at him as well as he made up his own tea.

Sharon cleared her throat, taking a small sip and considering her son. "Well, your father wanted me to speak with you about coming down to the company sometime in the next week. You know he wants you to take on some responsibility there, help relieve some of the burden. If Jensen has his _own_ clothing I suppose you could bring him along. He would be a useful worker."

"I... Mom, I thought I was going to be given some time to work on my painting? And I - Jensen hasn't told me what he wants to do. Maybe he'll be good at office work." Jared's fingers twisted together nervously, "maybe he'll just be with me, doing what I want to do." Jared's eyes were locked on his fingers. He was trying _so_ hard not to look at Jensen again and appear completely helpless.

With a small sigh Sharon shook her head and paused to take several long sips from her tea. "Honey, you choose what Jensen does. Not the other way around. But alright, I'll speak with your father and let him know you're still intent on the painting non-" Sharon cut off mid word as Jensen slid away from his place beside Matthew on the wall and stepped up to Jared's side, sitting on the edge of the chair and laying three fingers over his forearm. Tea splashed over the rim of Sharon's mug and she gasped softly, looking up as her Life Companion instantly appeared by her side to assist her.

Jensen felt mildly guilty that his actions had seemingly startled Mrs. Padalecki so much but he had seen that panic rising in Jared once more and his own Possessor was the most important thing. Unable to resist sliding his eyes over to Jared he watched and waited, ensuring Jared was okay with him being there considering how his mother just reacted.

Swallowing past the growing lump in his throat, Jared took a deep breath, trying to settle his nerves and glanced up at Jensen with warmth in his eyes he hoped his Companion would perceive. "Mom, Jensen is with me, _not_ you. I think it's appropriate for me to interact with him in a way that makes me comfortable." Stealing himself for his mother's ire he looked up and met her gaze. "I'd like him to be able to make his own choices about what he wants to do, the things that make him happy. If that's being with me, great, if it's doing something else during the day... that's fine." His voice wavered a bit and he looked over at Matthew who was still dealing with the spilled tea.

"I think it's best I go now," Sharon pushed up and shared a long look with Matthew before sighing and turning to Jared. "It is your life and he is your slave, you can do and act however you'd like. Though be careful Jared. Please just... be careful." She smiled and stepped forward, waiting for Jared to rise for a hug. "Also, call me later tonight; I need to arrange something with you. Not work related I promise," Sharon smiled reassuringly, eyes fixed completely on Jared.

Jared pushed up off the chair and stepped closer to wrap his arms around his Mom. No matter how they disagreed on things, he knew that his parents loved him. "Don't be too mad, Mom. I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too honey," she smiled and kissed his cheek. "And I'm not mad, just surprised. I will tell your father and maybe next week you can bring Jensen over to meet the rest of the family okay?" Sharon nodded as she stepped back and looked at Jensen. "Nice to meet you Jensen, I hope you become a good Life Companion for my son."

"I will try my best Ma'am," Jensen said quietly, glancing up at her and smiling before dropping his gaze.

"We'll show ourselves out honey," Sharon patted Jared's shoulder before stepping with Matthew out of the living room.

Smiling Jared watched his mother leave and as soon as he heard the door close behind sagged back into the chair. "Well, shit," he murmured. There was such a mixture of emotions running through Jared he wasn't sure how he felt. Staring at the lemonade still untouched in his hand, he shook his head slowly.

Perching on the edge of the chair once more Jensen reached out to rub the back of Jared's neck. "That wasn't too bad really. I'm sure, like you, she just needs time to warm up to the idea." He knew that there was likely to be a million questions Mrs. Padalecki had in her mind about Jensen being Jared's Companion and he was personally very glad she had voiced any of the uncomfortable ones.

Jared had a mouthful of lemonade when Jensen spoke and he choked. Yeah, she just needed time to warm up.


	4. Chapter 4

After the unexpected visit from Jared's mom, the boys decided the best way to spend their day was doing as very little as possible. So Jared pulled out his game system and promptly taught Jensen how to play with the virtual headset. Jensen wasn't very good and Jared completely kicked his ass but it relieved some tension from the confrontation and by the time lunch rolled around they were laughing and feeling much more relaxed. Jared even brought out his old game system to teach Jensen how to play the classic version. Jensen enjoyed watching the pleased smile on his Possessor’s face that Jensen showed interest in the old electronics, even if the graphics could hardly compare to that of the digital collections now.

They ate outside on Jared's balcony and Jensen peppered the man with questions about their neighbourhood, the places he could go during the day and the types of friends Jared had. They spent the afternoon watching movies. Jensen decided romance movies really weren't all that great and declared that being scared at night was worth the horror flicks Jared preferred.

For dinner Jensen scrounged around to find ingredients for a pasta dish and informed Jared that they should visit the market the next day if they wanted to continue to eat food not prepared in the microwave. After dinner Jared settled into his art room and Jensen was shown the surprisingly large collection of books Jared had. It made his heart flutter, warm and pleasant in his chest, to touch the spines and the printed pages, to inhale the rich smells, marvel in the history. He curled into the chair in the far corner of the room while Jared painted. He was much more content with the way things were falling together for them and, judging from the relaxed look on Jared's face, his Possessor felt the same.

The following afternoon Jensen received his clothing delivery, a relief since he felt odd to be borrowing his Possessor’s clothing. Jensen experienced just the hint of a thrill when he pressed his thumb into the man’s signature pad and the transaction was taken care of. It made him feel as if he were connected to Jared somehow, a part of his life, something important. Jensen carried the clothing to his room and took his time hanging each item, marvelling at the idea of these being _his_. Something inside Jensen stirred, twisting just slightly and he couldn’t help smiling as he touched crisp denim.

-=-=-=-

Jared was surprised at how quickly he and Jensen fell into a routine. Their mornings were taken up by working out in the gym on the main floor. They'd discovered after a couple of days that they both liked to run and Jensen had lifted weights while he was in the Clean Home so he was able to coach Jared. They made lunch together even though Jared started to notice that Jensen was hinting that he do the cooking. Jared insisted he could be _taught_ how to cook; mostly, he enjoyed being in the kitchen with Jensen.

They started to venture out to get some groceries and for juice with Chad and Stephanie. Jared loved watching Jensen see things for the first time. Now that his Companion had relaxed a little he was so curious Jared could barely keep up with the man's questions.

Each time they went out Jensen seemed to be watching everything, eyes darting back and forth and only when they moved in crowded areas did he seem to get a little shy and slip in behind Jared often curling his fingers through Jared's belt loop. It always made Jared smile.

In the afternoons Jared painted, and even started a painting of Jensen curled up in the studio chair where he liked to read. There was something calming about having Jensen around and Jared was already feeling like he wouldn't want to give it up. In the evenings Jensen would always stay up until Jared decided to go to bed then they would go their separates ways. Once Jensen was changed into his pyjama pants, he would slip back into Jared's room and crawl into bed with him. Jared would only smile and pull the covers back.

-=-=-=-

Having a friend was an odd thing that Jensen found surprisingly pleasant. When he'd imagined what his Possessor would be like - however forbidden it was to do such a thing - he had pictured a girl because that was most common. And he had pictured a life of servitude, doing exactly what was asked of him when it was asked. With Jared it was different, every request came with a _if you want_ and Jensen never failed to do the task but it was pleasing to know he had the choice not to if he wanted.

Almost a week after his new life began Jared took him to the art district. Jared was selling a few of his paintings and Jensen took the opportunity to browse through possible decorations for their home. Just the idea made him giddy and he tried his hardest not to bounce around Jared in excitement as he made his transaction. It was part of his Companion duty to oversee things for Jared so he focused his attention on the task before Jared and then he set off on a quest for things that might look good in the apartment.

They came home with a few paints and almost a dozen old books that Jensen was more than excited to read. The fear that Jared would wish to send him back after thirty days had all but disappeared and Jensen was beginning to think he was actually the luckiest Companion out there. The only time things faltered was the almost too close kisses and touches, always breaking off before anything could escalate. It always left both men flushed and unsatisfied. But Jensen understood Jared's want to wait and tried not to count how many days were left in the trial period.

Jared spent a lot of time watching Jensen. He would watching him move, so fluid and graceful; he liked the watching him smile, especially the smile he got on his face when he thought Jared wasn't watching, the distant thoughtful one.

There were times when Jared wanted to pull Jensen into his arms, hold him, run his lips over every part of Jensen's body he could reach. But, he didn't. It was difficult enough to spend each night pressed up against Jensen's body, feeling the heat of his Companion's flesh. Most mornings he would steal that barely-there kiss from Jensen's lips, it was too tempting to resist. And then, during the day they moved about each other more like they were friends.

Jared's Mom had emailed, suggesting that she had met a woman he might like to meet. He wasn't sure what he thought of that idea but put his mother off for the time being. Smart enough not to mention it to Jensen he was left taking Chad's advice about dating women which was, as always, _why not?_ Jared began to realize that was Chad's standard approach to everything.

At some point during their second week together Jared encouraged Jensen to get out on his own; although reluctant at first, Jensen seemed to quite like his independence once he could come and go. What Jared _didn't_ tell Jensen was that he paced the apartment when Jensen was gone, worrying, fretting and always dove for the chair when he heard Jensen opening the door. Somewhere, in the dark recesses of his mind he still wondered if Jensen would meet someone somewhere that would somehow be a better fit.

-=-=-=-

It was a particularly sunny day and Jensen was taking his time walking through the market. He could hardly believe that two and half weeks ago he hadn't known Jared, hadn't known the happiness he could find out in the real world. Jensen had found a recipe online for eggplant parmesiana and was eager to try it out so his search through the store took longer than normal as he hunted down the specific ingredients. On the way home he bought a bouquet of tiger lilies, remembering they were Jared's favourite and a new box of paintbrushes since Jensen had noticed Jared's were getting a little worse for wear, stained with multiple colours.

Jensen punched the code to get into the apartment, balancing everything in his arms and laughing at himself when he nearly tripped over the first step. The bubbly happiness that he was growing accustomed to only heightened as he slipped his key into the door and let himself in, shifting things around to slip his shoes off at the front door. "Jared? I'm home," he called from the front door, wondering why Jared hadn't come to greet him like he normally did when he knew Jensen had bought things. Walking down the hall he stopped at the door to the living room, Jared's name a half formed word trailing off.

His Possessor was sitting on the couch with a petite brunette, head tipped back in laughter. Jensen watched the way the girl slid closer to Jared before glancing at him curiously. In an instant his heart sank as his eyes dropped. "I'm sorry; I didn't realize you had company. Forgive me Miss," Jensen murmured politely before turning and heading back down the hall to the kitchen. His mind was reeling with the image, a surprising wave of tears burning across his vision as he deposited his purchases on the kitchen counter. "Stupid," he muttered to himself, shaking his head roughly.

It wasn't like he didn't _know_ Jared was meant to marry. And of course it would be to a girl, someone who could make his family proud, could provide children, and could be a proper wife. Jensen had slipped far too easily into the idea that it would always be just Jared and himself but he'd always _known_.

Swallowing down the jealousy, Jensen finished putting everything away, arranging the flowers in a vase and leaving them on the counter before retrieving the brushes. He decided to hide out in the art room though he knew his duty as Companion should be to check on Jared. If there was one thing he'd learned so far about Jared, it was how little he liked the _slave_ aspect of a Companion, so Jensen reasoned that hiding out was okay and he'd apologize later.

Jared watched Jensen disappear and briefly considered going after him but then Sandy rested a hand on his arm. "That's my, that’s Jensen. He's my Companion," Jared murmured as he turned back to her. It was a combination of his Mom's persistence and Chad's cheer leading that conspired to make Jared finally agree to meet with Sandy. After all, Chad has said, now Jared had to experiment a little with a girl if he wanted to make sure he'd made the right decision.

A momentary look of surprise crossed Sandy's features before she smiled and nodded, "well he seemed very nice. From what very little I saw." She laughed softly and tucked some hair behind her ear. "My Companion's name is Misha, he's at home. He fusses too much to bring along on a date," she giggled once more and shook her head. "How long have you had him?"

Jared smiled, he liked Sandy's giggle - it was very genuine. "He's been here a couple of weeks, still getting used to each other I guess." Jared glanced down the hallway again then back and Sandy. "So, your Companion is a man?" He nodded slowly, "I was surprised Jensen wasn't a woman." Laughing Jared leaned back again on the couch, "quite surprised actually."

"I've never met anyone whose Companion was the same sex," she smiled and carefully shifted over to sit pressed against his side. "It must be much different from the usual situation. But you two get along well now? I noticed he hasn't come back in here," Sandy glanced toward the door before looking back at Jared curiously.

Laughing nervously Jared shifted over a bit, "he probably thinks we want to be alone. Do you want me to go get him? Would you like to meet him?" Jared was wishing there was a signal ... like Jensen had spoken of before for Jared to use when he needed him. Only this signal would have to work through walls.

"Sure I'd love to," Sandy grinned. "I wish I would have known your slave was male, I could have brought Misha along. I'm sure he's tired of all the girl talk he has to put up with all the time," she giggled once more and straightened her dress across her lap.

Pushing up from the couch Jared moved quickly down the hallway and into the art room. He was sure that's where he'd heard Jensen disappear to. Relief flooded through him when he saw Jensen in his usual spot in the chair. "Hey, Jensen - Sandy wants to meet you," he smiled and spoke softly, "you want to come out for a while?"

Looking up from the book he'd only been pretending to read Jensen forced a smile onto his face and pushed up out of his chair. _No._ The last thing he wanted to do was to meet Sandy, but if her and Jared hit it off, he didn't want her disliking him for any reason. Jensen tried to say something the lines of yes but lying wasn't something he knew how to do. So he simply stepped past Jared and out of the room, hastily shoving away the haywire emotions stirred up in him. This was the fault of letting his guard down, of letting himself pretend that he was something more than a Companion. No matter what Jared said, he would always be this and it wasn't his place to step in. "Will she be staying for dinner? I believe I have enough," he asked as he waited in the hall for Jared to join him.

Confusion settled over Jared, he'd wanted Jensen to come out so they could provide a united front against the idea that Jared needed a women. And, for all he was worth he couldn't figure out what was going on. "Do you think she should?" Jared's voice was soft and he glanced down the hallway.

Turning his gaze to Jared, Jensen frowned and half shrugged. "You two are on a date aren't you? What is customary for a date?" Just saying the word _date_ made his heart clench and Jensen had to drop his gaze to the floor before Jared could see any traces of how upset he was by the entire situation. He hadn't even known what he was going to be coming home too, at least then he might have been able to prepare himself. Or find an excuse to stay out longer.

"It's a date?" Jared ran a hand through his hair, "you, so I should _date_ her?" He licked his lips and reached out for Jensen's hand before changing his mind at the last moment. "Maybe you should come and meet her, see what you think of her? She seems nice; she has a nice laugh..." Jared babbled nervously, "come on out, okay?"

"I didn't say no did I?" Jensen said quietly, eyes permanently glued to the floor. He felt like Jared was putting him through some weird sort of torture asking questions like this. Turning away he walked swiftly down the hall, stopping just outside the living room door. Like a good Companion should he'd wait for Jared to go in first and make introductions, after all, Sandy was likely more accustomed to the traditional Companion, Possessor relationship.

Still frowning, Jared walked up to Jensen's side. "Don't bother, go back to whatever you were doing." He brushed past his Companion and headed into the living room shoving a stiff smile on his face as he rounded the corner. "Listen, Sandy..." he cleared his throat, "Jensen's not feeling well so maybe you can meet him some other time. I'm... sorry." He sat back down on the couch head spinning.

All he'd wanted was for Jensen to come out and _be there_. Over the past couple of weeks he'd found he liked Jensen's company when he felt like he was up against the wall. Sandy was sweet, Jared knew that - but she wasn't what he _wanted_ in a physical sense. There was no amount of research about women that was going to change the fact that it just wasn't what _did_ it for Jared. "Sandy, would you mind if we called it a day? I think I should..." he gestured toward the hallway hoping she would make the assumption that Jensen needed him for some reason.

"Oh no problem," Sandy smiled and nodded, pushing up from the couch and waiting for Jared to stand once more. "I had a really good time. Maybe... we could do this again sometime?" She asked a little shyly, running a hand through her hair.

"Yeah, sure. I'd like that," Jared smiled and slipped his hand onto her back to guide her toward the door. "I'll give you a call maybe we could go to one of those galleries you suggested." She really was sweet and Jared was pleased to meet someone else who was interested in art.

"That'd be great," she brightened at the suggestion, stopping as they approached the door and turning to lay a hand on his chest. Pushing up to almost tip toes she pressed a small kiss to the corner of Jared's mouth, lingering there as if to see if Jared would further the touch.

Blushing, Jared rested his hand on Sandy's shoulder then pulled back gently. "It was nice to meet you, Sandy. My Mom was right - you're really sweet." As he pulled the door open his lips twitched into a slight smile, "see you soon."

"You too," she smiled and headed out into the hallway.

Jared paced back into the living and took a few deep breaths. Things had been going really well between him and Jensen but this had gone from fine to completely off-kilter in a few words. Swearing softly under his breath Jared headed back down the hallway knowing full well that Jensen would have retreated back to the art room. Pushing the door open he walked in to find Jensen standing by his easel holding what looked like some brushes. "Jensen." Scratching the stubble on his cheek Jared tried to figure out what to say that wasn't going to make things worse, when he couldn't come up with anything he simple dropped down into Jensen's usual spot in the big armchair.

"I'm sorry," Jensen said swiftly, shaking his head. "I was very rude to your guest and to you. I was just... surprised," wetting his lips Jensen stepped forward and held out the brushes in his hand. "I... got these for you. While I was out." He felt stupid, childish, and worst of all like he'd upset Jared and that wasn't at all what he wanted.

Jared pushed back up out of the chair and took the brushes. "Thank you." He paused for a few moments tilting his head to the side. "What were you surprised by? That there was someone here or that she was a girl?" Keeping his voice as even as he could Jared took a step closer.

"That she was a girl," Jensen answered truthfully, dropping his gaze to the floor. "I... you didn't tell me you were having a date over... I didn't realize you were dating..." Jensen frowned and twitched his fingers along the seam on his jeans. "I won't be like that next time, I promise," he nodded.

Jared's lips pressed together into a thin line for a few moments, fingers still moving over the brushes. "Do you remember that talk you and I had about trust? How we said we'd always tell the truth?" Looking down at the brushes Jared took another step closer to Jensen forcing his Companion to take a step back closer to the wall.

Looking up at his Possessor, Jensen was surprised by the slight swell of nerves bubbling along his veins. The wall was solid and firm behind him and he nodded, "yes, I remember." Heat was joining the nerves and Jensen swallowed thickly.

Licking his lips Jared pressed his body up against Jensen's trapping him against the wall. Pressing his free hand against the wall by Jensen's head Jared ducked his head down to hover near Jensen's cheek. "Do you want me to date her?" He whispered, voice low and rough just inches from Jensen's ear.

Jensen's heart skipped a beat before slamming into overtime and his hand extended to curl fingers around Jared’s hipbone. "No," he answered in a breathy whisper. The heat from Jared's body was radiating off him, soaking into Jensen, and he bit down on his bottom lip.

The brushes clattered to the floor at their feet as Jared let them go so he could curve his fingers possessively around Jensen's waist. He swallowed, cheek grazing Jensen's, "You want me to date anyone?" Letting out a shuddering breath Jared's hips rolled ever-so-slightly against Jensen's sending waves of pleasure through his body.

Restraining himself from jerking up into Jared's touch, Jensen's breath shuddered with a quick inhale. "No. Yes." He fumbled over the words, struggling with actual words that didn't include _Jared_ and _heat_. Jensen's fingers pushed slight up under the hem of Jared's shirt, burning along the skin above his waistline.

Jared slid his hand down the wall, until he could slide both hands under Jensen's t-shirt and spread his palms wide over the man's back. "You _do_ ," Jared moaned softly as he pressed harder against Jensen's body, "want me to date?" Finally, he leaned forward and pressed a trail of kisses down Jensen's neck. The _want_ that was flaring through his body was making him almost dizzy.

Jensen's head dropped back to thump against the wall, eyes fluttering closed as his hand slid further up under Jared's shirt. "I..." his hips rolled up into Jared's body, heat pooling low in the pit of his stomach. "M-me..." he gasped as Jared's lips hit a particularly sensitive spot on his skin. "Want you... to date..." Jensen's knees felt weak and his free hand curled up into Jared's hair. "Me." He finally managed to finish, moaning softly.

"Finally," Jared murmured. A smile flitted across his lips before he sucked hard on a patch of skin at the base of Jensen's neck. Working his tongue over the flesh he could feel the heat of blood drawing up into Jensen's skin and let go, tongue lapping at the already bruising skin. "I wish we could-" Muscles weak with lust Jared slid down the front of Jensen's body landing hard on his knees. Shoving roughly at the material of Jensen's t-shirt he revealed the rippled flesh and muscles of Jensen's stomach. His Companion's jeans were slung low on his waist and Jared dragged his tongue along Jensen's flesh, loving the feel of muscles twitching beneath his tongue.

Moaning louder, Jensen's hips rolled up into Jared's lips, body pulsing with _want_. "Wish you could..." Jensen sucked in a breath and threaded his fingers through Jared's hair. "Kiss me. God I want," Jensen's fingers tightened in Jared’s hair and he desperately tried to remind himself of the rules. "Jared," he practically whimpered, face flushed with heat, skin tingling from Jared's tongue. His Possessor was _so_ close to the hard pulse of his cock Jensen thought he might actually go insane.

Jared's body was shaking, his palms sweating against the bare flesh of Jensen's chest. His tongue darted into Jensen's belly button, hands still moving. "I want you," Jared murmured against Jensen's abs. Tilting his head up he gazed up at Jensen, hands slipping down to curl around the backs of his Companion's firm thighs. Panting, Jared licked his lips, pressing a few frantic kisses along the waist band of his Companion's jeans, "I don't want anyone else."

The words flashed through Jensen's body with a wave of pleasure and he slid down the wall, falling against Jared's body. "Me either," he murmured and curled his fingers into Jared's shoulders shoving him roughly down onto the ground and crushing down against his body. "I don't want anyone else," he whispered and pushed at Jared's shirt, sliding his lips along every inch of Jared's chest. "Can I, can I touch you," he asked against Jared's skin, hands shoving up Jared's shirt to pull the material off his arms and over his head, tossing it to the side.

Blood hissing in his ears Jared felt his breath leave his body in a long moan. "God," he spat out, "yes." When Jensen had shoved him down Jared's heart had nearly stopped; he'd never felt anything like it, being controlled. Jared twisted beneath Jensen's weight, rolling his hips up, hands clawing at Jensen's t-shirt. "Off, p..please." Nothing beyond _more_ was making any sense to Jared - it was all he knew, all he wanted.

Jensen pushed up enough to tug his shirt off, throwing it to the side before dropping his hand to Jared's pants. He pulled sharply up on the waistline, practically lifting Jared's body from the floor as his fingers moved swiftly over the button and zipper. Jensen had wanted to do this again since the very first day that he'd experience it and now he was almost frantic to get Jared out of his clothing.

"Jared, I want," he muttered, shaking his head and sliding back even further to tug roughly at Jared's pants and pull them down. Jensen fumbled quickly with Jared's shoes and socks, pulling them off before sliding the denim free. As the material dropped from his fingers it occurred to him that Jared was naked and he turned slowly to stare at the exposed body, eyes growing wide. "You're gorgeous," he whispered, reaching out to run his fingers up the inside of Jared's leg, enjoying the slick and smooth skin against his.

It was dizzying, the speed, the forcefulness of Jensen's movements and then the sudden switch to the whisper and ghosting touches. Closing his legs Jared pressed his thighs against Jensen's hips rocking forward. "Want what?" He was half mumbling. "What do you want? Anything, Jensen...Please." Words were falling from his lips as his hands curled into fists at his sides. Squeezing his eyes shut he let his head fall back as his spine arched up off the floor. His flesh was alive with sensation, thighs quivering in the wake of Jensen's touch.

"I want everything," Jensen whispered, sitting back on his calves and watching Jared move as his hand traveled up the inside of his thighs, wrist twisting to brush the back of his knuckles along Jared's balls.

"What do you want now Jared? What would you like to feel?" He hated that they were limited but he planned to make the best of this time here. After all the trial period was more than halfway over and so far they'd not broken the rules, it would be wasted if they broke them now. Jensen curled his fingers loosely around the base of Jared's cock and stroked up slowly, free hand curving into his thigh and squeezing the muscle. "Tell me how you want me to touch you Jared," Jensen murmured, voice deep with arousal.

Jared's hips twitched up at the sound of Jensen's voice. "I want- " There were so many thoughts spinning through his mind, so many things Jared wanted. "Wanna make you happy," he whispered forcing his eyes open so he could look up at Jensen's face.

"This is,” he swallowed, “this is-” Jared licked his lips fingers curling into his thighs. "I don't know," he groaned softly, lips parting slightly as he tried to slow his breathing. Jared knew what he wanted - and he knew Jensen's couldn't give it to him. "S'like torture," he growled. "What I want," Jared sucked in a breath, "is to suck your cock until you come." The blush that shot up his cheeks was fiery and instant.

Hearing Jared say that wasn't expected and Jensen groaned; hand on Jared's thigh lifting to rest against the hard line pressing into his jeans. "God I _really_ want that," he muttered and manoeuvred the button and zipper on his jeans, shoving his hand inside his pants and sighing in slight relief as his jeans slipped low enough to take off some of the pressure. Jensen's chest was rising and falling rapidly as both hands tightened simultaneously, one stroking up Jared's flesh in time with the other along his red swollen cock. It wasn't nearly enough and Jensen was rapidly forgetting all the reasons why they couldn't, all the rules, but twenty two years of being trained a certain way kept him from giving in. "You, you make me happy," he grunted softly, though Jensen thought it may have been some time since Jared actually made that comment.

Humming softly, barely able to think coherently let alone speak Jared wriggled his hips to shift closer. Reaching down he brushed his fingers over Jensen's hip, thumb brushing the course curls of hair at the base of the man's cock. Gasping in another breath Jared twisted his spine to the side "t..tell me you want me," he murmured. He slid his free hand down his own chest to cover Jensen's hand as it slid along the throbbing heat of his cock.

"God Jared.” Jensen moaned as he allowed Jared to set the pace for both his hands, feeling the heat of Jared's flesh beneath his palm and over his fingers. "I want you, your hands on me. Your lips, want to..." Jensen's hips jerked forward slightly and he released both hands, falling to the side and shoving quickly at his pants. Jared was still slowly stroking himself and Jensen dug his fingers into Jared's hip, turning him so they lay side by side facing each other. Jensen shifted as close as he could, hand curling around his cock and matching Jared's slow and steady stroke. "Jared," he whispered, eyes locking on his Possessor's face. He dipped in, almost pressed his lips to Jared's and turned just in time to graze the corner of his mouth. Everything was _so close_ , just enough to intensify the situation and making the inability to touch so much worse.

A shiver ran down Jared's entire body and he couldn't help falling forward slightly into Jensen's chest. He swung his leg up over Jensen's hip. "Wh..When we can," Jared was panting softly hand still guiding Jensen's over his aching flesh. "Will you fuck me?" His hips jolted forward as the words passed his lips and their cocks slid together briefly. Moaning Jared's head snapped forward and he bit down hard on Jensen's shoulder.

"You... you want?" Jensen was temporarily thrown by the request, mind easily supplying an image of Jared's body beneath his. "Y-yes, _god_ yes," he moaned as their cocks once more brushed together and Jared's teeth seemed to sink harder into his skin.

”Fuck Jared." Jensen groaned, tightening both hands and quickening the pace. "So - so close," he murmured, hips jerking forward, desperate for _more_.”T-touch, please Jared," he blew out a sharp puff of air, eyes snapping shut as the beginnings of his orgasm rose up in him, threatening to spill over.

Jared's heart almost stuttered to a complete halt in his chest. He slid his hand off his cock and slid it down to settle on Jensen's inner thigh feeling the head of his Companion's cock against his wrist. Pressing his arm forwards he continued to thrust into Jensen's fist, feeling his wrist sliding against Jensen's shaft. It was wrong and more than he should do but _fuck_ he couldn't take it. The feel of his orgasm rising in him made his hips jerk forward; his breath hitch and a low moan escape from deep inside him. After a few twitching thrusts he came, his cock throbbing painfully hard in his Companion's hand, come pulsing out hot and thick.

Clamping down on his bottom lip Jensen released his hold on Jared's cock and switched hands, feeling the sharp jolt of a thrill burn inside him the heat of Jared's come slid along his flesh. Jensen could feel Jared's hands low on his body, _so_ close but not quite there and his hips thrust forward into his fist, muscles tightening as his orgasm tore through him. Come mixed together, his and Jared's on his fingers, over his skin until Jensen's body stopped its constant rocking motion and he fell against Jared's chest, heaving in quick lungfuls. "Thirteen days," he muttered into Jared's neck, sucking softly on the skin.

Humming his agreement, Jared turned his face into Jensen's hair landing kisses wherever he could, "until I'm yours," he murmured.

-=-=-=-

Arms and legs tangled together, lips pressed softly to a shoulder, breath - warm and moist mingling; its how they slept and how they awoke in the morning. Jared could no longer remember the time _before_ Jensen, the mornings he woke up and simply slid out of bed to start his day. Now, bed was their private world. It was a world that belonged to just the two of them, completely void of stress and tension and all the expectations that might have weighed them down during the day. The words that had passed between them the night before lingered in Jared's mind as he awoke and stole his early morning kiss from Jensen's sleep-warm lips. _Thirteen days until I'm yours._

Jared curled his fingers around the silver wrist band that bound Jensen to his position. It would always be there, no matter how many rules Jared changed or ignored, Jensen would still be _his_. If something happened to Jared, Jensen would become the property of his brother Josh. The thought of it sent Jared's blood racing through his veins. He wanted Jensen free. He wanted _Jensen_ to stay with him even when he was allowed to be anywhere else in the world he wanted.

Sighing, Jared rubbed the end of his nose against Jensen's as a smile crept onto his lips. "Hey," he murmured. "It's only twelve days now." Nuzzling at Jensen's cheek he grinned when he noticed the subtle change in Jensen's breathing that gave away that he was awake. He kissed his spot, that gentle valley right at the side of Jensen's lips, _right_ next to his lips but never touching. _Jared's spot._ "Wake up; I wanna take you home to meet everyone else."

The words had Jensen's eyes snapping open and he rolled swiftly, pinning Jared to the bed and straddling his hips. Digging his hands into the bed on either side of Jared's head, he pushed up and smiled down at his Possessor. "Everyone else? Your sister and father? Really?"

They had been avoiding it, for good reason, but nearly every member of Jared's family had called by this point and insisted Jensen be brought over as soon as possible. It seemed like an oddly big deal that Jared wanted Jensen to meet them now. Dropping down onto his chest Jensen buried his nose in his Possessor's neck and sighed softly, "yes, I would like that. Will we be driving there?" The whole thing was enough to make nervous excitement spark along Jensen's skin.

Laughing as Jensen's breath tickled his neck Jared rubbed his hands up and down Jensen's thighs, massaging gently. "Yes, we'll be driving. I told my Mom we'd be there for lunch so I imagine you'll meet Meg and Dad for sure. Not sure about Jeff." Laughter subsiding Jared dragged his hands up over Jensen's back and wrapped him in his arms. "There's a catch though." He stiffened slightly under his Companion's body, unsure.

"A catch?" Jensen pulled up slightly, staring down at Jared curiously. "I won't act out of turn, or you know... suggest to... maybe you should just tell me what the catch is." Jensen chuckled nervously, hands sliding up to card through Jared's hair, enjoying the soft warmth.

Locking his eyes with Jensen's, Jared's jaw twitched and he scratched at it absent-mindedly. "You, you gotta come with me as my," he shrugged, "like my date. Be treated like me and not like," Jared swallowed and broke away from the intensity of Jensen's gaze, "not like a slave or something." Once the words were out it didn't _feel_ like they should have felt as important as they did but Jared was certainly glad it was said.

Rolling off Jared's body Jensen sat up, turning slightly to look at his Possessor. "But how can I do that? They all know that I'm your Companion." He frowned and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Have you told them? About you and I being... whatever you and I are?" Jensen's heart was fluttering rapidly in his chest, fingers twitching over the silver band on his wrist.

"Well, I haven't told them in so many words. We'll, we'll just," Jared shrugged a shoulder, smile sliding off his face, "we'll walk in holding hands and I think people will know. Chad says when he sees me with you that he sees something different in my face. " Jared looked up at the ceiling, shy for some reason. "He says I look like I'm love-sick or something but, he's kind of a douche so..." Jared laughed nervously, Blowing out a breath Jared turned to look at Jensen, "say something."

Slowly dropping down beside Jared, Jensen rolled on his side, reaching out to lay a hand on his chest. "If you want to tell your family, then, okay. I'll be there, by your side, no matter what," he smiled softly and slid his fingers through Jared's hair. "I'll be there with you through everything," Jensen dipped forward to press a kiss to the corner of Jared's lips, nuzzling into his side softly.

"But, d..do you want to? Or do you think we should wait?" Licking his lips nervously Jared rolled toward Jensen and pressed up flush against his body. "Tell me, I'll do whatever you want." There the slightest tinge of desperation in Jared's voice - he could hear it himself but _God_ being the one who always had to make all the decisions...take all the steps forward was killing him.

Wrapping his arms around Jared's body, Jensen stroked down his back soothingly, comforting him. "I think, well, your parents don't know about your taste for me right? And... having a relationship with just your Companion - that's not that common right? How do you think they'll react?" Jensen sighed and shook his head. "Then again, I don't necessarily want your mother setting you up on any more dates."

Jared's heart sank a little, "well, I can just say no to dates. Maybe it's a bad idea. I ... I rush things sometimes. Jump in before I've really thought things out." Jared pulled back a little, hesitancy and doubt flooding through him. "Yeah, I'll talk to them and maybe some other time we can go over." Closing his eyes he sank back into the mattress, rolling away from Jensen slightly.

"Whatever you think is best," Jensen sighed and rubbed his fingers along Jared's temple. "Jared, I just don't want you to get hurt. I understand that this is often a sensitive subject for families." He frowned slightly and watched Jared continue to withdraw. "Jared? What would you like me to do?"

"What I would like is to know what _you_ think?" Jared pressed his hand hard against his forehead. " _God_. Do you have any idea how hard this is? I can't rely on anything you say because you're so _fucking_ worried about what I think and what I want you to do. "

Pushing up Jared slid off the edge of the mattress and paced over to the window. "How am I supposed to make all the decisions? What if ... what if," he swung around to face Jensen again arms flung wide in frustration, "what if _I_ want _you_ to make some decisions? Is this what my whole life will be like now?" Shoulders sagging, Jared closed his eyes and let his head fall back for a few moments.

Jensen stared slightly wide eyed at Jared, shocked by the sudden turn of the conversation. A little sting of discomfort shot through him and Jensen pulled his legs up to his chest, searching his mind for the right thing to say. "Jared, I... what am I supposed to say?" He asked quietly, resting his chin on his knees and watching Jared with nervous eyes.

Dropping his chin back down Jared opened his eyes. His expression softened when he saw what he perceived to be uncertainty back on Jensen's face and he felt his anger draining away. Padding back over to the bed Jared dropped down to the mattress crawling over to Jensen's side and sitting next to him. "M'sorry." When Jensen didn't pull away Jared shifted closer so he could lean down and kiss Jensen's cheek. "Really, I'm just frustrated and there's so much I don't understand about this, you and me... and just myself."

"I'm sorry. I wish I had answers," Jensen whispered and leaned slightly into Jared's body, soft sigh falling from his lips. "I know I'm not... this is not how you wanted your love life to be. I could try harder. Try and be more open? Would that help?" His shoulders tensed slightly, waiting to see if he'd inadvertently upset Jared again.

Jared reached around to grasp Jensen's hair, "I just want you to be yourself." His tongue darted out to run across his bottom lip as his eyes moved slowly over his Companion's face. "Jensen," it was a soft hiss of a whisper.

Pressing closer Jared brushed his lips across Jensen's cheek, gently at first, soft glides of his mouth across Jensen's flesh. "I just want you _so_ much." Teeth grating down Jensen's neck, Jared moaned softly, "Jensen," he murmured against his Companion's neck. "Kiss me. No one will know." His voice was strained with _need_. "How, how will they know..." he breathed; it was less question and more assertion.

Jensen's head tilted back, breath quickening as he struggled with words, trying to remember the reason why they weren't supposed to kiss though it was the only thing he wanted. "Jared... the rules," he swallowed thickly and curled his fingers around Jared's shoulders, holding him back slightly to meet his eyes. “They would know. They will ask me and I won't be able to lie. They would know." Jensen sighed shakily and dipped forward, resting his forehead against Jared's.

"It...it feels harder than anything else, not kissing you." Jared sighed softly. "You know, I've only ever had one _real_ kiss on the lips and it was a joke." He didn't think of his stolen pecks while Jensen was sleeping as real kisses; Jared wanted more of that heat he'd felt the night Christian's mouth had crushed against his, so hot and wet. His feelings for Christian were genuinely confined to friendship and he'd _still_ felt the slightest spark of heat. "How do you, do Companions learn how to kiss... and stuff?" As usual Jared could feel a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"We don't," Jensen said quietly, leaning more firmly into Jared's body and resuming stroking his hair, relieved that the tense moment was over. "We are not touched until we come here. You know how I mentioned about the babies not being held? At one they stop comforting us. Then the only time we are touched is for medical purposes. And to touch others is completely forbidden. They would let us go if we were to touch another," Jensen shook his head, slight frown on his face as he thought back to the Clean Home, to Purity, to a place that felt a whole world away.

"That makes me want to hold you all the time, every moment you're here with me." Jared's voice was soft and he leaned in to Jensen's touch. One of his favourite things was the feel of his Companion's fingers sliding through his hair. It sent the most remarkable sensations spinning down Jared's flesh, tingling, almost like a cool heat. Picking up Jensen's free hand Jared pulled it up to his mouth so he could kiss the pads of each of Jensen's fingers.

"I would like if you held me every moment I'm here with you," Jensen said quietly, turning toward him to press a kiss below his ear. "Sometimes, I think I would like to never stop touching you," Jensen admitted, eyes fluttering closed as he breathed in Jared's familiar scent.

"Mmmhmmm." Jared sighed as the last the tension left his body. "Let's go to Mom and Dad's," he murmured, bottom lip dragging across Jensen's palm. Latching his mouth onto the tender flesh of Jensen's wrist he sucked hard, teeth scraping the sensitive flesh.

Moaning softly, Jensen nodded, secretly wishing they could just lay here in bed all day. "Do you think your sister will like me?" He asked quietly, dragging his teeth along his lower lip, shifting on the bed as his arousal grew.

Jared laughed softly against Jensen's wrist. "Yeah," he murmured, kissing his way up Jensen's arm, "she's gonna think you're hot. She’ll be all jealous." The tip of Jared's tongue danced over the inside of Jensen's elbow as his other hand snaked across Jensen's chest. His fingers pressed hard against Jensen's hardening nipple, teasing then pinching the nub of flesh hard.

"H-hey..." Jensen gasped and shook his head. "We won't be going anywhere if you keep..." his head tilted back slightly and he curled his fingers into Jared's arms, flopping back on the bed and pulling Jared over his body.”Jared," Jensen murmured, hands sliding across his Possessor's jaw line.

Jared's eyelids felt heavy, his body sinking down willingly against Jensen's. All that separated them was the thin cotton of their boxers and Jared could feel the hard line of Jensen's arousal pressing against his hip. Shifting slightly he rubbed his body across Jensen's, hips and crotches grinding together. Growling softly Jared buried his face in Jensen's neck and dragged his mouth down, wet and hot, licking and sucking at smooth flesh.

Gasping, Jensen's hips rocked up against Jared's, groaning as pleasure coursed through him. "Hands," he whispered, grabbing Jared's wrists and shifting him around until wide hands spread across his skin. “Jared," he moaned his name, his own hands sliding down Jared's back, not stopping as he reached Jared's boxers. Jensen's fingers slid under the elastic, running along the curve of his ass, hesitating for a moment before grazing along the crack.

" _God_ , Jensen." Jared's body twisted, spine arching up and sending a wave of motion down his body. "You can't – you, if you touch me... like this..." Darting forward Jared chased Jensen's mouth with heated, wet kisses. Whimpering he slid his body across his Companion's; wanting his mouth, wanting a _kiss_ like he'd never wanted anything in his life. His cock was swollen and heavy, pressed hard against the gentle curve of Jensen's hip bone.

"I should," Jensen panted as his head rolled back into the pillow, trying to keep his lips from gliding across Jared's despite the intense _need_ for it, "stop?" He gasped out the word even as his fingers pressed further down the crack, hips jerking up with the thrill.

Jensen was convinced that Jared was the _hottest_ thing on this planet and their grinding, rubbing, almost there touches burned through him like an ever present fire. Bending his wrist slightly, Jensen's finger extended until it brushed just barely over puckered flesh, Jensen's hips snapping up as the touch shot sparks up his arm.

Surprised, a heated flash of lust sent Jared's body lurching forward. As his body dragged up against Jensen's he could feel _everything_. "You're so hard," Jared's palm slid down Jensen's side, his thumb grazing the heat of Jensen's arousal. His mouth moved, slick and fast down Jensen's jaw, under his chin. His tongue lapped and dragged all the way down Jensen's neck, desperate and frantic, hands slipping under his Companion's ass so he could bear down on him.

"I really want you," Jensen murmured, pressing Jared's body hard down into his so their clothed cocks could slide together. "Never wanted something so bad." Jensen's vision felt blurry and it nearly hurt to pull in deep gulps of air. He wanted to beg for more, wanted Jared to wrap his hands around him and bring him to completion, wanted _everything_ and waiting seemed like the worst idea ever. But he kept his pleas to himself, biting down on his lip as his finger continued its gentle rub against Jared's entrance, not parting the flesh but enjoying the way it shifted under his touch.

Shuddering, Jared gasped out a long moan and fell forward onto Jensen's body, panting and trembling as he tried to get his want under control. He mumbled into Jensen's chest, "I can't keep doing this... gonna die..." He was so hard his balls were aching and it felt like there was a slow burning fire in his belly.

Jared's ass was clenched, his body aching for _more_ from Jensen. It had gone beyond being a conscious thought; all that was left was Jared's ache for Jensen, ache for his lips, for his body and when they were apart - the most simple and breath-taking ache for his presence. "Jensen, I'd better, uh..." He rolled away, groaning loudly and covering his eyes with his arm. "Cold shower," he muttered.

For a moment Jensen simply laid on the bed, panting roughly, blinking up into the air once occupied by Jared. Then his body snapped into motion and he flipped over, dragging Jared roughly up the mattress and pulling at his boxers. Jensen tossed the material across the room and dropped half over Jared's hips, holding him in place and opening his mouth wide to suck the hard line of his Possessor's cock into his mouth. Pressing his free hand into Jared's balls, rolling the silky skin over his palm, Jensen sucked greedily on Jared, pulling back enough to growl, "come in my mouth Jared, I want the taste of you." Jensen's hips rocked gently down into the mattress, just enough to alleviate the pressure as he sucked red swollen flesh once more between his lips.

Jared's upper body jolted up off the bed, hands flailing forward and grabbing at Jensen's hair and his shoulder. " _Fuck_ ," he hissed, fist tightening hard on Jensen's soft curls. The shock of it, the heat of Jensen's mouth sent Jared's blood tearing through his veins. His hips rocked up immediately, cock sliding deeper into the moist heat. Of all things, it was probably the words that sent Jared over the edge.

Jensen's breath puffed out over the sensitive head of Jared's cock still moist with spit and pre-come and Jensen _wanted_ him. Jared fell back against the mattress, hips snapping up then settling into a roll. Heaving in a shuddering breath Jared gasped, moaned and came. His entire body jolted in time with each throbbing pulse of his cock in Jensen's mouth. Eyes blurring he somehow managed to get his hand to Jensen's cheek, rubbing gently.

Jensen sucked Jared down, taking everything he had to offer with his release, enjoying the explosion of taste across his tongue. As Jared grew soft in his mouth Jensen pulled back, sliding up to stare down at his Possessor. Jensen placed a gentle kiss right beside his belly button and smiled, sliding toward the edge of the bed. "You should shower, get ready. I um... will do likewise," he nodded, resolutely not touching the heat in his crotch. He'd get to the shower, get himself, and not cause Jared any more grief that he couldn't do the touching yet. Their time would come.

Rolling lazily Jared crawled to the side of the bed and almost fell off. "Come with me," he held out his hand and shuffled forward, eyes still heavy-lidded. Tugging Jensen closer Jared curled his fingers over the waist band of his Companion's boxers, lifting them carefully over swollen flesh. "I won't touch - I can hold you," Jared licked his lips, eyes wild, and hair clinging to his face in damp wisps.

Debating with himself silently for a moment Jensen considered going off and taking care of issues by himself. Staying with Jared was a much more pleasing alternative. Nodding swiftly he turned and stepped out of boxers as they dropped to the ground, tugging Jared across the room to his bathroom.

Jared was still stumbling slightly in a post orgasmic haze so Jensen pushed the shower door open and started up the water, getting it to a pleasantly warm temperature before looking back at Jared. "You can touch in places... just not..." Jensen swallowed and shook his head, stepping into the shower and sliding back to give room for Jared.

Jared got into the shower quickly, bottom lip caught between his teeth. Sliding his body in behind Jensen's he pressed his chest to Jensen's back, pushing his Companion forward under the stream of hot water. His hands slid down Jensen's sides, forward to curve over his hips as his mouth slid teasingly down the back of Jensen's neck. Water splashed up into Jared's face and he gasped, rolling his hips forward against Jensen's ass - already feeling his cock trying to stir once more.

Leaning back into Jared's body, Jensen curled his fingers around the base of his cock and stroked up quickly. "Jared." Jensen twisted slightly, body curving with Jared's. "Put your hand over mine. Don't touch but, but..." Blood was pulsing in Jensen's ear loudly, mixed with the echoing spray of the shower, and Jensen's knees felt week. Jensen's head dipped back to rest on Jared's shoulder, hips jerking up into his fist.

Biting hard on Jensen's shoulder, Jared's hand slid forward, fingers curling over Jensen's hand. He couldn't say it was an accident that his thumb brushed the silken heat of Jensen's cock, Jensen could believe what he wanted. Before Jensen could protest, Jared grabbed his Companion's jaw and turned his head so he could kiss and bite his way down Jensen's jaw. Matching Jensen's strokes, he moaned softly as his tongue darted out to lap the splashing water off Jensen's cheek. Reaching down, he slid his hand down Jensen's water-slick chest. _God_ his body was everything Jared wanted, curves and muscles, hard and soft, smooth skin. Jensen leaned back against him, against the already swelling heat of Jared's cock.

So many requests, wants and desires, _needs_ , hovered just on the tip of Jensen's tongue and he clamped his lips shut to keep them inside. Having Jared's hand over his as he stroked, feeling the occasional brush along his skin that he could rightly pretend was his own doing, was tugging on the edges of his release, and pushing him along. He could feel Jared's cock beginning to press against his body once more and a breathless chuckle left his lips. "Again huh?" He whispered, neck tilting to the side to give Jared more access to his skin.

"It's you," Jared growled, sucking hard on a patch of flesh below Jensen's ear. His tongue moved over the skin, knowing there would be a mark there later. He moaned, thinking of everyone knowing that Jensen was _his_ and rocked his hips forward into the smooth warmth of Jensen's ass.

Slithering down Jensen's back he fell to his knees, lips sliding over the wet skin of his Companion's back, his ass. He turned Jensen, still stroking his cock as he continually matched Jensen's rhythm. Moaning softly, water beating down on his upturned face, Jared licked his way down the jut of Jensen's hip bone, lapping at the water running in rivulets down his body.

"Oh," Jensen breathed and curled his hand into Jared's hair, sucking in quick breaths to calm the racing in his heart. They were dancing along a fine line, _so_ close, one little step and they'd be breaking rules that Jensen couldn't let happen. "Jared, Jared..." he moaned on repeat, hips snapping up as his hand quickened strokes. "So, so close. God..." he growled, forcing his eyes open to stare at Jared's knelt body before him.

Jared's fingers curled around his own cock, both hands moving in the same steady stroke. He could feel the muscles in Jensen's body tensing as his release overtook him and slid sideways, burying his face in the damp curls at the base of his Companion's cock. His own hips twitched forward sharply and he came again, face buried in the scent of his _lover_ , water drumming down on his back, heart thundering in his chest.

Jensen nearly collapsed as his orgasm coursed through him, hard enough to snap his hips forward into Jared's body. A loud moan tore from him, come spraying along his hand, possible over Jared's, down onto his Possessor's back. Jensen released his hold and twisted his hand to link fingers with Jared's, falling back against the shower wall and tugging Jared up. Jensen buried his nose into Jared's neck, holding him tight against his body, heart slowly returning to normal.

Chest heaving, Jared leaned hard into Jensen's body and let the hot water drill into his back. Shifting slightly, he pressed his lips to Jensen's ear, "thank you," he whispered. His fingers tangled in Jensen's wet curls, pushing the dark wisps of hair back off his forehead. "Glad you found me," he sighed happily. The heat of the water, steaming air in his lungs, his drained body all conspired to make his a little dizzy, disoriented. Smiling, he stepped under the water and let it pour down of his head.

"I'm glad too," Jensen murmured and trailed his hand lazily down Jared's side. They were probably gonna be late to lunch but Jensen _really_ didn't care.


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm nervous," Jensen admitted quietly to Jared, hand resting along his lower back and finger hooked in Jared's belt loop. "Is your dad nicer than your mom?" Jensen hovered behind Jared slightly, looking up at his profile before turning back to the front door.

Jared reached behind him and threaded his fingers through Jensen's then tugged him up to his side. Turning slightly he kissed Jensen's forehead and smoothed his hair back. "My Dad is evil and hates everyone," he grinned and opened the door, pulling his Companion in with him.

"Jared," Jensen whispered, eyes wide as he trailed after the man. He might have said more but a loud squeal sounded from across the entry way and suddenly a short brunette was running across the room and throwing herself on Jared.

Megan squealed loudly and squeezed Jared tightly, " _Jesus_ Jared I've only been waiting _forever_ for you to come over! What the hell took you so long?"

Laughing Jared dropped Jensen's hand for long enough to pick his sister up off the ground and squeeze her till she shrieked. "I was getting to know, Jensen." He grinned and dropped her back on the ground. "Meg," he reached out and took Jensen's hand, "this is Jensen. Jensen? My insane teenage sister Megan." Turning to nod at Jensen he urged him forward.

"Nice to meet you Miss," Jensen said softly and instinctively dipped his head, forcing himself to look up a few moments later when it remained silent. The minute his eyes met hers, her face broke into a wide grin and she stepped forward to throw her arms around him in a tight hug. Jensen stepped back, eyes wide as his arm went around her waist to steady himself. The hug was the last thing he expected and he coughed slightly, glancing toward Jared.

"Nice to meet you too!" Megan grinned as she stepped back and nodded at him. "I've heard a lot about you. And... you definitely live up to expectations," her eyes dropped head to toe and back up before she turned to Jared and grinned. "He's hot." She added and Jensen's face flushed.

"He's also standing right here!" Jared flicked at her ponytail. "Jensen, you can call her Megan, she won't mind. My sister is too uncouth to stand on ceremony." Grinning he bumped Jensen's shoulder and leaned down to whisper to Meg, "and he _is_ hot."

Megan grinned brighter and bobbed her head in agreement, looking back at Jensen. "Yeah, you can call me Megan. Miss sounds way too weird and that's what Nicole and Matthew call me. So yeah, weird."

Jensen's lips twitched in a smile and he nodded, "alright, thank you, Megan."

"No problemo," Megan stared at him a moment longer before looking back at Jared. "Mom and Dad are in the study, finishing up some paper work stuff. They said we could meet them in the living room. Jeff can't make it," she informed, already turning and heading down the hall, still babbling away about their older brother.

Jensen leaned toward Jared and whispered, "I see the talking thing runs in the family."

"Jensen," Jared teased, "are you insinuating that I talk a lot?" Laughing softly he pulled Jensen down the hallway behind Megan. The living room was bright in the afternoon sun and Jared smiled remembering all the afternoons spent there with his family. Jared flopped down on the long sofa and kicked his feet up on the coffee table then patted the sofa beside him, "come sit with me, Jensen." A warm smile flooded his face as he looked up at Jensen and lifted his hand, conscious of Megan's eyes on them. She didn't miss much.

Walking slowly across the room Jensen took Jared's hand, linking their fingers together as he dropped down on the couch beside him. "This is okay?" he asked quietly, looking at Jared to ensure he was alright.

"I think it's sweet," Megan pointed out and walked around to take the seat across from them. "Can't say mom's gonna be excited about. Dad either. But we all know that it's really my opinion that matters most." She grinned at Jensen when he looked at her.

"It's fine, Jensen. It's what I want. I even want my loud-mouthed sister to know that I'm _with_ you." He winked at Megan's slightly surprised face then looked a bit more serious for a moment. "You think Mom's gonna freak?" He kept his voice low, glancing over his shoulder once quickly.

"Freak? That you're not gonna get married and have babies?" Megan's eyebrows lifted slightly. "Have you met our mother? Of course she's gonna freak. But I don't think she'll disown you or anything, she'll probably just need some time. Matthew already knows about you two so maybe he's put the idea in her mind."

"Matthew knows?" Jensen asked in surprised, looking at Jared then back at Megan.

"Well yeah, he said it was pretty obvious what was gonna happen from the moment he saw you two," she grinned and nodded. "I understand why."

Shrugging, Jared knew he was blushing. "I like Jensen, didn't think it was _that_ obvious though,” he mumbled.

Matthew held a fond place in Jared's heart. He was a caring man, warmth and comfort had always radiated from him when he'd spent time with Jared as he grew up. It was actually kind of nice to think that Matthew had noticed, cared enough about Jared to see that kind of thing on his face. Pulling Jensen's hand onto his lap he smiled shyly at him. "Guess, I wasn't keeping much of a secret," he whispered.

"Companion's are trained to pick up on different things," Jensen pointed out quietly.

"Jared, we didn't even you arrive," Jerry said by way of greeting as he and his wife walked into the living room, smiles wavering almost in unison as they looked at the two boys on the couch. "This must be Jensen."

Jensen was up off the couch in a flash, rising to show respect for the two, eyes turned down in habit. "Yes sir, ma'am, nice to see you again."

"Mm," Sheri hummed quietly and looked around him. "Jared, come give your mother a hug."

Pushing up off the couch Jared stepped forward and pulled his Mom forward for a quick squeeze then stepped past her to hug his Dad. "Hi Dad, it's good to see you." Stepping back, Jared swallowed and held his hand back behind him for Jensen. He knew it would be a difficult step for Jensen - everything in his Companion's being would be trying to revert back to his training. When Jensen's fingers slipped into his Jared smiled, relief flooding through him as he tugged the man forward. "Dad, you haven't met my...Jensen." He grinned, "Jensen, this is my Dad."

"Sir," Jensen nodded, glancing up at him and blinking in surprise as a hand was extended toward him.

"It's nice to meet you, Jensen," Jerry smiled as Jensen's hand slid out to grasp his, shaking twice before pulling back.

"Lunch is almost ready, Jensen why don't you go help Nicole in the kitchen and Jared, you can catch us up on things," Sheri suggested politely, smiling at her son, eyes shooting to Megan for a second when the girl made an odd scoffing noise.

Jared stiffened slightly; he'd expected a moment like this - just maybe not quite so soon. "Mom, Jensen's here to meet you all. He's my date; can we treat him like that?" His fingers tightened on Jensen's hand and he was sure the man could feel him tremble. "It's important to me, Mom." Looking up Jared's lips twitched into a slight smile as he met his Mother's gaze.

"He's your... date?" Sheri repeated slowly, eyes shooting toward her husband before turning back to Jared. "Well I... I... Jared I really think we should have some family time to discuss this, Jensen can join us for lunch in a few minutes okay? You don't want to discuss family affairs in front of your..." she waved her hand in the air in front of her, fumbling with the word.

Jensen stepped into Jared slightly and glanced at him. He'd do whatever Jared wanted him to. It seemed safer to stay with Jared but this seemed like it could easily slip into a tense moment and he didn't want it to get too awkward.

"Mom, Jensen and I are very close. You know I never wanted a Companion; I wanted a partner, someone who was my equal. I think Jensen could really be that for me. Now, Mom, I respect and I love you a great deal. You are a loving, fair and wonderful woman. But...” Jared let his hand fall from Jensen's so he could slip his arm round the man's waist and pull him up to his side. "If Jensen isn't welcome here, as my equal then we'll be leaving." His hands were shaking and quite honestly, he wasn't sure that he wouldn't just hit the ground... but... he could feel Jensen's finger tug gently on his belt loop, his warmth pressed against the cotton of his shirt and it just felt right.

Silence settled over the family room and Jensen swallowed thickly, lifting his eyes to watch a strong hand curl around Sheri's shoulder. For a moment he thought it belonged to her husband but then he spotted Matthew behind her, smiling softly at them and giving a brief nod in greeting. The touch seemed to visibly relax Sheri and Jensen looked away out of politeness, feeling oddly weird watching a Companion interact with their Possessor.

"How about we move to the dining room?" Jerry suggested a moment later when it seemed no one was going to speak. "I'm sure lunch is ready by now, and I'm starving." He glanced at his wife, half stepping back out of the room.

"You're always starving," Megan pointed out and ruffled a hand through Jared's hair as she moved passed them to bump into her father and edge him out of the room.

Sheri was still staring at Jared and she slowly nodded, stepping away from Matthew and heading out of the room after her husband and daughter. Matthew's smile faltered, watching her go before looking back at Jared and Jensen. He stepped forward and reached out to squeeze Jared's shoulder. "She'll come around, you know how she always had each of you kid’s lives picked out before you were two," he smiled softly and nodded before stepping back and turning to follow his Possessor.

Jensen blinked in slight surprise before turning to Jared and laying a hand on his hip. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly, running a soothing hand up Jared's back.

Clearing his throat Jared lifted his hand to his cheek, "I think I bit my tongue." Blinking, wide-eyed, a slight smile crept onto his face and he blew out a breath. "Well," he shrugged, tugging at the neck of his shirt. "How are you?"

Jensen's lips twitched into a smile and he looked down slightly, "well, I feel a little less like I'm going to be sick to my stomach so, that's progress." He smiled at Jared as he looked back up and slid a hand through his hair. "Do we really have to go in there and eat lunch with them?" Jensen glanced over his shoulder at the door, wondering if they could just make a break for the front door.

Laughing as quietly as he could Jared steered Jensen toward the dining room. "Would kinda make all that tension pointless if we didn't now." Curling his hands over Jensen's shoulders he walked him toward the doorway, leaning down to steal a quick kiss just below his ear. "Have I mentioned today how great you are?"

"I may have assumed," Jensen whispered, looking toward him with a slight smirk. "Giving how well this morning went." He hesitated just outside the door, allowing Jared to go first.

"It did go well," he announced as he walked into the dining room to stand behind his regular seat at the table. "Sit beside me, Jensen." Jared pulled out Jensen's chair for him and waited for the man to sit, "here you are." He smiled, watching the blush grow on Jensen's cheeks.

Jensen felt mildly awkward taking the seat, sliding forward, eyes lifting to catch Matthew stepping out of the room presumably to go get their lunches. He should be doing that, it was his duty, and he had to swallow down the uncomfortable stirring.

"So Jared, how have you been doing? Sold any art?" Jerry asked his son, sipping from his water glass quietly.

Slipping into his chair beside Jensen, Jared smiled at his father. "Yeah, a few pieces from the gallery on Main. They want to feature my work in their spring gallery showing." He glanced at Jensen, remembering how excited they'd both been about the gallery showing. "A couple of commissions too. It's going really well." He pulled his napkin off the table and set it on his lap.

"That's great Jared," Sheri piped up, giving him a brief smile before continuing, "and how did your date with Sandy go hmm?"

Megan scoffed once more and rolled her eyes, catch Jensen's gaze from across the table and smiling in an almost apologetic way. Jensen shifted his leg under the table to press against Jared's.

"She was very sweet, Mom. You were right, funny thing is she's kind of the reason that Jensen and I realized what we meant to each other. She thought that was really sweet when I told her." He grinned at Megan, suddenly feeling like he had the greatest sister in the world.

"Oh, I see," Sheri nodded and reached out for her water glass, looking up in relief when Matthew and Nicole came into the dining room balancing a large salad bowl and a tray of some Italian flat bread sandwiches Jensen had never seen before. "Lunch, good. Thank you Matthew and Nicole," she nodded and half glanced at Jensen before looking down.

The two Companions went about setting the food up and Jensen leaned over to Jared, whispering quietly, "I feel guilty eating here with you when they can't."

Jared slipped his hand over Jensen's thigh and squeezed gently. "I can only fight for you," he whispered, "but I know what you mean." He coughed, covering his discomfort. "Mom? How's Jeff? Meg said he couldn't be here today?"

Jensen settled back in his chair and took the salad server from whom he assumed was Nicole before she could dish him out food. He smiled up at her and she returned it just briefly, something flashing in her eyes that Jensen couldn't read.

"Well," Sheri brightened at the turn of conversation, her smile growing wide. "Your brother has met a very nice woman. Apparently they've been seeing each other for some time though he neglected to tell us."

"I think they're gonna get married," Megan piped up around a mouthful of food, clamping her mouth shut a moment later when her mom shot her a look.

Jared couldn't help the laugh that shot out of his mouth. After all, he wasn't surprised that Jeff didn't want to subject his girlfriend to the inquisition. He stifled his laugh with his napkin trying not to look at Meg across the table. "Well, I hope he's happy - that's all that's important, right?" He grinned at Jensen and dropped his napkin back to his lap.

"We'll be meeting her soon, we'll have to arrange a family gathering," Jerry pointed out, tucking into his salad.

Sheri launched into details of what she knew about Jeff's girlfriend and Jensen slightly tuned her out in favour of pursuing his salad. It was really good and he made a note to ask Nicole or Matthew what recipe they used. It was odd but not entirely unpleasant to be dining with Jared's family and feeling like one of them. But Jensen couldn't help glancing up at the two other Companions standing dutifully behind their respective Possessor's. He'd never had an issue with the subject before but being with Jared, experiencing how different it could be, made him see things through different eyes.

Eventually Megan cut her mother off and asked Jared, "how's everything else going? All settled into your apartment?"

"Yeah, Jensen's even done some decorating." Jared smiled and stuck a slightly-too-large lettuce leaf in his mouth. Holding his hand up to his lips he mumbled around it, "mouthful...tell 'er, Jensen." He nudged Jensen with his knee.

"Oh um," Jensen looked startled at being brought into the conversation, glancing at Jared before turning to Megan. "We got some art pieces, when Jared went to sale some paintings. Nothing too fancy. And some books." He half smiled and blurted out, "I like books."

Megan giggled and nodded enthusiastically, "I like books too."

"Did you oversee Jared's transactions?" Sheri asked, bringing her water glass up to drink from.

Jensen nodded quickly, "yes. I ensured he was getting a good deal though I don't know much about art. Jared is very talented." He smiled over at Jared before looking back down at his plate.

"Well that's good," Jerry smiled and looked around the table for a minute before asking, "are you going to be having a house warming party soon Jared? Maybe after Jensen's trial period is up?"

Jared's expression softened as he looked across the table at his father, surprised that his father was being as accepting as he was. "Yeah," Jared slipped his hand over Jensen's on the table. "I think that would be a great idea. Mom? Maybe you could help with the planning; you always know how to do things like that." Jared smiled warmly at his mom.

Sheri brightened at the idea and nodded, "yes, that sounds like a good idea. You'll have to let me know when I can start planning."

"I can help," Megan added and grinned at the boys.

The conversation instantly sparked off into potential things needing to be arranged for a house warming party and Jensen and Jared shared a smile as they let the two women discuss things. Eventually Jerry broke in and started off about his company, informing Jared of the latest changes in policy and how that was affecting the workers. Jensen tuned that part of the conversation out mostly, enjoying instead the casual flow of things, the gentle and reassuring touches from Jared, and the delicious food. It was all going a lot better than he'd anticipated and relief swam through him. Getting Jared's families approval meant a lot to both of them and even Sheri seemed to be warming up to things. Or at least not shooting Jensen death threats which was a plus.

Once everyone had finished eating Jerry insisted Jared come with him to his work study to look at their latest project and Jensen opted out, helping clear the dishes from the table instead. It was comforting to do something expected of him and Sheri seemed pleased as she and Megan trailed after the two boys out of the room. Jared's family's house was huge so Jensen waited behind in the dining room until he could follow Nicole through the hallway to the kitchen.

"Wow, I think our living room and kitchen could fit in here," Jensen pointed out as they stepped into the wide open white space.

Nicole glanced at him and shrugged, "only the best for the Padalecki family."

There was a note of something unpleasant in her tone and Jensen frowned as he slid the dishes into the sink, turning the water to run over them. "How long have you been with Mr. Padalecki?"

"Since he was eighteen," she said flatly, scooping the remaining salad into a storage container. "Before he married and had a family."

"Wow," Jensen smiled softly, thinking about being with Jared that long into the future. "Will you stay until your age of retirement?"

"I have to," she pointed out and looked at Jensen as if he should know this. "I see you and the young Master are getting along fairly well."

"Jared? He's the best Possessor I could have imagined. Better than," Jensen smiled fondly and began cleaning the dishes with a sponge.

Nicole hummed in a non committal way and Jensen thought that was going to be the end of their conversation but she continued on a few minutes later, "you're fooling yourself you know."

"Excuse me?" Jensen frowned in confusion, stopping with the sponge halfway along a plate and looking back at her. "Fooling myself?"

"If you think he'll be satisfied with you forever. It doesn't work that way Jensen. You may please him now but you'll still always be a Companion, a slave, and that's what it boils down to."

Jensen's frown deepened and he reached up to turn off the water, turning to face her back completely. "Jared's not like that... he... he cares for me..." Jensen was thrown by the turn in the conversation, wondering why the woman sounded so bitter.

"Oh, he says that now. But Jared is young. And you're only a temporary fixation. Even if he keeps you after the thirty days, you'll still just be his slave and that gets boring after awhile," she shrugged and slid the leftover salad into the fridge, walking to the sink and brushing Jensen out of the way. She hesitated there and then finally turned to meet his gaze. "You will fall in love with him, and he'll never love you the same. We're just like puppies, fun little pets to play with until they grow up and taking them on walks becomes a necessity." Nicole turned from him dismissively, reaching out to turn the water on.

Jensen was temporarily rooted to the spot, shock running through him at the cold sadness in her eyes. Swallowing thickly to shove the sparks of doubt curling up in him away, Jensen turned and headed out of the kitchen, brushing past Matthew who may have said something but Jensen didn't register it. He had no idea where Jerry's study room was so he returned to the living room, standing just inside the door, hand lifting up to run along the silver band around his wrist.

He knew Jared was different, he _knew_ it, but the woman's words haunted him none the less.

As soon as Jared's father gave him a chance, Jared slipped out of the study and went looking for Jensen. It was going well, he was pleased with the way everyone has settled into being themselves and he just wanted to check in with Jensen. When he found him in the living room he looked troubled. "Hey," Jared slipped into the room and pushed the door closed behind him. "You alright?"

"Can we go soon?" Jensen turned to Jared, dropping his hands and stepping forward slightly. _Just his slave_ was echoing around his mind and Jensen swallowed, dropping his gaze to the ground.

Jared brushed the backs of his fingers across Jensen's cheek. "What happened? Did my Mom say something to you?" Jared glanced over his shoulder and stepped back toward the door. "I'll get her in here and we'll straighten this out."

"No, no, it wasn't your mom. She's been very nice," Jensen reassured and reached out to grab Jared's hand and keep him from going anywhere. "I... it's just... did you know that Nicole is in love with your dad?" He didn't mean to blurt it out like that and it made him uncomfortable even discussing this here where anyone might hear. "Like, like really in love. A lot. Probably for a really long time."

"I -" Jared's mouth opened then closed and he took a few moments to try and process what Jensen had said. "With my Dad? Well," shrugging he walked over to the couch and sat down heavily. "No, I didn't know that but i mean, they've been together forever. It's not surprising that she has feelings for him, I'm sure Dad cares about her." Jared's brow furrowed.

"Not the same way though," Jensen pointed out, shuffling from one foot to the other. "It's... it's not like us. Right? I mean, your dad is married and so Nicole will always just be his sl- Companion. So your mom comes first and Nicole's just there for, whatever your dad wants."

Jensen frowned, wondering why he'd never seen how the real life of a Companion could be before he left the Clean Home. They kept so much hidden from them and that hardly seemed fair.

"Are you asking me if I'm going to keep you and then marry someone?" Jared couldn't help looking a little hurt.

"No," Jensen shook his head, telling himself it was true. "It's just - what she said. She... said we were like puppies. Me. That I was like a puppy. And it was fun now but then we'd grow up and-" he rolled his shoulders in a shrug, keeping his eyes on the ground. "I'm sorry. I guess I was just surprised by how bitter she sounded."

"Well, I guess if she loves him and doesn't think he feels the same way. Jensen I've only told you the truth. I try to make sure you know what I'm thinking. But, if you and I decide to stay together it's not going to be something that I get _tired_ of or _give up_ on. I want to spend my life with someone that I..." Jared rolled his bottom lip under his teeth unable to quite put his thoughts into words. "If that's you and I, we'll know right?" Jared's lips twitched nervously into a smile.

"I know," Jensen nodded, returning the slight smile. His mind was stuck on _if you and I decide to stay together_ and what that meant but he didn't voice any questions about it. He hated to see Jared upset in anyway and he frowned again, wishing he'd just kept his mouth shut about the whole Nicole situation. "So are we staying here for awhile? Did you finish looking at your father's work things?" Jensen opted for a change in conversation, hoping they would be leaving soon so he didn't have to share any more encounters with Nicole.

"Dad and I are all finished; we can go if you want." Jared sighed, "Just gotta say good-bye. Meg will have my head if she doesn't get to give you another squeeze before we leave." Jared stood and held out his hand for Jensen. "C'mon, we should say bye to Matthew too, hey," he hauled Jensen up to his feet. "You want to stop by Chad's on the way home? Say hi to him and Stephanie?" Jared reached up to smooth Jensen's hair back again, it had been sticking up all day and Jared found it to be remarkably, well, cute.

"Sure," Jensen nodded, lacing his fingers with Jared's. "Though, truthfully, Chad kind of scares me," he admitted quietly, a slight smile on his face.

"Scares you?" Jared laughed, "You do know he's the one who talked me into, well, you and I right?" Grinning he leaned down without even thinking to kiss Jensen and stopped a hair's breadth away from his lips. "S..sorry," he murmured, feeling the heat of Jensen's breath float across his mouth. "I wasn't thinking." Stepping back he scratched at the side of his head. "I just forget sometimes."

Jensen swayed forward slightly, biting down on his bottom lip and nodding.”Yeah, I... I wish," Jensen sighed quietly and shook his head, stepping forward to wrap his arms around Jared and lay his head on his Possessor's shoulder. "Soon," he whispered, tilting his head up to brush a kiss to Jared's neck. He settled into Jared's warmth as arms circled around him and held him close, a familiar comfort.

"Here you boys-oh," Sheri pulled up to a halt as she opened the door, stepping forward when Megan bumped into her back before peeking around her and grinning brightly.

Jensen stepped back from Jared, head instantly dropping down to hide the blush along his cheeks.

Reaching out Jared snagged hold of Jensen's t-shirt to keep him from getting too far away. "Hey Mom, we were just gonna come find you guys. Jensen and I have to head over to see Chad." Winking at Meg Jared held out his arms, "come give me a big smooch sis."

Megan grinned and slid across the room, pulling Jared into a tight hug and kissing his cheek before stepping back and repeating the action on Jensen, giggling when he blushed brightly. "Say hi to Chad for me. Though not too enthusiastically, don't want him getting any ideas," she laughed and shook her head, stepping back.

Sheri stepped forward as well and gave Jared a tight hug, kissing his cheek before pulling back and smiling briefly at Jensen. "You boys be safe."

"We will Mom, say good-bye to Dad for us. He disappeared somewhere out back." Grinning Jared pulled Jensen toward the door and ran head first into Matthew. "God, Matthew, I'm sorry." He stepped to the side before Jensen ran into him. "We're taking off, gonna see Chad. Thanks for lunch." Jared smiled when Jensen's fingers slipped into his. It was the first time Jensen had taken his hand without being invited.

Matthew smiled and reached out to squeeze Jared's shoulder than Jensen's. "You're welcome. Have a good time," he dropped his hand and stepped back.

Jensen let Jared pull him toward the door, glancing back and catching just a flash of Nicole watching them before he stepped into Jared's side. They called a final goodbye to the family as they headed out down the front walk. Jensen brushed against Jared's side, reaching out to graze his hip and say softly, "I'm glad that went so well."

Laughing softly Jared pulled the car door open for Jensen. "You sure you _want_ to be part of the craziness that is the Padalecki family?" Leaning on the top of the car door he stretched over it to kiss Jensen's forehead.

Jensen smiled as he slid into the passenger seat and let Jared close the door, watching him walk around and tug his own door open. Once Jared was in the driver's seat, Jensen turned slightly and reached out to brush Jared's arm. "I would like to be part of your family. I've never been part of any family." He smiled softly, leaning forward to kiss Jared's shoulder.

Pulling the car out of the driveway Jared smiled.

-=-=-=-

"So, I said to her," Chad took a long drink from his beer and wiped the back of his hand along his lips. "I said, woman, do I look the kinda guy who drops my pants for anyone? I may have one sexy ass but I don't just share it for _free_. Jesus Christ do I look like some fucking male prostitute? Seriously, who does that shit?"

Jensen blinked a few times at Chad before sliding his gaze over to look at Jared. Chad was probably the _weirdest_ person Jensen knew and he was pretty sure they'd been talking about some sports game just minutes ago. How they got onto the topic of some lady who apparently approached Chad for sex at a bar was beyond him.

Choking on his beer Jared motioned for Jensen to smack his back.

Reaching out Jensen smacked hard against Jared's back a few times, taking Jared’s beer so he didn’t spill it. Glancing over at Stephanie he smiled and asked softly, "could you get some water?"

She nodded and pushed up from her spot on the couch to go get Jared his water. Chad laughed and shook his head. "Dude, it wasn't _that_ funny. I know I'm the shit but it's not worth dying over."

Jensen rubbed Jared's back soothingly, smile playing across his lips.

Finally able to laugh without coughing Jared reached over Jensen's lap to punch Chad. "God, dude, make sure I don't have a mouthful of anything next time." Wiping his sleeve across his mouth Jared waved his beer away when Jensen offered it back to him. "You drink it, I gotta drive." He glanced up when Stephanie returned with a glass of water for him, "Thanks, Steph." Leaning back on Chad's couch Jared sank down getting comfy and rested the glass on his thigh. "So, Steph, you still able to put up with Chad without wanting to kill him?"

Stephanie giggled slightly and curled into the couch beside Chad, glancing up at him as he slid an arm around her shoulders. "Well, there are moments," she said softly.

"Heeey, I'm the fuckin' shit," Chad teased and dipped forward to press a long kiss to her lips.

Jensen was still staring at the beer in his hands and he looked up, blushing when he saw them kissing then turning to Jared, "I've never had a beer before."

Chad broke the kiss and turned a big grin on him. "Shit man you've never had any alcohol huh? _Drink_ it."

"You might like it, Jensen." Jared nudged the man with his elbow. "Try it, I like the taste of it. Oh! Chad have you got anything more exotic for Jensen to try?" Grinning, Jared struggled up off the couch and wandered over to the bar, sorting through the bottles.

"Yeah, yeah," Chad nodded in excitement, pushing off the couch to bounce over to Jared's side and sort through bottles there.

Jensen stared at their backs for a long moment before slowly bringing the beer can to his lips and taking a testing sip. It wasn't _horrible_ but it wasn't the best thing he'd ever tasted. He glanced up at Stephanie who smiled at him. He liked Stephanie; her relationship with Chad seemed a little bit closer to his with Jared. Though Jared had mentioned that Stephanie spent a _lot_ of time physically pleasing Chad. Judging from what he knew of the man, that seemed easy to believe.

"Okay, so we got some fine drinks for you here Jensen," Chad grinned as he slid four different shot glasses on the table in front of him. "Whiskey, some tequila, my personal favourite the bourbon, and... whatever the fuck that is. Jared? Find anything more?" Chad looked up at his friend, stepping back from the table. "Oh and Jensen, you can use the beer as a chaser."

"What's a chaser?" Jensen asked, cautiously eying the drinks.

"Something to drink after these," Jared added as he sat back down on the couch. "I don't know what that other one is, Chad. I just liked the bottle." Grinning Jared bumped his knee against Jensen's. "Go on then. Try 'em." He supposed there were more mature ways to spend an evening but after the afternoon with his family he figured some stress relief was in order.

Jensen trusted Jared and knew he'd be there to make sure everything was okay so he wasn't nearly as nervous as he could have been. He generally understood that drinking a lot of alcohol got you drunk and he was, admittedly, a little curious as to how that would feel. Sliding forward, Jensen reached out to take the first shot that Chad had called whiskey. The three others in the room were watching him and he inhaled deeply before bringing the glass up and sucking it down in one large gulp. It burned down his throat and he coughed loudly, shaking his head around the sensation.

"My man!" Chad exclaimed and cheered Jensen on, arm flopping over Stephanie's shoulder once more.

Jared pumped his fist in the air and slid the next glass toward Jensen. "You're a natural," he chuckled while he spoke and leaned down to kiss Jensen's neck. "Chad gave me my first drink too - so this is like some kind of. What d'ya call it - kismet or... something." A puzzled frown slid onto Jared's face as he tried to figure out the right word.

"I think it's called Chad being a bad influence," Stephanie pointed out quietly.

They all looked at her for a moment before laughing loudly and Chad slid a hand through her hair, shaking his head. "See! I am totally rubbing off on her outside the use of my cock."

Jensen choked on his sip of beer and shook his head. "Clearly it's dangerous to drink anything here." He laughed softly, enjoying the warmth flooding through his system. He leaned forward and snatched the second drink, tequila, bringing it up to his lips and tipping it back. It burned more than the first and he quickly followed it up with a long swig of beer that definitely helped soothe his throat.

Shifting closer to Jensen, Jared slid his hand over Jensen's thigh and squeezed gently. He loved it when Jensen laughed and Jared was pleased that it was starting to happen more often. It lit up Jensen's face - even when he _was_ choking. "Hey, Chad. Do you have anything to snack on?" Jensen was always saying that Jared ate more than a normal human male should. Apparently, they'd studied that at the Clean House. The thought of it made Jared chuckle again. "So," he said as he turned to Jensen, "what's your favourite so far?"

Stephanie was already up heading to the kitchen and Jensen watched her for a moment before turning to Jared. Things were feeling decidedly... blurry. Fuzzy even. "Huh?" He asked then looked at the beer in his hand and nodded. "Oh the drinks. I like um... whiskey burned less. That tequila was um... kind of foul..." he chuckled softly and shook his head, shifting forward for the bourbon.

"See, man Jensen I knew I liked you for a reason. You're puttin' those back like a pro," Chad laughed, pushing off the couch. "Hey Steph get those mini pizzas," Chad called as he headed through the living room to the kitchen to help his Companion.

Jensen glanced at Jared slowly before bringing the bourbon to his lips and tossing it back. It was surprisingly smooth, gliding down his throat, and an explosion of heat burned through his chest. "Whoa," he murmured, laying his hand over Jared's on his thigh. "I... I like that.” He nodded slowly; feeling like his face was completely flushed with heat.

Snorting with laughter, Jared leaned down to nuzzle against Jensen's ear. "Want some more?" He couldn't resist brushing his lips across the rosy flush blooming on Jensen's cheek. "Drinking agrees with you," he murmured against Jensen's ear, "you look like this when you're turned on." He looked up as Chad came back into the room. "Chad! We need more bourbon for Jensen."

"Wise man," Chad nodded and headed for the bar, Stephanie entering the room a moment later and handing Jared a bag of chips.

Jared was smiling so much his cheeks were hurting so he wasn’t really paying much attention to how much Jensen was drinking. Stephanie was relaxing around them and chatting more than she ever had and Jared found her to be quite charming. Jensen? Well, he was chatting and laughing and his skin was flushed in the sexiest way and Jared just found himself sighing a lot. He was starting to feel like Jensen made him happy, that the man _was_ happiness. The sound of yet another glass clinking down on the table in front of Jared jolted him away from his thoughts. “Hey, how many drinks-“

"I gotta..." Jensen reached out for the remaining glass on the table. It was the one that Jared had found and he hadn’t tried it. Aiming for the glass he missed once, tried again and brought it to his lips. Tipping it back he almost choked on the liquid, face scrunching up in disgust. " _Ew_ that’s nasty shit," Jensen shook his head and pressed the glass into Jared's hand, draining the rest of his beer. _God_ the room was definitely spinning.

"I'll make a note of that," Chad snorted and pressed another full glass of bourbon into Jensen's hand. "Drink it man, it'll make the taste go away." Chad walked around to his previous seat and dropped down. "So Jay, dude, how's the rules going? Playing nice?" Chad smirked and sipped from his own glass of bourbon.

"Sip that one, don't down it," Jared warned. "Not that it's any of your business, Chad, but _yes_ we're following the rules, right Jensen?" Jared's lips twitched into a smile as he looked down at Jensen's bleary eyes.

"MMhmm, rules," Jensen mumbled vaguely and sipped from his drink, leaning heavily against Jared's body.

Chad smirked and reached out for a mini pizza as Stephanie brought them into the room. "Well I'm very impres-"

"Man!" Jensen interrupted, eyes expanding wide as he huffed out a breath. "I _hate_ those fuckin' rules! It's... it's like... like... _god_ ," Jensen scoffed and shook his head, taking a long drink from his glass, eyes slowly lifting to Chad who was currently laughing.

Jared burst out laughing. "Jensen! I've never heard you swear like that before." He leaned back on the couch clutching his stomach as his laughter started up again. "Chad, you broke my boyfri..." Jared's eyes widened and his mouth snapped shut, cheeks flushing instantly.

Chad's eyebrows lifted as he shared a look with Stephanie, pursing his lips together but barely managing to hide the smile. "No way dude, you were the one who fuckin' suggested hard liquor for a guy who's never even sipped a beer before now."

"He's cute," Stephanie pointed out and grinned when Chad scoffed and pulled her closer as if she knew her comment would trigger that type of response.

Jensen finished off his glass and slumped forward to set it on the table. Everything caught up with him a minute or so later and he practically flopped over Jared's lap. "Hey. You called me your boyfri..." Jensen trailed off like Jared had and grinned at him. "Tha’s nice. I like it." He slurred and shifted around, pushing himself up until he could crawl on Jared's lap and loop an arm around his shoulders, burying his nose into Jared's neck. "You... should call me tha more... mmkay," Jensen pressed a sloppy kiss into Jared's neck.

"OOooh boy," Jared chuckled. "Stephanie, could I trouble you for some more water for my lush?" Jared's arm snaked around Jensen's waist. Catching Chad's eye over Jensen's shoulder Jared grinned. " _You?_ Keep quiet." Jensen was warm and a little squirmy and Jared was beginning to realize that it was a _really_ good thing that _he_ was sober.

Stephanie grinned as she pushed up and headed into the kitchen to get some water, retrieving a beer for Chad automatically. Chad pasted on what might have been his innocent smile and eyed the two. "So, the gay life is workin' well for you then?"

"Gay!" Jensen perked up, turning in Jared's arms to peer at Chad. "I like to suck Jared's cock."

Chad choked on his drink of beer, leaning forward to slam his fist into his chest.

"Okay," Jared tried hard not to laugh for a few moments and failed miserably. "Jensen? I think you and I should head home." Laying two fingers along Jensen's jaw he turned the man's head towards him slowly, chuckling as Jensen looked surprised to see Jared was still there. "Jensen? Are you in there?"

"Mmm," Jensen nodded and lifted a hand to run his fingers over Jared's lips. "Wanna kiss you," he murmured and planted three fingers firmly over Jared's mouth before dipping forward and kissing his hand, slumping heavily into Jared's body.

"Aww," Stephanie said quietly, dropping by Chad and sliding the water across the table to the boys. "I feel bad for them," she said softly to Chad.

"It's a bitch alright," Chad nodded, still recovering from his almost death by beer choking.

Tightening his hold on Jensen, Jared leaned forward and stretched out to grab the water. "Jen," nuzzling against Jensen's cheek he held up the glass of water to the man's lips. "Drink some water for me, okay?" Jensen was still gorgeous. Even with his slack features, heavy-lidded bleary eyes and a silly grin, Jared's heart swelled with feeling. "Drink some then we'll go home." _Home._

"Then I can suck your cock?" Jensen asked and took the glass, taking long pulls from it.

Chad snorted and shook his head. "Dude. You gotta put a filter on that guy. Apparently alcohol shuts it off." His hand was sliding through Stephanie's hair, slight smile on both their faces.

"Jensen, no more talking till we get home." Jared pulled the glass out of Jensen's hand and set it back on the table. "Stephanie, Chad, thank you for a lovely evening. Thank you for getting my Jensen sloshed." Shifting Jensen off his lap slowly, Jared held the man's hips until he was sure he could stand on his own. "Jensen, say thank you." Pushing up from the couch Jared grabbed a mini pizza and popped it in his mouth then winked at Stephanie.

"Thank you," Jensen nodded then realized he was actually talking to the TV. Turning to the vague shape of people coming into view he grinned and nodded again. "Thank you. Lovely time." Jensen stumbled forward and patted Stephanie's head. "Best of luck."

A loud bark of laughter left Chad's lips and he shook his head. "Oh he kills me. Jared? Don't fuckin' let this one go, he's fuckin' hilarious."

Jensen grinned and stumbled backward for Jared.

Catching Jensen in his arms, Jared turned and walked them slowly toward the door. "C'mon, let's pour you in the car." Jared chuckled, half carrying, half pushing Jensen toward the door.

All in all it took about fifteen minutes to get down Chad's front walk and get Jensen buckled in the front seat of the car. There was a brief session of _what does this button do?_ in the car before Jared could get underway. By the time they got to their home, Jared had turned the windshield wipers off three times, repeatedly turned the radio down and pulled over twice because he was laughing so hard he could barely see. Getting Jensen out of the car was easier than getting him in it. Jared simply promised to get naked once they got home.

Jensen managed to get out of his seat belt quite quickly and soon Jared was helping him up the walk. There was a brief scuffle at the apartment door, for some reason it was important to Jensen that he use his _own_ key to open the apartment door. The only problem was it took him quite a while to search all his pockets twice and find his key card and phone to punch in the code. Jared was quite relieved when they finally burst through the front door of their apartment. He made sure Jensen was stumbling in the general direction of the bedroom before he locked up.

"Jensen? Don't go far," he called out. "I'll help you."

“ _Jared_ ," Jensen called out in return, sing-songing his Possessor's name, shoulder sliding against the wall as he moved down the hall. He only made it a few steps before deciding his shoes were no longer needed. Dropping down onto his ass he tugged at them, tossing them in the general direction of his bedroom before tugging his socks off to join them.

"Hey! You know what?" Jensen vaguely called over his shoulder before flopping onto his back along the floor, hand pressing the pleasant heat down his body, palm rolling over the front of jeans as he hummed softly.

Slipping his own shoes off at the door and padding down to Jensen, Jared stood over him, smiling. "Yes?" Jared couldn't help being amused by his normally anal-retentively tidy Companion throwing socks and shoes down the hall. He folded his arms and held his fist in front of his mouth to stifle his laughter.

Jensen gazed up at Jared, eyes growing wide. "I think you're pretty fuckin' amazing," Jensen nodded wisely and rolled over, clambering onto his hands and knees, fumbling forward for Jared's waist line. "I can suck your cock now?" He looked up at Jared with glassy eyes, leaning his forehead into Jared's crotch as the room spun.

"You know what I'd like?" Jared reached down and curled his arms under Jensen's shoulders to drag him up his body. " _I_ would like it if you'd come to bed with me and hold me while we fall asleep." Smiling, he dipped his head down and pressed his lips to _his_ spot.

"No cock?" Jensen murmured, leaning heavily into Jared. It was very nice to feel his warmth all along his body and the idea of holding him sounded more than appealing.

Jared started to pull Jensen down the hall with him. "Plenty of time for that when you can see properly." Jared's voice softened, he doubted that Jensen would remember any of this in the morning. "I love falling asleep with you. Makes me feel safe," he murmured as they veered to the side and almost bumped into the wall. He got them going in the right direction again and turned them into the bedroom walking Jensen backwards until he bumped into the bed and sat down. Picking up the hem of Jensen's t-shirt, Jared tugged it up Jensen's body, "Arms up."

"I love you," Jensen mumbled, eyes closed as he sleepily lifted his arms. It was easy to lose himself in the warmth, sinking down into it, humming softly.

Jared tugged the shirt off over Jensen's head and leaned down to kiss each of his cheeks. "You're amazing, you know that?" He heart clenched in his chest, thudding dully under the weight of Jensen's declaration. Trailing his fingers down Jensen's chest he tugged the button on his jeans loose. "Stand up for me, Jen." He held out his hands for Jensen.

Laying his hands over Jared's, Jensen allowed himself to be pulled up, leaning into Jared's chest and pressing a sloppy kiss into his neck. "Mm'sleepy now. Too much drinky," he chuckled and tugged at the hem of Jared's shirt.

"Yeah," Jared laughed softly against Jensen's hair. "Way too much drinky." He managed to wrestle Jensen's jeans down, losing his boxers as well in the process. Not that Jared _minded_ having Jensen naked in his bed. Smirking he helped Jensen to step out of his jeans and let him fall back down onto the bed. "'Kay, get in bed you." Jared turned and tugged his shirt off and shed his jeans, boxers and socks only to turn around and find Jensen still trying to fight his way under the covers.

Laughing, Jared rolled Jensen over and pulled the covers back. After he'd slid between the sheets he reached out and guided Jensen into bed. "You're really a harmless little kitten when you're drunk aren't ya?" Grinning he pressed gentle kisses across Jensen's forehead as the man settled in against him.

Jensen's eyes were already closed but he managed a slight smile and stroked his hand along Jared's chest. "Meow," he whispered, grin tugging at his lips as his legs shifted forward to wrap around Jared's.

Closing his eyes, Jared took a deep breath and hoped that Jensen was going to just fall asleep quickly. The heat of his body was remarkably distracting and he was all, soft and pliant and sweet. Jared cleared his throat. "Night, Jensen."

"Night, Jared," Jensen whispered and press into him, letting himself fall into the mostly drunk alcohol heat.


	6. Chapter 6

Jensen could tell before he even opened his eyes that this wasn't going to be an enjoyable morning. His head was pulsing, brain pressing against his skull, and it tasted like he'd swallowed a handful of cotton followed by motor oil. Groaning, he rolled slightly, hand flopping across his body. Jensen's eyes shot open as he realized he wasn't wearing a thing but they immediately snapped back closed as the morning light burned his retinas. "Jesus Christ," he groaned and lifted his hand to his forehead, pressing against his skull in attempts to alleviate the pressure.

Chuckling softly Jared let his book fall to his chest and leaned down to kiss Jensen's temple. "Hey sleepyhead, need me to get you some water and pain pills?"

"And kill Chad," Jensen mumbled, flopping over to bury his head in his pillow. "Very painfully," he grumbled into the cotton, vaguely wondering how long he'd been passed out. He needed to pee, and possibly throw up, and definitely make sure that he didn't do anything the night before that affected his standing with Jared.

Jared was prepared. He'd woken a couple of hours earlier and had brought in some water and a bottle of medication. "Here," he held the glass out to Jensen, "have a sip while I get you some pills out." Waiting until Jensen rolled enough to grasp blindly for the glass, Jared opened the bottle and shook a couple of pills into his hand. "Here, take these." He held his hand out.

Jensen did as instructed, swallowing down the pills before draining most of the water. He offered the glass back to Jared before dropping back on his pillow, blowing out a long breath. "Was I a complete idiot?" He asked softly, finally peeling his eyes open to risk a glance at Jared.

"You did mention my cock rather a lot." Jared turned back to his book trying to fake disinterest. He'd been really curious if Jensen would remember anything.

"In front of Chad and Stephanie?" Jensen groaned and rubbed the heel of his hand into his eye. "For the record, I'm only ever drinking again if it's here and you're drinking with me. And we're preferably alone." He rolled slightly to press against Jared. "So I, uh, am naked. Did I throw myself at you?"

"Yes, in front of Chad and Stephanie. And, I'm not telling you." Jared pressed his lips together to try and hide his smile then tossed his book onto the floor and slid down to snuggle against Jensen's naked form. "You were terrible; I had to fight you off. I kept telling you over and over how important the rules were to me. You threatened to leave, said you'd go and live with Chad." Jared's nose wrinkled under the strain of trying not to laugh.

"Now see," Jensen huffed and shook his head, "I might have believe that but I would _never_ willingly leave you - especially not to live with _Chad_ of all people." He smiled softly and sleepily reached out to caress Jared's hair. "I don't think you would have let us break the rules. Not while I was so very drunk." Jensen didn't really _feel_ like he'd done anything but then again, his body wasn't exactly making him aware of any pleasure related feelings.

"You're right, I wouldn't have and you didn't even kiss me when you were drunk." Jared let his bottom lip pout a little. "Even after all that bourbon I was still resistible." Fingers dancing down Jensen's side, Jared shifted closer. "Guess you don't remember anything you said huh?"

"Hm? No, maybe it'll come back to me?" Jensen had no experience with being drunk, side effects and if you ever remembered all the details. "It wasn't too bad right? It's not like I have any secrets from you, no big dark secret past," he snorted slightly and reached out to lay his hand on Jared's thigh.

Jared's brow furrowed briefly. "No secrets? None at all?" He looked down at Jensen's face, watching for any sign that he remembered his words from the previous night. _I love you_.

Glancing up at his Possessor Jensen frowned slightly. There was something in his tone Jensen couldn't place right away which was unsettling because he thought he was getting really good at reading his Possessor. That was his duty after all. He thought over things he could have said, something that might be considered a secret. "I... don't think I have secrets but there are things I have not told you. I mean, it's impossible to say absolutely every little thing about yourself right? Some things you just find out with time right?"

"Right. Yeah." Jared was surprised to feel the little pinch of hurt that bit into his chest. After all, it wasn't like they'd even been together long enough for Jensen to know how he _really_ felt about their relationship. Jared wasn't sure himself that thirty days was enough time to understand, to know if you wanted to spend the rest of your life with someone. "I'm gonna get up and make some breakfast, are you hungry at all?" He ran a hand over Jensen's tousled hair and squeezed his neck before letting go.

"I think I might be sick if I tried to eat," Jensen whispered, watching Jared. "Are you okay? I didn't say anything too horrible or something did I?" Jensen flopped back on the bed, rubbing his palm into his temple and laying a hand across his stomach.

"M'fine, you were adorable last night." He smiled warmly at Jensen as he slid off the bed. "Even Stephanie said you were cute, and you know she only has eyes for Chad." Tugging his jeans on, Jared padded back to the edge of the bed and leaned down to kiss Jensen's forehead. "Sleep it off, I'm gonna eat and paint for a while. Bring you some soup or something later?" He smiled as his fingers trailed down Jensen's bare chest.

"Mmkay," Jensen rolled over to Jared's side of the bed and buried himself into a Jared smelling pillow and blanket. Sleep wasn't too far from his mind anyway and he could easily let himself slip into the gentle haze, pulling in deep lungfuls of Jared's scent.

-=-=-=-

Jared moved around as quietly as he could. He'd had bad hangovers, ironically, they _also_ involved Chad. Jensen was going to need a lot of rest and Jared would probably have most of the day to himself. After making himself a light breakfast and drinking a steaming cup of tea out on the balcony Jared headed back inside to check on Jensen.

The gentle snoring that came from the bedroom made Jared laugh softly as he pushed the bedroom door open quietly. Padding in to the room quietly, Jared tilted his head and stared at his Companion. Jensen was sprawled on his back, spread across Jared's side of the bed, arms flung out to the sides. The sheets had slid down and were pooled low across his hips. Sleep tousled hair sprouted out in every direction from Jensen's head, some of the dark wisps clinging to his rosy cheeks. Jared raised his hand to his bare chest, almost as though he could feel the swell of feeling from the outside of his body.

Slipping back out of the room quietly Jared moved quickly. Gathering his easel, some charcoal and a blank canvas, he tossed a cloth over his shoulder and headed back to the bedroom. Jensen only stirred slightly as Jared set up beside the bed and soon the only sounds in the room were Jensen's gentle breaths and the low scratch of charcoal moving over canvas.

It was easy for Jared to capture some of Jensen's features. There were so many times he found himself staring at his Companion, mapping out the lines and curves of his face. As he sketched, his fingers smudged through the charcoal as though he was caressing Jensen's body. Head tilted to the side, Jared's lips quirked into a bemused smile.

Jensen was gorgeous. It wasn't just the physical characteristics; there was an innocence, a relaxed trust about his features that made Jared's heart beat a little slower, stronger. He lost track of the time, glancing occasionally at his sleeping Companion as his hands moved over the canvas.

Jensen was aware of Jared watching him almost the moment he woke but he didn't move, didn't open his eyes, and just enjoyed the comfortable silence settling between them. Eventually his eyes slowly fluttered open and he let his head fall to the side, watching Jared. His Possessor was hunched over, focusing in on particular spot on his drawing, and Jensen smiled softly. "You drawin' me?" He murmured sleepily, slowly rolling his hips under the sheets.

Jared started, blinking a few times and pushing his hair back off his forehead with the back of his hand. "I am," He dropped the charcoal on the front of the easel and pulled the rag off his shoulder, wiping his hands. "You're,” his eyes moved over to the bed, finally meeting Jensen's. "Perfect." Looking back at the drawing he took a step back from it and returned his gaze to Jensen. His eyes lingered over Jensen's body, the teasing glimpse of hip above the edge of the sheet.

Chuckling softly, Jensen shook his head. "Not perfect. Just... perfect for you?" Jensen curved his body up as he stretched on the bed, letting out a soft moan. "I feel much better now but I think next time I'll take it slower," he smiled, watching Jared with half opened eyes, fingers coming to rest low on his hips. "Can I see it?" Jensen gestured toward the canvas.

Tongue darting out over his bottom lip, Jared dragged his gaze away from Jensen's fingers. "Uh, yeah." Taking a step back Jared tossed the cloth on the floor and grabbed the top and bottom of the easel so he could turn it around to face the bed. Stepping to the side, Jared scratched at the side of his nose, leaving a smudge of black there. Normally, he was comfortable showing people his work - interested to hear what they thought. This was different, Jensen mattered so much to Jared - everything he thought, everything he felt. Moving over Jared sat down on the edge of the bed, looking down at his hands.

"Wow," Jensen shifted forward until he could lean against Jared, staring at the drawing. "That, that looks just like-" he swallowed thickly and pushed up, leaning off the bed slightly to peer at the drawing then look back at Jared. ”You're really talented Jared. Really talented. But, you're not gonna sell that one are you? I mean, I don't really want anyone to have it," he laughed softly, draping across Jared's lap.

Jared's hand smoothed over the skin on Jensen's back, still warm from sleep. "I'm keeping it," his voice was soft, "it belongs with me." Pressing his lips together he ran his hands over Jensen's body, his sides, fingers bumping over ribs, the gentle swell of his ass at the bottom of his back. His hands left black smudges along Jensen's skin like, somehow, he was changing Jensen just by touching him. Brow furrowing, Jared leaned back on his hands. "You want some food now? You,” he cleared his throat, “you must be hungry."

"I guess," Jensen mumbled and turned into Jared's body, nuzzling the smooth pane of his stomach. "What time is it?" He pressed a soft kiss to Jared's skin, trailing along the flesh, enjoying the warmth of his Possessor's body.

"I dunno, late afternoon? You slept most of the day," Jared laughed softly. "Not much of a drinker are ya?" His hand settled on the mess of Jensen's hair and tried to smooth it down. "Your hair." Jared chuckled for a few moments then gathered Jensen into his arms, pulling him up against his chest. "I," sometimes, it just swept over him, the way he felt about this man he hardly knew in so many ways. Sighing, Jared brought a hand down so he could brush the pads of his fingers across Jensen's lips.

Jensen smiled and pressed a soft kiss to Jared's fingers, extending a hand to curl into Jared's hair. "I'll make us some dinner yeah? Then I'm voting for some serious cuddling time on the couch watching movies," Jensen's face split into a wide grin and he dipped forward to rest his forehead against Jared's. "I'm very happy here with you, Jared," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the corner of Jared's lips.

Jared turned into the kiss just as Jensen pulled back. The slightest touch against Jensen's lips sent heat scorching across Jared's face. Lips parting in a small gasp he blinked, fingers digging into Jensen's back. Jared closed his eyes for a few moments, "I'm happy with you here, I've never been this happy."

Jensen hadn't had a lifetime full of relationships to compare this too and Jared couldn't help wondering how different things might be if Jensen truly believed he was free to make his own choices. Pulling Jensen closer, he buried his nose in his Companion's neck and clung to him tightly.

"Me either," Jensen murmured and wrapped his arms tight around Jared's body, shifting forward, pushing him along the mattress until he could straddle his lap and hold him close. "How many days until I'm yours?" He whispered into Jared's ear, legs curling around his body to hold him as close as possible.

"Eleven," Jared murmured, " _not_ that I'm counting.” Hands splayed wide Jared dragged his palms over Jensen's back, clutching him as close as he could against his chest. " _God_ ," the oh-so-familiar ache began in Jared's belly, scratching and clawing its way up his spine. "Sometimes," Jared murmured, "I..." He could feel himself shaking slightly, tears prickling at the edges of his eyes. "Feels like I'll die if you if you leave me." Sucking in a quick breath he moaned softly and kissed his way from the shell of Jensen's ear down over his shoulder, arms cinching tight.

"I will never leave you," Jensen insisted quietly, head tilting back to grant Jared more access to his skin. He was still naked and his body was responding to being across Jared's lap, to his lips burning into his skin. "I will always be with you," he murmured, voice deepening, hips moving forward slowly.

Their bodies were locked together, arms and legs cinched tight, so tight Jared couldn’t even take in a full breath - but he didn’t care. His teeth, lips, tongue, dragged across Jensen's shoulder as Jared moaned and whimpered. _Can never get close enough_. He rolled them to the side settling between Jensen's legs, knowing it was a line he was crossing. Pressing Jensen down into the mattress he felt the heat of his Companion’s arousal, hard and urgent between them. "Jensen," Jared murmured the name like it explained everything that was swirling in him; the crazy feelings, the need.

Rocking up, Jensen bit down on his lip, blowing a breath out through his nose. "Jared we-" his hands fell onto Jared's back, pushing down the smooth skin. “The rules," he looked down at Jared, eyes fluttering. "They-they say you can't _touch_ ," Jensen whispered, fingers dipping below Jared's waistline. "But, but our bodies - they can touch." Jensen wasn't completely sure that was right but he couldn't think of anything specific in the rules, as long as Jared's hands didn't touch him _there_.

Shuddering, Jared slid down off the edge of the bed, hands moving quickly to the button on his jeans. His breath came in gasps and hisses, frustration at himself as he wrestled his jeans off. Finally, he climbed back up on to the bed, crawling over Jensen's body. He stared down at Jensen's flushed cheeks, fighting the urge to claim his full lips before lowering himself down. The first touch, heat against heat, the way Jensen's cock twitched up off his body nearly broke Jared into pieces. His hips thrust forward - body craving the fist slide of smooth flesh and Jared cried out softly as his face fell to the curve of Jensen's shoulder.

"Oh," Jensen moaned loudly, body lifting up off the mattress, sliding against Jared's skin. "That... feels-" he panted softly and wrapped a hand around Jared's back, spreading his fingers over Jared's lower back, bringing his body closer, as close as possible.”God Jared." His head rolled back into the pillow to keep from lifting up to crush his lips against Jared's like he so badly wanted. Their skin burned as their cocks brushed together, sliding briefly, falling apart and sliding back.

It was too much to feel all at once and Jared just sank into the sensation of their bodies gliding together. His hips rocked forwards quickly, urgently as he held himself up on trembling arms. Feeling Jensen everywhere, flesh against his in so many places Jared couldn’t even think. Each time his cock moved against Jensen's it was like little explosions were going off in Jared's body. Spine arching, he thrust up against Jensen feeling his heart all but ready to burst out of his chest.

Rolling to the side Jared growled softly, "you," he murmured. He couldn't even put it all into words, just wanted Jensen's weight on him, pinning him down, wanted to feel the man fucking against him. "Please," he whispered as his hands curled over Jensen's ass, tugging and pulling him closer.

Completing their roll, Jensen pressed Jared hard down into the mattress, moaning once more as their hips slid together. Jensen's knees pulled up slightly over Jared's body as his hand dropped down in between them, fingers spreading wide to wrap around himself and Jared. He pressed heavily down into Jared's upper body, hips gently rocking forward into his hand and against Jared's flesh.

"You like me holding you down? Like this?" Jensen gasped into Jared's neck, fingers tightening around both cocks, bringing them together. He'd never felt anything like the burn of Jared's cock against his own and he wondered if it would always be like that, one thing burning so much brighter than the next.

"Yes." The word leaked out of Jared's lips. His hips rolled constantly sending his cock sliding past Jensen's, the grip of his Companion's hand just enough, perfect, the right amount of pressure to tease more of an ache. "I, you there, on top of me," Jared threw his head back, moaning as heat welled up in him. "Want more," he murmured then bit down on his bottom lip. Long fingers dug into Jensen's back, nails scraping up and down his flesh. His head snapped forward as his hips thrust up into Jensen's grip, "Want m..more." Twisting his hips he wrapped his legs over Jensen's, spine arching up off the bed.

"I know," Jensen buried his lips into the crook of Jared's neck, sucking hard on the flesh, pulling blood to the surface and marking him. "More," he murmured into Jared's flesh, quickening his strokes, twisting his wrist, and pulling them both closer to the edge.”I will - when you're mine, I will." He tilted his head up to suck Jared's earlobe between his lips, dragging his teeth along the flesh. "Fuck you. Hard. Like this, me on top of you." Jensen growled the words against Jared's ear, hips snapping forward at the thought of it, body eager for the tight heat, eager to be connected like that. "You want me to fuck you Jared? Hold you down into the bed and just take you?" Jensen wasn't sure were the words were coming from but they coursed through him, heated his pleasure and _want_.

Sucking in a shuddering breath, Jared nodded, "yes," he moaned, writhing under Jensen's body. His brain had short-circuited somewhere along the way. Jensen's words were like knives of pleasure, slicing through his control. Hips rocking up, hands sliding over Jensen's back restlessly he turned into Jensen's voice, lips sliding wet and clumsy over his cheek. "Jensen, please..." His orgasm sparked to life deep inside him, spurred on by the deep, gravely tone of Jensen's voice. Chasing Jensen's mouth with his, Jared growled softly. "J-Just one kiss," his hissed softly, clenching his teeth as pleasure rolled in wave after wave down his body.

"C-can't," Jensen gasped, heart clenching for a moment as he worked his fist over Jared and himself quicker, firmer. Every time Jared asked for a kiss, Jensen could feel his resolve weakening. But, truthfully, he had no idea what would happen if he broke the rules and the fear of them taking him from Jared seemed too real. Jensen's body rocked forward into Jared's as much as possible, eyes snapping shut as the beginning of his orgasm nudged forward. "Jared," he moaned, dipping down to suck kisses into Jared's neck once more, hips stuttering forward as his release tore through him with unexpected speed, slicking along his fingers and Jared's cock in his grip.

The heat of Jensen's come pulsing between them was the final straw. Jared's balls ached, painful and tight, his flesh pulsing and twitching out come as the breath flew out of his body. The sounds that left Jared's mouth were small, weak, and guttural. His nails scraped across the heat of Jensen's ass as his Companion's muscles clenched with each throb of his cock. Swallowing, Jared heaved oxygen into his lungs not wanting to release the hold he had on Jensen's body.

Shoulders shaking slightly Jensen pulled his hand free from between their body and collapsed down onto Jared, sighing heavily. "Always feels so amazing," he mumbled into Jared's neck, not caring that their come was mixing together between their bodies, smearing into their skin. Jensen could hear Jared's racing heart, could feel the steady rise and fall of his lungs as his breath struggled to return to normal. His heart swirled pleasantly in his chest, emotions twisting and turning through him. Jensen's fingers grazed along Jared's collarbone, mapping out the skin. "I love you, Jared," he whispered, lips pressing into Jared's neck.

The swell of emotion that built inside Jared's chest burst out of him. "I -" Jared nuzzled into Jensen's hair. He'd never forget that smell; if Jensen was torn from him that very moment he would spend his whole life remembering the scent of _him._ Lashes falling to his cheeks Jared smiled, heart nudging at him, wanting him to answer with what he already knew was true. There was just always that speck of doubt. That if Jensen had a way out things would be different.

Shifting his hips slowly Jared rolled them to their sides. "We should start dinner, all the sketching made me hungry." He pressed his lips to the corner of Jensen's mouth, lingering there with his fingers tangled in his Companion's hair. "I'm gonna have a quick shower." Sliding out of Jensen's arms he padded over to the bathroom door, hesitating briefly, then heading in and closing the door behind him.

Jensen stared at the door, heart sinking unpleasantly. Nicole's voice echoed in his mind, _you will fall in love with him, and he'll never love you the same_. Blinking away the sudden burn of tears Jensen dropped his gaze to his hands before sliding off the bed. He felt stupid for saying those words; stupid for thinking Jared would say them back. Sighing softly he headed to his room and dressed, schooling his emotions back into place before moving to the kitchen to start making dinner. It shouldn't have been so easy to pretend like his heart wasn't aching but if anything it made him understand Nicole's words from yesterday, though some part of him desperately wanted not to believe them. In the end, he knew his place.

By the time Jared returned Jensen was nearly done with the meal and he gave him a brief smile before sending him with a stack of items to set out on the dining room table. As he gathered up the food he once more needed to soothe the haywire emotions running through him, that feeling of hurt clenching at his heart. Jensen knew he was only a Companion, and _god_ sometimes Jared made him feel like more than that but the thought that it wasn't quite like that was burning in him.

They shared a quiet dinner, Jensen excusing his quietness with the lingering headache still pressing against his skull. He sent Jared out to enjoy some video game time while he did the dishes and joined him after just in time to get his ass thoroughly kicked. As he climbed into bed with Jared that night it was admittedly a little reluctant. If they continued down this path he'd only feel more for Jared, it could only grow, and if Jared wasn't feeling the same than Jensen was just likely to get hurt. But he knew _not_ sleeping with Jared would hurt his Possessor, and it wasn't like he was keen on the idea of sleeping without him. He'd take what he could get.

When Jensen woke in the morning it was one of the first times Jared was still asleep. For awhile he simply stared at him before rolling off the side of the bed and heading to shower. Jared was still asleep once he was dressed so he moved out to the kitchen and made up the coffee pot, stopping short of turning it on. Taking a piece of paper from the scrap drawer Jensen scribbled a quick note telling Jared he was going out to do some grocery shopping, that the coffee just needed to be turned on, and that he'd be back before lunch. The cool morning air felt good in his lungs, relaxing, and Jensen took his time strolling down to the market, browsing through things, clearing his head.

What mattered most was that he was a part of Jared's life. If his Possessor didn't love him the same way at this point in time, it didn't mean that maybe one day in the future he wouldn't. So Jensen resolved to continue trying to be the best Companion he could be and whether Jared was his just for now or for the rest of his life, he'd make the best of it. Jensen supposed that was the basis of love, though it seemed safer to pull back slightly, enough to keep hold on himself and not slip up again. After all, saying _I love you_ yet again to Jared without a reaction would hurt twice as badly. As he finished up his shopping and headed home, Jensen came to the conclusion that the real world, occasionally, sucked.

-=-=-=-

If Jared had ever thought he didn't know Jensen well, he was proven wrong as soon as things shifted. It was probably completely un-noticeable to anyone who didn't care as much for Jensen as Jared did. For Jared, it was tangible. He could taste Jensen's disappointment in the air between them. For the first time since they'd started sharing a bed Jensen was gone before Jared woke. It was horrible. Normally, whoever woke first would pick up a book, read or simply lie there... maybe watching the other one. Jensen had even, on occasion, resorted to _accidentally_ waking Jared up. Finding himself alone in bed when he woke up felt foreign and proved that Jared's instinct to keep his feelings secret had been wrong. He should have answered with the words that were on the tip of his tongue.

Maybe it was foolish to doubt Jensen simply because he didn't have the same choices as everyone else. It certainly felt foolish when he rolled over to slide his palm forward and was met with only cold sheets.

Jensen's note did little to ease Jared's sense of loss. He padded around the apartment holding it for a while, feeling suddenly displaced in his own home. Sinking down on the couch he pulled the laptop toward him and clicked on Purity's website. He had wondered before if there were a way to buy Jensen's freedom, clear him from his commitment and ownership. Jared had money, that wasn't a problem - he could purchase Jensen's freedom and hand it over to him. Then Jensen would be able to make his own choices about things. Home, _their_ home, would always be there if Jensen wanted it.

Sadly, there was nothing. No loopholes, no reasons, no amount of money could change the way Purity fit into the Social order. The only thing that sparked the slightest hope in Jared was that Jensen would be freed if there was a serious breach of rules during the trial period and then Jared refused to keep him. He poured over the pages, trying to glean enough detail to see if they could make it work. The problem was, Jensen would be involved and Jensen had shown time and time again that he wasn't willing to risk breaking the rules.

If a Life Companion conspired with his Possessor to secure his freedom, he would face years of incarceration. They left no escape. It was what the Purity system relied upon. Their guarantee of safety and transparency of process was crucial. Sighing, Jared slammed the lap top closed. It seemed so unfair that in a world with so much there was no way to do something as simple as let someone make their own choices. He wanted Jensen to come home, because home was where he wanted to be and not because he had nowhere else to go.

-=-=-=-

When Jensen arrived home Jared was nowhere to be seen and he wondered briefly if everything was going to change between them. It wasn't something he wanted so he told himself it wasn't going to happen. Once he'd put everything away in the kitchen he prepared Jared his favourite chicken sandwich and brought it to his art room, offering it with a smile and an apology for going out without waking Jared first and seeing if he wanted to come along.

Jensen didn't have to force the smile on his face though he thought he was going to need to, smiling came naturally when Jared was around, and if his eyes reflected any of his sadness he did his best to hide it.

They passed the day uneventfully, Jared returning to his painting once he'd finished eating and Jensen curling up in his usual chair with his book. It occurred to Jensen that he shouldn't feel bad about his situation, there were so many worse ways it could be for him, and he knew that Jared made him happy regardless.

By the time night once more rolled around Jensen found he wasn't quite as hesitant to slide onto the bed beside Jared and tuck up against him. He could feel that things still weren't the same as before he said the words but he'd figure out a way to get them there.

They fell into a strange pattern for a few days. Jared watched as Jensen became quieter, a little more independent and Jared felt like he was pushed to the edges of Jensen's world again. Each night he would pull Jensen close to him, hoping somehow that by the gentle press of his body against his Companion's he could communicate all the things he was afraid to say.

Jensen settled into a routine of getting up early and Jared slept in, they ate their meals together and Jared spent most of the afternoons painting. When Jensen was out on errands or walking, Jared worked on his painting of the man; he used the charcoal drawing as his template and watercolour to create the new version. It was different, there was something missing in it, things had just changed. There was nothing that Jared could put his finger on; Jensen seemed always just out of reach. Jared would wait until Jensen slipped into bed with him at night, wait for his breathing to deepen then run his fingers lightly over Jensen's face. Maybe he could find a way back to him.

It wasn't until the day before Jensen's doctor visit that he realized how completely terrified he was. Things were stuck in place, an almost tension filled type of silence settling over them no matter what they did. More than a week it had been like this and Jensen couldn't figure out what to do, didn't know what to say to make it _better_. They had, for the most part, gone about like usual, went to visit Chad and Stephanie, met up with some of Jared's other friends at a juice bar, attended a dinner wherein they met Jeff and his new girlfriend, but Jensen felt like everything was unravelling at the seams.

The night before his appointment, Jensen was more of a wreck than he'd ever been and he struggled to keep his nerves in control. He knew he was being a bad Companion and why would Jared want to keep him? There was so much _more_ he could have done but it was too late. So he made a fleeting last attempt by cooking Jared's favourite lasagne. His Possessor had gone out for the afternoon and by the time he arrived home later in the evening Jensen had the table set and the food warming in the oven, trying not to overreact about the situation as a whole. It didn't stop him from stepping into the hall to greet Jared as he arrived though, smiling tentatively and twisting a dish rag in his hands. "Hey. How was your afternoon?"

Shrugging off his jacket, Jared dropped his backpack on the floor. "Was okay," he smiled, eyes darting down to Jensen's hands. "You okay?" Dragging his eyes off Jensen's face he bent down the pull off his boots.

"I'm... no. I'm not," Jensen shook his head and managed a brief smile before stepping back slightly. "I've made dinner, um, that is unless you've already eaten. Have you already eaten?" Jensen gestured over his shoulder to the kitchen, rubbing his palm across the back of his neck. "It's your favourite. Lasagne." Jensen wished he could shake the horrible feeling in his gut and he just wanted to fling himself into Jared's arms and ask his Possessor to make it all better.

Straightening up Jared rubbed his hands together. "I love your lasagne. What's the occasion? That always seems to take you so much time to make." He reached out and squeezed Jensen's shoulder, "you trying to butter me up?"

Jensen blinked at Jared in surprise. "You... you don't know what tomorrow is?" He frowned slightly, thinking at least that explained why Jared chose not to spend the afternoon with him. "I enjoy cooking and I had nothing else to do," Jensen said with a shrug and turned, heading back into the kitchen to retrieve the lasagne and garlic bread, carrying it past Jared and heading for the dining room.

"Sorry, it's probably not going to be the absolute best I um, expected you home earlier so it's been just sitting in there for awhile," Jensen slid the two items onto the table before walking past Jared once more to retrieve the salad from the fridge. "What would you like to drink?" He called over his shoulder.

"Hey," Jared said. He waited till Jensen turned to look at him. "I know what tomorrow is." There was no sound for a few moments until the fridge door closed quietly. "I've been counting down, just thought maybe you weren't. You didn't say anything about it." Jared looked down at the counter between them.

"I was counting down, or I do... I just... you didn't say anything either," Jensen pointed out, grabbing the pitcher of filter water. "Soda? Juice?" Jensen moved over to the cabinet to get himself a cup, filling it with water, wondering what was going on in him that was making him sound so cold. And to Jared. His frown deepened as he stood across the counter from his Possessor.

"Doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about it." Turning Jared caught Jensen by the wrist. "Are you mad at me for something?" He loosened his grip a little and stepped closer, thumb moving over Jensen's arm. "'Cause, that's not really how I want to spend tonight." Smiling he dipped his head down to catch Jensen's eye.

"No, I'm not mad at you," Jensen said softly, wetting his lips slowly before stepping back. "It's getting cold. I know you're weird and like cold lasagne sometimes but I don't. So," he shrugged and gave up on the idea of getting Jared a drink, walking past him with his water and heading for the dining room. Jensen instantly busied himself with dishing up food for the both of them, giving himself a good mental kick in the head.

Jared leaned back against the counter for a few moments, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. He never knew where he stood with Jensen anymore. It had all started so well, and then just continued to sort of slip away from him over the past week. Running both hands through his hair he wandered over to the table and sat down. "Thanks for cooking," he muttered.

"You're welcome," Jensen said softly, settling into his chair and curling his fingers around his fork. That same, sad tension that had tarnished their last ten days once more blanketed the room and Jensen sighed quietly, poking at his food, not in the least bit hungry now. "So, what... did um, did you have fun today?" Jensen stuffed a couple pieces of lettuce into his mouth and forced himself to chew.

"Fun?" Jared poked some designs into the cheese on his lasagne with the tines on his fork. "Fun," he let out a hollow laugh. "Not really, I was worried, nervous, and I didn't think that you wanted me around. I just walked a lot, had a few things to pick up. Nothing too exciting." Realizing that he hadn't eaten even a mouthful of food he cut off a bit of lasagne and shoved it in his mouth. "S'good," he mumbled.

"I always want you around," Jensen said quietly, following Jared's actions and shoving a bite of lasagne into his own mouth. The air once more thickened around them, changed, and Jensen could feel the weight of the past week and a half pressing down on his shoulders. He wanted to ask Jared about tomorrow, about whether he was going to keep him, but to do that would be nearly as bad as breaking the rules. A sign of disrespect Jensen couldn’t ignore. Tears pricked along the rims of Jensen's eyes and he hunched over his plate, forcing a few more forkfuls of food between his lips.

Placing his fork on the table carefully, Jared pressed his hands down on the table. "What?" He swallowed, "what did I do wrong? I feel like I was on the right track and then - somewhere things changed." There was a cold tension building throughout Jared's body. "It's because of me right? You didn't change did you?"

"It's not you, it's my fault," Jensen frowned and set his own fork down, pushing his plate of food away from his body. "She said... and then when I said... and you didn't I just..." Jensen huffed out a discouraged puff of air and wiped at his eyes. "I'm sorry Jared, I've been trying so hard to make it better but I keep - I keep failing." Jensen sighed softly, shoulders hunching further in on themselves as he stared down at the table top.

"You're not failing," Jared's voice was barely above a whisper. "Wait, because she who? What did _she_ say?" Sometimes Jared felt like everyone else had a manual for what was going on and he was the only one without a clue.

Jensen sighed and shook his head. "Nicole. That day I talked to her... she said, that I would love you and that you would never love me," he shrugged and ran his finger through the ring of condensation from his glass. "So, when I said that I-" Jensen looked up at Jared, eyes darting to the side a moment later, "my mind just went to a bad place. And I've been trying not to think along those lines."

"So you just stopped talking to me? I feel like-" shoving his plate away Jared stood up and walked around the table sinking to his knees beside Jensen. "I feel," he looked up, eyes wide, "like you took yourself away from me and I didn't know what to do." Curling his fingers over Jensen's thigh he dropped his eyes. "I can do whatever you want me to, I can be different." Looking up he blinked a few times, locking his eyes with Jensen's. "I love you; I know you probably won't believe me..."

Turning toward Jared in his chair Jensen's heart did a strange, tightening flip. "You, you love me?" He asked in a whisper, staring at Jared with wide eyes. "But you didn't say... I thought maybe it was too soon or too much or that maybe I was silly for feeling that way," Jensen shook his head, reaching out to gently touch Jared's hair.

"I think about you all the time, when you started getting up in the morning before me I hated it. And, I was... I should have said it but I was scared, I _am_ scared. It's been so little time since we met and then you were pulling away and I don't know how to get you back. I love you, and I need you back." Tears were welling up in Jared's eyes and he looked away, embarrassed.

The swell of emotions in Jensen was almost too much to handle, added with the mixture of Jared's tears, the words, and everything Jensen had been clinging too for the past thirty days suddenly seemed to fly out the window. Jensen slid out of his chair, kicking it back away from him, hands reaching out to cup either side of Jared's jaw. "I love you," he whispered, forcing Jared to lock eyes with him. For a moment they simply stared at each other before Jensen brought him forward with a gentle tug, leaning in to close the distance between them. Jensen's heart stuttered a beat as their lips brushed together, just a barely there touch before he leaned back, looking at Jared for a beat then tugging him in once more, slanting his lips full over Jared's and kissing him hard.

It was like a shock that jolted through Jared's body and melted his heart. His spine curved forward, neck arching up to open his lips under Jensen's mouth. It was so much more than anything he'd ever allowed himself to imagine. For a few moments, the heat of Jensen's mouth actually made Jared's head spin. Falling heavily against Jensen's body Jared moaned, tongue sliding forward to brush ever-so-slightly along Jensen's bottom lip. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew they were breaking a rule, _Jensen_ had crossed the line - he just couldn't bring himself to pull away from something that sent his heart ricocheting about in his chest like this. His hands slid low along Jensen's hips, holding him there.

Pushing up from the ground Jensen tugged Jared by his collar, heaving him up to his feet, kiss only breaking long enough to get them both standing. Then Jensen was crushing up against Jared's body, tugging him forward, sealing their lips together once more. Jensen _knew_ he was breaking the rules but it was the night before and Jensen would figure out some way to successfully lie tomorrow. Or something. Truthfully he just couldn't take not feeling this any longer. Jared's lips against his burned and tingled and the feeling shot straight down his spine. Jensen moaned as he leaned into Jared's body, backing them up out of the dining room, fingers tangling up into Jared's hair.

Jared stumbled and caught himself by gripping Jensen's shirt. He heard it rip slightly and groaned, sliding a hand between them to fumble with the buttons clumsily. The waiting, all the nights of trying to stop himself was igniting something in Jared that he was losing control over. He murmured Jensen's name when they separated long enough to gasp in some air, then cupped the back of the man's head so he could crush their lips back together again. When he finally managed to get the buttons undone he shoved roughly at the material pushing it down over Jensen's arms as his hips rolled forward of their own accord.

The material slid easily from Jensen's shoulders and he shook it off his arms before wrapping them around Jared once more. The flash of Jared's tongue touched his lips and Jensen moaned, having forgotten all about the _more_ that kissing could be. His tongue slipped forward, brushing against his Possessor's and Jensen's body shook.

It was _so_ much better than Jensen anticipated and he eagerly slid it forward the rest of the way to sweep along the inside of Jared's mouth. Jensen's arms tightened their hold around Jared before dropping low and heaving the man up, using all the strength he'd been building during work outs to pull Jared from the ground, fingers digging hard into Jared's ass until legs wrapped around him and he stumbled down the hall to their bedroom.

Jared sucked hard on Jensen's tongue, drawing the flavour of the man into his mouth. Arms and legs wrapped tight around Jensen's body he slammed his hand into the wall as Jensen almost fell into the bedroom, sucking and licking at Jensen's mouth.

They tumbled backwards onto the bed in a tangle of arms and legs, Jared's mouth collided hard with Jensen's shoulder and he tasted blood an instant before twisting to the side to recapture his _lover's_ mouth. Finally pulling his arms away from Jensen's neck Jared curled his fingers under the hem of his t-shirt so he could tug it up and off over his head. He was so driven, wanting as much of his body; his flesh against Jensen's that he couldn't even see.

They momentarily broke the kiss to fumble with remaining clothing, shoes and socks falling off and joined swiftly by jeans and boxers. Then Jensen was pushing Jared back down into the mattress, reclaiming his lips, kissing him so hard it almost hurt but was so _good_.

Jensen moaned loudly into the kiss, noise muffled by Jared's tongue sliding into his mouth. A nagging part of his brain was chastising him for breaking the rules but Jensen shoved it away in favour of rocking his body into Jared's, enjoying the dizzying slide of flesh together. "Jared," he mumbled into the kiss, hands moving along every inch of his Possessor that he could reach.

It was frantic and hot and Jensen seemed to be everywhere all at once. Jared was making soft keening sounds into the kiss, tongue circling around his Companion's as heat flushed every surface of his body. Pushing at Jensen's shoulder's Jared rolled them, lips finally sliding away from Jensen's so he could suck in a shuddering breath. "I want, please let me," he panted, eyes glassy and wild, locked on Jensen's face as he wriggled back slightly and began a journey of kisses and bites down Jensen's body. Fingers spread wide he ran them down Jensen's sides, loving the way his lover moved under him, constant, graceful and fluid.

" _God_ ," Jensen moaned and tilted his head back into the pillow, enjoying the way Jared's lips felt along his skin. His hands came out to graze along Jared's back, sliding up into his hair, twining into the silky strands. His attitude was shifting more towards the _forget about all the rules_ side and his body curved up into Jared's, heels digging down into the blankets. "Touch," he whispered, forcing his head up to stare down at Jared with glassy, lust filled eyes.

Glancing up, Jared shifted slightly and stared up at Jensen. His mouth fell open, hands dragging down Jensen's body to his hips then Jared pushed himself down slightly settle between his Companion's legs. Drawing his hands closer together, he slid his palms over the gentle curve of his Companion's hip bones, fingers splitting apart to run along either side. His tongue slowly ran along his bottom lip as he stared up the line of flushed and swollen flesh bobbing in front of his mouth. Bringing his hands together at the base of Jensen's shaft he dipped his head and dragged his tongue up the length of the man's cock.

Jensen nearly shot up off the mattress, body completely unprepared for the intensity of Jared's tongue, hot and wet against his skin. "J-jared," he stuttered out, sucking in a sharp breath, hands slapping down into the mattress on either side of his body. "Oh god," he moaned, lifting his head to stare down at Jared between his legs. Jensen could feel his heart racing hard against his chest and his fingers curled into the blanket, throat contracting with a thick swallow. "Do it, do it Jared. Please, your mouth." Jensen murmured the words, hardly registering that he was even speaking, hips writhing against Jared's hold on him.

Heat sparked even hotter in Jared's cock, those words, finally _Jensen_ asking him, wanting him. He pushed himself up on shaking arms, straddling Jensen's thigh and kissing his way up the valley at the top of his leg. Latching on hard, Jared sucked up the sensitive skin into his mouth, licking, rolling the flesh between his teeth as he drew the blood up hot and burning against his tongue.

The moan that fell from Jensen's lips as Jared sucked his flesh was hardly recognizable and his hips once more jerked forward, leg sliding up to try and slide along Jared's hard flesh. The entire situation seemed so surreal, only moments before they had been in the middle of an awkward dinner and now Jensen was finding himself here, a place he likely shouldn't be but could hardly be bothered to care. _For the moment_. "Jared," he whimpered, pleading for Jared to _touch_ more.

Dropping to the bed at Jensen's side, Jared threw his leg over his Companion's thighs and nestled closer. Arching his neck back he gazed up at Jensen, heart-clenching tight with each beat. "I love you," he whispered.

A small smile tugged at Jensen's lips and he reached out to caress Jared's hair, "I love you too." It warmed his heart to hear his Possessor say those words once more and Jensen was okay with temporarily ignoring the pulsing need through him. "Jared," he whispered, biting down on his lip as his hips moved against the mattress impatiently.

Jared licked his lips once and darted forward, sinking his mouth down over the head of Jensen's cock. It was fiery hot and he could instantly taste the bead of come that his tongue darted across. Moaning as his hips rutted against Jensen's leg, Jared sucked hard, sinking himself down onto his lover's cock. The only experience he had was what Jensen's had given him and his mind was whirling with the images and sensations of Jensen's mouth on him. Fingers curling under Jensen's balls, Jared growled, feeling the vibration against his tongue. Working his mouth lower, Jared swirled his tongue slowly along Jensen's hard flesh.

A sharp gasp fell from Jensen's lips as Jared's mouth overheated his skin, pulsing through his veins, shoving him roughly toward his orgasm. There was no way he was going to last through this, Jared was amazing even with his inexperience, not that Jensen had anything to compare it to. His hands sought out Jared's hair, sliding through the long locks. "God," he panted, hips trying to thrust up into Jared's mouth. Jared's tongue, lips, hands, were _everywhere_ and Jensen was starting to worry he might literally explode, his heart was racing so hard it almost hurt.

Jense's hips almost threw Jared off before he reached out and gripped his fingers tightly over his lover's hip. Hollowing his cheeks, he sucked hard and moaned when another burst of pre-come slid into his mouth. Jensen's body writhed beneath him in a constant wave, hips bucking up, and spine arching off the bed. Breathing hard through his nose Jared relaxed his throat and slid his mouth further down, taking all of Jensen deep into him and feeling the tip of his cock at the back of his throat. Pulsing his tongue against the vein that throbbed in Jensen's cock Jared could feel his eyes watering. He walked his fingers back toward Jensen's cock, squeezing _hard_ at the base for a moment before ghosting his fingers back down over Jensen's tight balls.

Moaning loudly, Jensen's head pressed hard back into the pillow, muscles along his system tightening. He didn't even have time to gasp out a warning to Jared before his orgasm was shooting through him, curling along his system and pulling Jared's name from his mouth in a loud moan. Jared's fingers on his hips kept them from snapping up into his Possessor's mouth. Jensen road out the pleasure, fingers tightening hard in Jared's hair, breath catching in his throat and holding there. Jensen's shoulders shook, finally sucking in a deep breath as the last of his release twitched through him.

Startled at first, Jared had almost pulled back but then he had settled back to swallow each spurt of hot, slick release. Lapping at Jensen's cock, he finally pulled off, gasping for air and let his head fall to Jensen's hip. Panting softly he trailed, wet and clumsy kisses along Jensen's hip, nipping at the jut of bone the sliding up his lover's side. Gripping Jensen's hair he pulled the man's head down to press a slow, wet kiss against his lips.

Jensen moaned softly as his tongue slid out and tasted himself in Jared's mouth. His hand slid down, seeking out Jared's hard flesh, curling around the base of his cock and stroking quickly. "God Jared," he gasped into the kiss, free hand shifting up to stroke Jared's hair.”You - you're so," Jensen fell back from the kiss, sucking in quick breaths. "I love you _so_ much," he murmured, sliding up once more to bring their lips together as his hand moved along Jared's flesh.

Moaning into the kiss Jared's hips snapped forward and slid his cock across Jensen's palm. His orgasm was already _there_ , the taste, sensation of Jensen coming in his mouth had sparked something so sweet inside him that he was just a touch away. Thrusting quickly against his lover, nuzzling into his ear, Jared moaned softly - gasped in a breath of air and came. His shoulders curled forward in jolts as his orgasm shot through him. Muscles tightened and his fingers dug into Jensen's flesh as his come shot thick and white across his hip and stomach. " _Fuck_ ," he hissed the word, desperately trying to suck air into his lungs.

Wrapping his arms around Jared's body, Jensen held him close as he pulled in shaky breaths. A small smile played across his lips and he rested his forehead against Jared's, sighing softly. As Jared's body gradually stopped shaking, Jensen's smile slipped away as reality seeped into his mind. "Oh god," he whispered, pulling back slightly. "I – we, oh God Jared the _rules_ ," he stared wide eyed at his Possessor, heart sinking painfully.

Blinking a few times, Jared tried to get his eyes to focus. "Jensen, no, don't worry. No one will know and it's almost time anyway." Sighing, he snuggled closer and licked at Jensen's cheek before brushing his lips across the man's mouth one more time. "C'mon," he murmured, "we didn't do anything wrong, it's right. It felt right." He dropped his head back to Jensen's shoulder feeling the tension in the older man's body.

"It is right," Jensen murmured, stroking Jared's back slowly. He didn't tell Jared how he couldn't lie, the man already knew this. Jensen would just have to figure out how to make it sound convincing, how to make the doctor believe. Sighing softly, Jensen brushed his lips to Jared's temple. "It's gonna be okay," he whispered, mostly for himself.

 _It should be alright_. Jared's eyelids were heavy, emotion and pleasure draining him. _It should be alright_. "M'tired," he murmured against Jensen's cheek. Somehow, this all had to work out tomorrow. The last night of their trial. So many things could start tomorrow.

"Sleep," Jensen pulled him close and held him there as his eyes closed. Jensen was pretty sure he wasn't going to get much sleep but it was comforting to have Jared pressed up against him. "Love you," he whispered, hand stroking down Jared's back slowly, feeling how the man's breath was already evening out.


	7. Chapter 7

It was odd to put the white linens on once more. Jensen hadn't touched them since his first week of being here and he felt like that was a whole different world. It _was_ a different world. Jensen was hardly that Companion who'd come out of the Clean Home, unaware of what waited for him. Now he stood in front of the mirror, looking at his crisp white clothing, perfectly combed hair, freshly shaved face. "I can do this," he told his reflection, uncurling his fingers and turning away from the mirror.

Jensen walked slowly out of the room and crossed the hall to Jared's, their, bedroom. "The person on the phone yesterday said the doctor would be here at ten," Jensen said quietly, watching Jared standing in front of his closet and sorting through things. "You don't have to look too nice, dress in that blue shirt with the black pattern that I like," he smiled, slipping into the room.

"It's funny," Jared pulled his shirt off the hanger, "I always thought that this would happen at a clinic, or an office or something." He looked off out the window at the mountains in the distance as he tugged the shirt on. "Funny." It had seemed so far away at first, like the thirty days would never end.

"They do it at the home to ensure the living environment is safe," Jensen said softly, stepping across the room to graze Jared's shoulder. "They'll want to look around, check to ensure I have a room, you know, and that my life isn't in danger and such." He smiled softly and wrapped his arms around Jared's waist once the shirt was pulled on. Jensen laid his head against Jared's back, sighing softly. "This will all be over soon. We should celebrate tonight; have Chad and Stephanie over, maybe Christian and Tom? Whichever friends you'd like. Then tonight we can do anything we want," Jensen grinned, nuzzling Jared's shoulder blade.

"Anything we want," Jared echoed softly. His heart was beating fast and hard, had been all morning and every time he thought about the visit his skin felt cold, a thin layer of sweat covering him. "Let's just see... how we feel." Turning, he stroked his hands down the shirt. "There, I look okay?"

"You look great as always," Jensen grinned up at him, reaching up to caress the side of his jaw. "Don't be nervous, I can do this. I... I can," he nodded resolutely and leaned in to brush their lips together. "I can't wait to spend forever with you," he whispered against Jared's lips, hand smoothing a hand down Jared's chest.

"You know I love you right?" Jared's voice was tense and he pulled Jensen into his arms so he could breathe deeply, nose buried in his companion's hair.

"I love you too," Jensen sighed quietly and tightened his arms around Jared's body. "It's gonna be okay right?" Jensen asked as he pulled back, looking up at Jared with slightly wide eyes.

"Why wouldn't it?" Jared smiled and turned back to the closet to close the door.

"I don't know," Jensen shrugged and waited for Jared before heading out into the hallway. They'd only just made it to the living room when a knock sounded at the door. Jensen had given the security code to the doctor who phoned the day before so he moved swiftly forward, pausing to breathe deeply before pulling the door open. "Hello sir," he said quietly, opening the door to allow the doctor entrance. Jensen didn't recognize the man but that wasn't uncommon, there were many doctors working for Purity.

"Hello, you must be Jensen," the man smiled and nodded at him before looking down the hallway. "And you’re Mr. Padalecki? I'm Dr. Adams," the doctor slid forward, offering his hand to Jared.

Jared shook the Doctor's hand then stepped back and jammed his hands in his pockets. "Please come in and sit down." The man had kind eyes, the kind of smile that made Jared feel like he actually might enjoy his job.

"Actually I'm on a schedule, if I could just take a peek around the apartment first? Then I'll see Jensen privately," the doctor smiled and turned toward Jensen. "Would you like to show me around your home Jensen?"

Walking over to the couch, Jared sank down heavily. It would all be _over_ soon.

"Okay sir," Jensen nodded, shooting Jared a nervous look before beginning the tour. As they walked along Jensen schooled his emotions, knowing that being nervous would only make the doctor suspicious. There was an odd smile on the man's face as they moved along and Jensen couldn't help glancing at him whenever he brought his notepad up to scribble something along the lines.

They concluded their tour at Jensen's bedroom where the doctor walked slowly around the room, pulling open the closet to look inside, inspecting the things on the desk curiously. "Are you enjoying your time here Jensen?" He asked eventually, turning to look at Jensen.

"Yes sir, very much," Jensen smiled, looking up at the doctor. The man could be a lot more intimidating and Jensen was glad that they'd sent someone who at least seemed friendly. "Jared is a wonderful Possessor."

"You care for him a lot then?" Dr. Adams smiled and wrote something on his notepad.

Jensen watched the action before nodding, smile fading. "Yes sir. He's... very kind to me. I am very lucky."

"That's good," the doctor murmured faintly as he continued writing. "Have you been following the rules Jensen?"

A sinking sensation coursed through him but Jensen quickly reassured himself that he wasn't lying, he had been following the rules. Even if he happened to break a couple the night before. He was still _following_ them. "Yes sir."

The doctor looked up, nodded once more and turned to set his notepad down on the desk, pulling a small machine from his pocket. "Okay good, let's go ahead and do your vitals here," he stepped forward and Jensen wasted no time in pulling his shirt off, knowing the drill already. "Have you been taking care of yourself?" Dr. Adams asked as he set about placing the machine on Jensen's chest to measure his heart beat.

"Yes sir. I've been cooking very healthy meals as well as working out in the gym." Jensen nodded, looking up into the doctor's dark brown eyes.

"Good, good," the doctor murmured and tapped at his machine, storing the information. "Okay Jensen, go ahead and take your clothes off for me," he smiled and stored the machine back in his pocket.

Jensen swallowed thickly and nodded, hooking his thumbs under his waist line and pushing down, stepping out of them a moment later.

The doctor, who had turned back to his notepad and lifted it to write something, stopped in his movements as he looked up at Jensen. "Okay. Jensen, I'm going to ask you a couple of questions and I need you to tell me the truth alright?"

There was something about the doctor's tone that made Jensen's heart clench painfully. He turned slightly and bile rose in his throat as he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. Jensen hadn't seen it before but there were marks on his hips, a circle bruise from Jared's lips, and the faint hint of finger shaped bruises. _Oh god_. How did he miss that? How had Jared missed that? Clearly he knew that would have to be obvious. "Y-yes sir..." Jensen stuttered and figured the noise alone had to be a dead giveaway.

"Have you and Mr. Padalecki had a sexual relationship in your time here?" Dr. Adams asked quietly, lifting his notepad, pen waiting. Jensen could only bring himself to nod. "Has he touched you in a sexual manor?" Jensen's heart slammed hard against his chest, tears pricking along his eyes as he slowly nodded. "Jensen, did you and Mr. Padalecki kiss sometime in the last thirty days?" Jensen was fairly sure he was going to be sick to his stomach and he wished that he could pull his clothes on, feeling worse than a failure, worse than anything he'd ever felt. "And did the two of you have intercourse?"

"No!" Jensen's head shot up, shaking furiously from side to side. "It was just... just a blow job. And kissing. And maybe some touching but it all happened last night; we followed all the rules until then. Neither of us meant for it to happen it just..." Jensen had to make the man understand, if he just explained it than he could appeal to the doctor's common sense. "I told him I loved him and he didn't say it back and I was scared and upset but then last night he said it and I just... it just happened. Please... we tried... I didn't mean to fail I really wasn't-"

"Jensen," the doctor cut him off sharply, eyes slightly wide as if he'd never heard a Companion speak in such a matter. Jensen realized with a deeper sinking in his gut that the man _hadn't_ heard a Companion talk that way. "Please put your clothing on and follow me."

Jensen slowly turned, stepping back to pick up his clothing from the floor and slowly step into them. Tears streamed down his cheeks and all he could think was _Jared_. His Possessor was going to be so crushed. Jensen should have lied better, he could have talked his way out of it, the doctor never would have known if he could only have kept his mouth _shut_. And now they would take him away and Jensen didn't know how he could back to living with Jared, even if it was only for a little while. When he was dressed he didn't look up but he saw the doctor out of the corner of his eye walking past to the doorway.

The walk down the hall to the living room felt impossibly long and Jensen wanted to lift his hand to wipe at the tears but he could barely muster the energy to keep his feet in motion. "Jensen, you sit here," the doctor gestured to the far side of the couch.

Risking a glance up he caught sight of Jared on the opposite end of the couch and his heart lurched painfully. Jensen had to force himself not to jump across the room into his arms. "I'm sorry," he whispered, not sure if he meant it more for the doctor or Jared.

Jared raised a hand to cover his mouth and looked away. Obviously, Jensen had told the truth about what had happened between them. There was no other reason that his face would be covered in tears. Pushing up to his feet he reached out a hand to Jensen.

"Mr. Padalecki, if I could have you stay in your seat please," Dr. Adams stepped forward, extending a hand and pressing down on Jensen's shoulder, pushing him down onto the sofa. "We need to discuss some things and there needs to be a respectable distance between you and your Life Companion."

"Respectable?” Jared's brow furrowed and he could feel the muscles in his jaw clenching. His eyes darted between Jensen and the Doctor and then he sat back down on the edge of the sofa.

"I believe you were made aware of the rules upon receiving your Life Companion were you not Mr. Padalecki?" Dr. Adams asked, shifting a chair forward so he could sit opposite the sofa. When Jared nodded he continued, "and in those rules I believe you would have seen the portion with information regarding appropriate physical contact with your Companion during the thirty day trial period. Are you aware of those rules?"

Thrusting his chin forward, Jared rolled his shoulder and shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. "It was nothing, what we did..." Frowning, he looked down at the floor.

"It broke the rules Mr. Padalecki and I'm afraid there is no negotiation on that subject. Not even your Companion's protests," Dr. Adams shot a look towards Jensen and Jensen could feel the deep shame coursing through him. He'd spoken back to the man, lost his wits for a moment. That was only going to add to the negative view the doctor now had of him. Tears were dripping down over his hands as shoulders began to shake. "Now, in accordance with Purity laws, Jensen will be removed from the household for a date to be determined by the council. After which he will be returned to you Mr. Padalecki as your rightful propriety. That is, of course, assuming you would like him returned to you though he is now in a tarnished state."

Jared pressed his palms together for a few moments then threaded his fingers together and closed his eyes. He was sick to his stomach, bile burning its way up his throat. He shook his head slowly back and forth a few times, eyes riveted to his hands. Squeezing his eyes tighter he cleared his throat. "I don't... I don't want him back if you're taking him away for so long." Opening his eyes he watched as his thumbnail dug into the side of his hand so hard that it drew blood.

The words seemed to slow burn through Jensen's mind and his heart skipped a beat, head snapping up to stare at Jared. "What?" He choked on the word, feeling a harsh sob catch in his throat. "Jared... I don't-"

"Jensen," Dr. Adams' interrupted, eyes wide. "You will speak when you're spoken too," he huffed out a disappointed sigh and scribbled something on his notepad. "I can see why your Companion is unsuitable. If you contact the Purity network I'm sure we can make other arrangements for a better alternative." The man pushed up from his chair, crossing over to Jensen. "I will remove the tarnished property now so we can be on our way."

Jensen had no choice but to stand as the doctor took his arm and pulled him up. He was still staring wide eyed with shock at Jared and he tried to dart forward for him, "I can change. I'll be better Jared please... please don't... don't do this..." Jensen couldn't understand what was happening, what he'd done wrong, why Jared was being like this. "You said you loved me..." He pleaded as the doctor tugged him back.

Jared's hand fluttered back up to his face, shaking until it settled against his mouth. He focused on the blood that was rolling lazily down the back of his hand, the slight sting of pain. Keeping his eyes fixed on the table in front of the sofa, Jared felt each of Jensen's words like swipes of a razor. Clearing his throat, he spoke from behind his hand. "I'm sorry, Jensen. I can't wait... so long. Just want to get on with my life." The table was slowly being distorted by the moisture welling in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No, no no this can't be happening," Jensen finally released the sob in his chest and crashed down onto the floor, crawling away from the doctor and grabbing at Jared. "Please Jared, it's not that long... it's not..." he insisted.

"Jensen! Get a hold of yourself," the doctor swiftly stepped forward and easily over powered Jensen, tugging him up to his feet. "I'm sorry Mr. Padalecki, I've never seen a Companion act this way," he sounded shocked as he tugged Jensen across the room.

As though he'd suddenly realized the Doctor was there, Jared started at the sound of his voice and looked up slowly. He couldn't look at Jensen's face, could only hear his voice echoing over and over, begging.

Jensen was still pleading for Jared to stop this madness as the doctor dragged him down the hall. "Hey, calm down," the man insisted as he pulled the door open, obviously switching his tactics to something more soothing to try and calm Jensen. "It'll all be over soon, come along."

It already was over as far as Jensen was concerned. Jared didn't want him anymore, wasn't willing to wait, and Jensen had no idea what was going to happen to him. All those days, getting to know each other, being together, _falling in love_ and it was all for nothing. He stifled another sob as the doctor lead him through the apartment building and outside. "This - it's a joke, it's not real... it's not happening," Jensen muttered on repeat, shaking his head in the hazy shock, letting the doctor guide him to his waiting vehicle.

"I'm just going to give you a little shot to help you relax okay Jensen?" Dr. Adams said quietly as they stopped by his car.

Jensen vaguely registered the prick but it was nothing compared to the shattering of his heart, so tangible he was certain it was really going to stop beating at any moment. Dr. Adams placed him in the backseat and Jensen slumped against the door, peering out the window, praying that Jared would magically appear and explain how it wasn't true, that he didn't mean it. But the car started up and pulled away and the medicine took over, Jensen slipped into black darkness, feeling like the world was crashing in on him.

-=-=-=-

When Jensen woke up his first instinct was to roll over and flop his arm over Jared but doing that only provided cold sheets. Then everything crashed back in on him and a sudden sob tore from his throat. Jared didn't want him. Jared had let him go. "Fuck," he gasped in pain and peeled his eyes open, finding himself in a clean white room so familiar it only added to the ache. He knew this place, knew where he was.

For awhile he laid curled in on himself, willing this all to be some horrible nightmare. Eventually a nurse came in, not offering any sort of greeting outside instructing him to follow her. Jensen did so numbly, walking through the halls with his head dipped down. They entered a set of office rooms and Jensen found himself in front of a long table, twelve people he'd never seen in front of him, all looking sombre and staying silent. The nurse instructed him to take a chair right in front of the table and Jensen kept his gaze down as he did so.

They began speaking to him about the roles of a Companion, about the very things that had been drilled into Jensen's mind from the very beginning of his life. The conversation was one sided, Jensen only nodding when something was asked of him, if he understood what he'd done, if he understood the rules that had been broken. Words like _tarnished_ and _dirty_ rolled down his spine but Jensen had no room in him left to be hurt by them. He kept seeing flashes of Jared's smile, hearing his laugh, his moans, feeling ghost whispers of touch along his skin.

"It is our decree as the Purity counsel to release you from our care Jensen," the man in the middle of the long table said in conclusion, sliding a file forward. "You will be issued legal documents and once the physician's ensure you're healthy enough, you will be sent on your way."

Jensen wanted to ask what that meant, where he was to go, what he was to do, but he held his tongue. It wasn't like before, Companion or not, these were not the type of people you questioned.

The nurse returned and took the folder, leading Jensen out of the room and back through the halls. Alone in his room once more Jensen stared at the file in his hand. Inside was a birth certificate, an ID card, and an official release of contract from Purity. Jensen stared at his birth certificate, bile rising in his throat as he read _Mother: Purity Corporation_ and _Father: Purity Corporation_. They'd given him the last name Ackles and the picture was from before he'd been sent to Jared, and Jensen just managed to make it to the bathroom before he threw up the meagre contents in his stomach.

He was a _thing_ , no mother and father, a made up last name, and a fake set of papers that was meant to give him some purpose. What could he do with them? Who would hire a _slave_ who hadn't even been good enough for his Possessor? Where would he go? Jensen stumbled back to his bed and shoved the papers to the floor, curling under the sheets and letting tears pull him into sleep.

The days passed in a blur that Jensen didn't bother keeping track of. He slept, trailed along after nurses who never said a word, answered the occasional doctor question with a yes or a no. All he dreamed about was Jared and every time he woke the fresh wave of pain felt nearly enough to make him collapse. Jensen had experienced so many things, love and hope, happiness and friendship, he'd felt _wanted_ , like he really belonged somewhere and it had all been for nothing.

They told him he wouldn't be allowed to leave until he ate three meals a day and proved he could survive through this and, though he wasn't keen to get out into the real world where he would literally be nothing, Jensen forced himself to do these things. Staying confined his white sterile room, wearing white sterile clothes, being poked and prodded by doctors was just too much.

A week to the day after he'd been taken from Jared's, they deemed him fit enough for release. Jensen was given a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, a card holder to put his ID in and shoes and socks. Just the bare necessities. They ushered him through the building until he could see daylight spilling in through the front doors.

"One last thing," the man who was guiding him said and Jensen slowly turned to him, slight frown on his face. "Won't be needing this now, you're a free man," the man reached out and took Jensen's wrist.

Jensen watched as a small tool was produced that cut through the bracelet easily. The skin beneath was milky white and he was surprised by how naked he suddenly felt. "Where do I go?" He asked quietly, looking up at the man.

"Not my problem," he shrugged and turned to walk away.

Jensen watched as he tossed the silver bracelet into a small plastic bin. For a moment he thought he might be sick again but he got it under control enough to turn away and face the doors once more. He knew he wasn't in one of the Clean Homes, that were normally hundreds of miles from the cities, but other than that he had no clue where he could be. He had no money, _nothing_. Blowing out a slow breath he forced himself forward, waiting as the doors slid forward before stepping through. Jensen blinked against the sunshine, eyes dropping instinctively down, mind reeling as he slowly walked away from the building.

-=-=-=-

There was a slight chill in the air but Jared didn't care. He'd been pacing outside the Purity building since he'd managed to calm down enough to drive there. Jensen's voice was still reverberating through his mind; Jared's heart aching more with each beat. He almost hoped his heart would stop. There was no sign of Jensen by the end of the first day and Jared retreated to his car slowly as darkness fell knowing that there would be no one else released at night.

Each morning he got up and went to Purity, He parked up the street far enough away that no one would notice his car. He paced. Soon, he knew the street like the back of his hand. He knew there was only one entrance for the building. Days began to meld together for Jared, if he wasn't at Purity he was at home thinking of Jensen, feeling like something was missing from his life; aching. Jared ignored all his calls, from family, from Chad. There was only one person he wanted to give any kind of explanation to and that was Jensen.

And, quite suddenly one morning. Jensen was there. Blinking his tired eyes, Jared wasn't sure if he could believe that he was finally seeing the man after waiting so long. He took a few steps toward him. Tentative. Scared that Jensen would somehow, disappear if he got too close. When Jensen didn't look up, Jared finally forced his voice to work. "Jensen..."

For a moment Jensen thought he was hearing things and he kept walking, but he knew his mind wasn't quite that good at imagining voices so his head lifted and he stopped in his tracks. It was putting it lightly, saying Jensen was shocked to see Jared there. Everything had been upside down and _wrong_ from the moment he'd been pulled away, turned away, and now... here was Jared. "What are you doing here?" He asked quietly, clutching the birth certificate in his hand, one of very few possessions that he now had.

Jensen was thin, pale, and Jared found himself stepping closer and reaching out for him. "Are you okay?"

"Am I?" Jensen blinked at him, mind reeling at the very sight of him. Stepping back he glanced over his shoulder at the building before roughly shaking his head. "Am I _okay_? Really? Of course I'm not." Jensen sucked in a shaky breath and wiped angrily at the tears already streaming down his cheeks. "What are you doing here Jared?" He repeated, trying to ignore the overwhelming urge to launch himself at Jared's body and cling to him.

Jared's hand fell back to his side, his face distorted by grief. "J..Jensen, did they release you?" He rubbed at his face, "I've... I've been waiting out here every day. Every day since he took you." Swallowing around the lump in his throat Jared coughed and stepped closer. "Can I? I need to hold you..." his voice was hardly a whisper.

"Waiting?" Jensen repeated in disbelief, stepping back from Jared once more. "I thought you didn't want to wait. You didn't want to _wait_ for me," the fist around Jensen's heart was clenching painfully and he was tempted to simply step past Jared and run.

Taking a few deep breaths Jared tried to calm himself down so he could actually make sense to Jensen. "Jensen, I did it. Now, you’re free right?" Darting forward he lunged at Jensen's wrist and tugged roughly at his sleeve until he could see the pale band of skin that had once been covered by the band. "You're free now." Fingers curled tightly around the warmth of Jensen's wrist he lifted tear filled eyes to Jensen's. "Come home."

Jensen tugged his wrist free and shook his head, the disbelief and shock settling in with realization. "You... you planned all this? You did all this on purpose?" His stomach churned unpleasantly and he turned his head to the side, blowing out a puff of air.

"I-" Jared stumbled back a step, "I thought, this way. Jensen," he began again, "you're free now. If you love me, it's because you _want_ to love me and not because you have to. How else... how else could it be like that? How could I ever know?" Jared wiped at his damp cheeks. "Please, come home. Let me explain."

Jensen's jaw clenched as he stared at Jared, blinking away angry tears. "I never had to love you. That's not a _slave_ requirement," anger joined the swell of emotions in him and Jensen tapped into it to keep himself standing. "Damnit Jared this was my _life_. It's all I know! Now I'm nothing. I'm _nothing_. Just some fucking piece of paper with a fucking _Corporation_ as my birth parents." Jensen shoved the paper in his hand forward, waving it around slightly as he turned from him. "I'm sorry that could never be enough for you, that you couldn't just _trust_ that I felt that way. I was the one who said I love you first and there was no _requirement_ behind it." Jensen looked around the street, trying to pick a direction to go. He just wanted to curl up somewhere and try to make sense of the last week.

"You're not nothing," Jared murmured. All week he had planned out what he would say, and every time he'd done it things had gone so differently in his mind. Jensen was supposed to just come home, come home to _their_ home. Jensen was supposed to understand. "I didn't-" he hadn't seen it as taking anything away from Jensen. "Maybe I made a mistake... but I... Jensen I just wanted us to be together - can't you see that? Equals, not my slave. You're not nothing," he spat, "you were never nothing."

"I am nothing," Jensen whipped around to face Jared, stepping toward him with narrowed eyes. "You don't get it Jared, you never did. I'm not like you. I'm not like anyone else in this city. What the hell did you think I was gonna do huh? Who's gonna want to hire a person who couldn't make it as a Companion? Did you think they were going to teach me how to survive? And no matter how much you dislike Purity and all it stands for, they're the closet thing I ever had to a real family. Now I'm just a disgrace in their eyes." Jensen slid back and turned away again. "You want me to make a choice, fine, I will. I can't go home with you now. How can I even... how am I supposed to know I'm even worth that? How could it possibly be any better to be a cast out Companion living off your family's income?" Jensen sucked in tears pushing forward again and started walking down the sidewalk, intent on the idea of just getting away.

It took Jared a few seconds to move; Jensen's anger bit into him and he _knew_ he deserved it. There was just no way he could watch Jensen leave again, not like this. He stumbled forward, "Jensen, I love you. You're not some cast off. I want you to be with me. Live your life with me." He tripped and barely managed to keep from falling. "Where else will you go? Come home..." Of all the things he'd thought about, he'd never imagined Jensen not wanting to be with him, walking away.

"That's not my home," Jensen said quietly, halting in his steps but not turning around. "That home was with your Companion Jensen. I'm not him. I don't even know who I am," he shook his head then let out a hollow snort of laughter. "Jensen Ackles apparently."

Half glancing over his shoulder, Jensen stared at Jared with sad eyes. "I love you Jared. I've got to go now." Jensen forced himself forward and held up a hand as he continued walking. "Don't follow me." Jensen felt like his heart was breaking all over again and he _knew_ he had nowhere to go but the hurt curling through him made it impossible to turn around and stumble into Jared's arms like he so desperately wanted too.

"I'll wait for you." Jared called out as Jensen walked away. "However long it takes," he murmured.

-=-=-=-

Short of showing up at the Padalecki's house and begging for a room for the night, Jensen was failing to produce any ideas as to where he could possibly go. He wandered the city for hours in a daze, one step in front of the other, tears always threatening along the edge of his eyes but Jensen didn't think he had any more left in him after the past horrible week.

It was oddly eerie, to be walking along these busy streets, to see the various people out and about. None of them stared at him, that would have been impolite, but he could feel their gazes. His eyes caught silver bracelets and bare wrists and Jensen felt like something stuck right in the middle. He wasn't Pure anymore, didn't belong to them, but he wasn't just another citizen either. In this day and age homeless were few and far between, most had been swept away with the diseases half a century ago and the economy had grown after that. In fact, Jensen was fairly certain he'd get arrested if he tried to sleep on the street.

Which was why he found himself in front of Chad's building, a little surprised he'd even made it here just by walking. It was getting late, people were clearing off the street, and Jensen was running out of non-existent options. Stephanie answered when he finally gave in and pressed the button and less than five minutes later Jensen was walking through the building to their apartment. In his mind he'd reached the decision that he'd simply ask for a place for the night and then tomorrow he'd go out and... do something else. He'd figure that out later. But the minute he saw Stephanie's soft eyes, watched her give him a once over, eyes lingering on his bracelet-less wrist, he broke down and collapsed in the middle of the hallway.

Chad was there in the next instant, scooping him up and carrying him into the apartment. Stephanie was sent to retrieve water and Jensen felt the soft plush of sheets beneath him, vaguely registered Chad speaking to him. It was the, "I'll call Jared," that had him shooting up and grabbing Chad's arm, holding him back.

Jensen watched Chad’s eyes drop then widen upon seeing Jensen’s bare wrist. "Please... don't tell him I'm here... not yet..." Jensen whispered and slowly took his hand back, falling back against the bed. "Hurts too much, just need some time." He hated how everything about the past week had seemed to break him down, reduce him to almost nothing, but Jensen's options were slim to none, he just hoped Chad would at least respect his wishes for the night.

"Yeah, yeah, alright," Chad grumbled and Stephanie returned with a water glass and a sandwich. She sat with him as Chad left the room, helping him sit up and take a few small bites, urging him with gentle and encouraging smiles.

"Do you love Chad?" He asked quietly, fingers curled around the drinking glass, gaze locked on the water sloshing against the side.

"I do," Stephanie answered without hesitation and reached out to brush Jensen's bare wrist. "You're no longer a Companion." It was stating the obvious and, if Jensen had been that type of person, he would have teased her about that.

"Jared didn't want me anymore," Jensen whispered, looking up at her with bright green eyes.

Stephanie snorted a laugh that sounded a fair bit like Chad's and shook her head, "I highly doubt that. Rest up Jensen, we'll talk more about this tomorrow okay? Chad will let you stay here." She smiled and reached out to pat his head.

"How am I supposed to know that it's real?" Jensen asked her as she turned for the door, watching her halt in her steps and look at him curiously. "If I go back there... nothing will be keeping him to me. I won't be bound to him in anyway. He could leave me or send me away at any time. How do I go into that knowing..."

"I think that's what real love is all about," Stephanie said quietly, reaching out once more to run her fingers soothingly down Jensen's jaw. "Even though there are a million ways for things to fall apart you love them anyway. You have to take that risk right? Especially when you have the choice not too." She smiled sadly and glanced at the door. "I should go see if Chad needs anything."

Jensen watched her, blinking a few times. "Stephanie?" He called before she got to the door and Jensen thought she already knew what was coming just by the way her shoulders hunched slightly. "What about you and Chad? You have no choice right? At least that's what Jared thinks."

Turning slightly to look at him, Stephanie shrugged and gave Jensen a sad smile. "Some people aren't as lucky as you Jensen. Some people just have to take what they can get, while they've got it." She offered no more on the subject, turning and walking down the hall.

Jensen's brain hurt too much to spend more time thinking about things right now so he forced himself to finish his sandwich and water before curling under the sheets. It was easier not to try and think about what he might do now, what his future held, but Jensen couldn't escape the pained look on Jared's face as he let himself slip into a fitful sleep.

-=-=-=-

"He asked you not too," Stephanie pointed out, quietly moving around the bedroom to gather laundry. "You could respect his wishes."

Chad snorted and shook his head, "I'm not gonna invite Jared over or anything. I just think - whatever's going on, whatever the fuck happened, Jensen looks like shit and I'm sure Jared's just as bad. I should at least check on him and make sure he hasn't fuckin' slit his wrists or something."

"Jensen's not a Companion anymore, so... something must have happened with the trial," she frowned and dumped the trash into the garbage can. "He said Jared doesn't want him anymore."

Chad's eyebrows lifted high as he lifted his phone. "Yeah, not likely. Call, Jared," he spoke to the device, putting it to his ear and glancing at Stephanie as it rang. "Not that I think he's gonna answer since he hasn't all week."

Jared dove for his phone and slid it open immediately when he saw Chad's image on the outside screen. "Chad," he burst out, "he's gone. I... I... I screwed up. I thought I was doing the right thing - and I fucked it up. He's gone. I don't know where he went and he... he doesn't know _shit_ about being in the city. What if something hap-"

"Christ Jared fucking _breathe_ ," Chad interrupted, looking up at Stephanie who smirked slightly and shook her head. "Jared, I'm gonna tell you something but if you go bat shit insane again I'm gonna hang up and ignore you for life. Deal?" It remained silent on the line and Chad chuckled, stalling just to drive his friend crazy before saying quietly. "Jensen's here."

Relief washed over Jared and he closed his eyes. If there was anywhere at all Jensen would be safe it was with Chad and Stephanie. "O..Okay." Blowing out a breath Jared stumbled back and sat down hard on the sofa. "Is he? I mean, I know he's not okay-" Jared pressed the heel of his palm against his forehead. "I'm _so_ fucking stupid."

"Yeah but I knew that," Chad snorted and rolled on the mattress. "So, you screwed up. And yet I see a Jensen, well not literally cause he might tackle me if he knew I called you, but anyway, he's fuckin' here and you're fuckin' there, so clearly it's not _that_ big of a problem. Wanna tell me what happened? Since you know, you've been such an _awesome_ friend this week and answering my calls and all."

"I... I wasn't sure he loved me because he _loved_ me... and not just because he _had_ to love me. There was this way I found. The Purity website, it's buried somewhere on the site but if... if you break the rules and the Posses - if I didn't want him after that he would be released. Chad, he's free. And now that's he's free he doesn't..." Jared's voice broke and he swore softly. "Now he's free, he doesn't want to be here. He said I took everything away from him."

Chad groaned and buried his head into the pillow. "Jesus Christ you are a fucking idiot." He sighed heavily and rolled over enough to make his words more clear. "Dude, you two like, reek of angst and it annoys me. Can't you just stop this emo crap? You love him right? He loves you. What's the big fuckin' drama?"

"Yes, I love him. I'm not the one who's over there hiding am I?" Jared's words snapped out. He knew it was his fault this had happened, but it wasn't like he hadn't tried to fix it. "Chad, I was outside that fucking center every day. Every day. The entire week and when he came out he was gonna just walk by me and then he, he left. I told him to come home. I _begged_ , Chad." Jared sank back into the sofa.

 _"And what do you think _he_ went through for a week in that place, thinking you didn't want him? Did you honestly expect him to just jump into your arms Jared?" Chad sighed dramatically. "Dude, he's been a fucking slave for twenty two years right? What did you think was gonna happen?"_

Jared was quiet for a few moments, listening to the sound of Chad's breathing. "I obviously didn't think. Chad, I just wanted him - and he doesn't want me. Listen," Jared frowned, pressing his thumb and forefinger into his eyes pushing back the threatening tears. "Can you just tell him I'm sorry? I... I fucked up. Tell him I love him?"

"Jared? No. I'm not fuckin' getting all gay for you two idiots," Chad snorted, and flopped back on his bed. "Look dude, you know where he is, you know the number, I suppose I can be the kick ass friend that I am and let him stay here but you better fuckin' fix this cause I seriously..." he sighed once more and said much more softly, "you're happy with him. I've never seen you like that otherwise. So just... make it better."

"You make it sound so easy..." Jared huffed out a disgusted laugh. "I'm gonna go. Thanks. Take care of him." Jared slid his phone closed and threw it hard into the opposite chair. It made a less than impressive thud and bounced once on the seat then onto the floor. After sitting there for a few minutes, dragging his hands through his hair he let out a frustrated growl and pushed up quickly heading for the door.

-=-=-=-

When Jensen woke in the morning he didn't really know what to do with himself so he simply sat in the middle of the bed and waited until Stephanie opened the door and smiled at him. Jensen learned that Chad was a very _unpleasant_ person in the morning and that, if you didn't want to get yelled at, tiptoeing was the smartest idea. He didn't directly come into contact with what Stephanie called _the beast_ which was probably a good thing because Jensen could only take so much. Stephanie made him breakfast, despite his protest, and for the first time Jensen really allowed himself to think about his situation.

He couldn't live with Stephanie and Chad, that would have been a little too much under even normal circumstances, but he couldn't just go get his own place. Jensen didn't _want_ his own place. He didn't want to live alone or with a roommate or something, he wanted to live with _Jared_. After the day before, and the week before that, Jensen wasn't sure how that was even an option. Jared was waiting for him to choose that life and Jensen didn't and now it was too late.

"Ah, it's idiot number two," Chad appeared shortly after Jensen had finished washing his morning dishes. His hair was still sticking up in all directions and he was only in boxers, Jensen looked away, face flushing with color, and Chad laughed. "Don't get your panties in a twist, I'm not gonna jump you or anything."

"Like you could," Jensen scoffed, eyes widening as he realized what he said.

Chad's head tilted back with a laugh. "See dude, you're gonna make it just fine. Once you get over the fuckin' bashful thing. The sooner you adjust to being free the better."

"Adjust?" Jensen sighed and stared at Chad as he poured himself some coffee. "How do I just make a life? I don't have any special skills outside being a slave. I can read and... pleasure Ja-"

"Whoa there tiger, I don't need details," Chad lifted a hand and leaned back against the counter, bringing the mug up to his lips. "I'm sure you can think of something. Look dude, I like you, you're funny, and you make my buddy Jared happy so that's good. Only now you're both all emo and shit so - you know, make it better."

"We're both-" Jensen's eyes widened as he pushed up from the chair. "You called him? You talked to him? _Chad_?"

"I just wanted to let him know you were fuckin' alive chill," Chad laughed, shaking his head. "You know, he says he loves you and shit so... you know."

"Make it better?" Jensen scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Any suggestion how oh wise and powerful Chad?"

"Gay buttsex?" Chad suggested and grinned, pushing back from the counter. "Whatever it is, just do it. You two should be like, some golden couple or something, and it just breaks my little _heart_ to see you suffering," Chad reached out to ruffle Jensen's hair before heading down the hall. "Leave us alone for awhile yeah?"

That was enough to send Jensen quickly back down the hall to his guest room to hide. It was going to be a long day and he was going to spend a lot of it alone, thinking about Jared and their future, if their future even existed.


	8. Chapter 8

Jared figured he probably looked as bad as he felt. He'd spent two hours at Purity being shuffled from receptionist to manager to program director and a variety of other people whose titles he couldn't even remember. He left Purity, frustrated but on to his next goal.

In all it took almost nine hours from the time he left his house in the morning until he was finally on his way over to Chad's. His body alternated between vibrating at a fever pitch and almost collapsing; Jared had barely slept since Jensen had been taken, and he'd been living off coffee and whatever looked edible in the rare moments he could stomach food. The drive seemed to take longer than it ever had and maybe that was because Jared felt like he had one chance to get out what he needed to say. _One chance._

Once he was parked outside Chad's building, Jared found himself with a heart beat that felt like it would pound its way right threw his skin and that all-too-familiar ache in his chest. A million times he'd walked up the path to Chad's place and it had never felt more surreal.

He rang the buzzer and punched in his personal code waiting for an acknowledgement from upstairs. The delay was longer than usual and Jared's fingers curled hard into his palm. Finally, the door clicked softly and opened. Puffing out the breath he was holding, Jared grabbed the handle and pulled the door open. In just a few minutes he was knocking on Chad's door, hands twisting nervously in front of him.

Stephanie tugged the door open and smiled, holding it open for him. "Come on in. Jensen's down that way." She pointed down the hall to the closed bedroom door.

"Fucking finally," Chad snorted as he walked past, giving Jared a smirk and a nod as he continued past to the kitchen.

It reminded Jared of the first days Jensen was with him. Nerves on edge, he found himself standing, yet again, on the wrong side of the door. Tapping quietly at the door he took a step back.

"Come in," Jensen called from the bed, glad to have a distraction from his absent staring and never ending thoughts.

Jared cracked the door open and peered in. "Can I come in?" His voice was quiet, stretched too thin in the distance between them. Seeing Jensen hurt far more than he'd expected; it felt like every wound was reopened in a flash.

Swallowing thickly, Jensen stared up at Jared, heart automatically shooting into double time. "I... yes. Yes come in," he whispered, sliding toward the edge of the bed and dropping his legs over the mattress but not standing.

Taking a few steps into the room Jared stopped, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets. "You... you lost weight." Cringing inwardly, Jared took a couple of steps closer and pulled a hand free to gesture at the very end of the bed. "Can I sit?" He was wrong. It felt _worse_ than the first time they'd met. Everything in him wanted to grab Jensen and pull him closer, kiss him, tell him how wrong he'd been. And, he couldn't.

"Yeah," Jensen slid over slightly to make room for Jared, self consciously picking at the too loose sweatshirt he'd borrowed from Chad. "You look tired," he said softly, rubbing at the back of his neck. "You haven't been sleeping well either?" That part of him that would always see Jared as his Possessor worried instantly for Jared's health and his hand fluttered out, drawing up short.

Eyes burning, Jared had to look away. "I’ve been sleeping on the couch a little. Not very comfortable." He shrugged. He dragged a hand down his face, " Thanks for letting me come in. Just... there are some things I wanna say and then I'll..." He motioned toward the door, chewing on the side of his bottom lip.

"Don - okay," Jensen nodded, dropping his gaze down to the mattress before reminding himself that it shouldn't be his default mode any longer. "Are you thirsty? Or hungry? I could ask Stephanie-" he fidgeted with his clothing, half pushing off the mattress.

"I'm sorry," Jared blurted out. "I know you think I don't understand but I'm trying. The way I grew up... I saw people like... like Nicole. I may not have known why she acted the way she did but even as a kid I knew she wasn't happy, Jensen."

Jared took a breath and continued. "I didn't want you to look at me like that - like I didn't give you what you wanted - _fuck_ \- " No matter how many times he had run over the words in his mind he could never quite get it right.

"I owe you an apology for not-" Jared cleared his throat and ran his hand across his cheek to get rid of a tear. "I _owe_ you an apology for not respecting that your life was _your_ life. It was just that I couldn't imagine being in your place and being made t..to be with someone. I was selfish, and I wanted you to come to me when you could go anywhere , anywhere you wanted." Looking down at his hands, Jared watched as his fingers dug hard into his thighs.

Jensen sighed and turned his head to the side. "I just wish... that you would have just believed, we... the Companions, they're never forced to love their Possessor's, that was all me," he whispered the words, glancing up at Jared. "I thought you didn't want me, that I wasn't enough." Jensen lifted a hand to brush at the tears on his cheeks, keeping his eyes on the man for a moment before looking away.

"Before I met you, I figured I understood what you did, what being a Companion meant." Jared pressed his lips together and jammed a shaking hand in his pocket. "I got... can I give you something?"

"Okay," Jensen whispered, staring at Jared with mild apprehension.

Pulling a box out of his pocket Jared held it on the bed between them for a few moments. Fingers curled protectively over the box, Jared sniffed. "They - they wouldn't give it to me at first. I -" his voice broke as he cleared his throat, trying to cover his escaping emotion. "I went back to Purity." Dragging the box back toward him Jared rested the box on his thigh and had to try a few times before he was able to open it. "So many people," he whispered and cleared his throat. "I had to talk to so many people to get this and, that didn’t make sense, it was yours." His shoulders curled forward briefly as he fought back a swell of emotion. Holding up a trembling hand for Jensen to give him a few moments, Jared tried to steady his breathing.

When he could speak again he finally managed to get the box open and held it out to Jensen. "It's your bracelet,” he murmured, "well, it was - I had the rings made out of it." Tears were running freely down Jared's face and by now, he was so used to crying he didn't even bother to wipe them away. "Now, when you find someone else to spend your life with- you'll have this and it's like you have that piece of you. To share. You know? How you were a Companion..." Jared let his head fall back and sucked in a long breath. "You can tell him you made someone _so_ happy,” he paused to swallow, “that he gave you-." He put the box on the bed and slid it toward Jensen.

 _Reaching out with a shaking hand Jensen pulled the box up, fingers sliding along the two silver rings there. "S-someone else?" He whispered, lifting his gaze from the rings to Jared. "B-but... I don't..." Jensen sniffed loudly and pulled the rings from the box, setting it to the side and sliding across the mattress to Jared. "I don't need both," he whispered, taking one of the rings and sliding it against Jared's palm. "I don't want anyone else Jared, I never will. It's always going to be you." Jensen stared through watery eyes at Jared, curling his fingers around the ring left in his palm._

 _Closing his fingers tightly over the ring Jared swung around quickly and threw himself forward, arms tightening around Jensen's neck so quickly he almost knocked them both off the bed. "Please," he whispered against Jensen's neck. "Come home." He was trembling as he tried to lift them both to their feet. "Come home now." His heart was aching and he could barely breathe._

 _"Yes," Jensen nodded, letting Jared pull him up until they were standing. "God Jared I'm sorry I should have just gone with you yesterday I was just scared and I'd spent all week thinking you didn't want me and, and I should have just..." he exhaled shakily, hands in an almost constant movement over Jared's shoulders and chest. "I wanted to go with you. I did. I should have. Can you forgive me for being such an idiot about it?"_

 _"Ugh, yes he can, now get the hell out of here," Chad said from the doorway, arms folded across his chest. "C'mon, get a move on, I will have no more of this outrageously girlie love shit in my house so scram."_

 _Laughing through his tears Jared shook his head. "Fuck off, Chad." Reluctantly, he let one arm fall from Jensen's shoulder and slid the other round his back, curling his fingers over his lover's hip. "I'm taking him home." Tugging Jensen toward the door he shoved Chad out of the way, hand lingering on his friend's shoulder long enough to squeeze it hard as their eyes locked for a few moments._

 _"Yeah, yeah, _finally_ I can go back to walking around the house naked," Chad scoffed, trailing the two men down the hall._

"Oh joy," Stephanie said flatly, shooting Jared and Jensen a grin as she stepped out from the kitchen and moved to open the door for them. "Lucky me."

"Ah you love seeing my ass all the time so don't lie," Chad rolled his eyes, grinning at Stephanie who shook her head in return.

Jensen wasn't paying much attention to the friendly banter though it brought a smile to his face. Instead he leaned heavily against Jared's body, arms wrapped securely around his waist as if to reassure himself that this was all happening. He fiddled with the ring in his palm as they headed out the door, remembering just before it closed to thank Chad and Stephanie before he and Jared were left standing alone in the hallway. "How, which finger do I wear this on?" He asked quietly, pulling his arms back enough to hold up the ring.

Jared tried to look serious. "On your right hand. If my Mom doesn't get to _see_ you and I exchange rings she'll never forgive me." In spite of the wide-eyed look on Jensen's face Jared continued. "I figure Meg's gonna want to help us throw a party or something. You know? Show you off as the new _hot_ guy in the family?" His expression softened and he leaned forward to brush his lips across Jensen's. "I know we can't do it officially - but can we do it properly? In front of friends? I know it's stupid-" he scratched at his head nervously.

"It's not stupid," Jensen insisted, slipping the ring onto his right hand and smiling softly up at Jared. "It - it means... we'd be... like we were bound together? But by choice. As equals," he reached up to touch Jared's jaw, leaning forward and nearly jumping off the ground a moment later as a door down the hall slammed shut. "Um, maybe you should just take me home now," he laughed nervously, looking down toward the noise.

Smiling, Jared dragged Jensen down the hall. "There's pretty much nothing I'd rather do."

They didn't talk much on the drive home, likely from the fear that any conversation topic might bring spontaneous tears. Jensen laid back against the seat, face turned to Jared, hand extended across to lie over Jared's. His thumb brushed almost constantly across his ring and the ache in Jensen's heart finally began to soothe, fade away, and a little spark of hope built in him. They had a chance now, a real chance to live a better life without Jared's fears and Jensen's enslavement.

When they arrived home Jensen took Jared's hand and let him lead them through the halls to their apartment, smile growing on his face. "Maybe I'll get a job that involves cooking," Jensen suggested quietly as Jared slipped the key into the lock, stepping forward to wrap his arms around Jared's waist and squeeze softly.

Jared pushed the door open. "Wait.” He stopped in his tracks and Jensen ran into his back. "Does that mean I'll have to do the cooking here? We'll _both_ starve." Finally managing a wider smile he walked inside and closed the door behind Jensen.

"I'd bring food home with me," Jensen pointed out, looking around the apartment as if it could have seriously changed in the week he'd been gone. "Maybe we can open a restaurant together. Your dad can fund us, I'll do the cooking and you can do all the art stuff," he muttered softly, slipped out of his shoes as he headed down the hall to inspect the living room.

"You sound like my mom," Jared murmured. "It's messy in there, I'll clean it up - I was..." He shrugged helplessly by the time he caught up to Jensen and realized just how messy the living room was. "Wasn't all that concerned about cleaning." Resting his hands on his hips he eyed the mess. "I should probably clean this up."

"Don't worry about it," chuckling softly Jensen shook his head and reached out to touch his chest, pulling away at the last moment and tugging at the sweatshirt he wore. "I should wash this, the whole outfit really, to give back to Chad. He was nice to let me borrow it." A small smile lifted his lips as he pulled the material off and flattened a hand down over his ruffled hair.

Smiling nervously Jared shuffled closer. "Who would have thought? Chad, being the good guy in all this." Looking down he reached out his fingers for Jensen's. Feeling another burst of relief when Jensen's hand slipped into his.

"I know, though honestly I think he was trying so hard because he wanted alone time with Stephanie, not that he doesn't do that all the time," Jensen pointed out and pulled Jared down the hall slightly. "I want to get into my own clothing. These smell like-" Jensen shook his head and scrunched up his face. "Well I don't even want to figure out what they-"

Jensen pushed the door to his bedroom open and stopped, eyes widening as he looked around the bookshelves. There was no bed, instead two comfortable chairs with a table between them sat in the middle of the room. Each wall had a mounted bookshelf and most shelves were more than halfway full. "Jared," he whispered, glancing back at the man before walking slowly inside the room, reaching out to graze the first row of books. ”This... it must have cost a fortune. How did you do this?"

"Not like I had much else to do while, well, I had the furniture delivered and Tom spent some time hunting around for the books that I listed. Got your favourites and mine. You can change the room if you want." Jared watched his lover move around the room, smiling slightly - pleased.

"It's perfect," Jensen whispered, eager to check out every title in the room. But he knew he'd have time for that later. "Can I still read in the art room with you?" He asked softly, turning toward Jared and crossing the room, reaching out to take his hand.

"Of course you can, I always liked that." Pulling gently, Jared pulled Jensen across the hallway. "Your clothes are in our closet now." He pushed the bedroom door open and let go of Jensen's hand. His eyes moved over the bed, still unmade. "Never made the bed after you left," he looked down at the floor for a few moments, "smelled like you." His cheeks flushed a little when he turned to face the other man.

Jensen smiled softly and turned to Jared, watching him for a long minute. "Jared..." he whispered and slid forward, cupping either side of Jared's jaw between his palms and pulling him in for a soft brush of lips. A small sigh fell from his mouth before he slanted full over Jared's and stepped into his body, pulling him down to deepen the kiss, tongue sliding forward to graze along his lower lip.

Jared's hands slid around Jensen as though nothing had changed, fingers skidding across the material of his t-shirt and grabbing it as it bunched up. It _finally_ felt like he could breathe. Chasing the tip of his lover's tongue Jared groaned quietly and drew Jensen closer.

Leaning into Jared's body, Jensen's hands threaded up into Jared's hair as a soft moan passed between them. "Jared," he murmured into his lover's lips, stepping back slightly to allow Jared to tug the shirt over his head. ”I want," Jensen swallowed thickly and reached out for Jared's shirt, tugging at it to lift it over Jared's head and toss it to the side, instantly stepping in to rest their bare chests together. A flare of heat coursed through him.

"Want what?" Jared's eyes were heavy-lidded, exhaustion and emotion catching up with him. His body was thrumming with energy - the need to touch Jensen. Lips moving restlessly over Jensen's cheek, his neck, Jared curled his fingers around Jensen's arm and slid them down to the still smooth band of flesh around his wrist. Knees dipping, Jared leaned closer, harder, letting his spine curl him forward against Jensen's body

A small gasp left Jensen's lips and he fumbled forward for Jared's jeans, fingers dancing along the waistline. "You. I want you," he murmured, tightening his arms around Jared's body and dragging him toward the bed.

Jensen's fingers slid up into Jared's hair, tugging him back and exposing his neck. Jensen scraped his teeth along the flesh then dragged his teeth up, sucking Jared's earlobe between his lips and nipping it gently. "Tell me you want me," he whispered into Jared's ear, hand not locked in Jared's hair sliding down his lover's stomach, over his crotch, rolling into the hard line pressing against jeans.

" _Jen_ sen," Jared's fingers slid down to thread through Jensen's. "I want you, _God_ , I want you." His free hand slid down the small of Jensen's back and tucked under the waist band of his pants. The hand on his crotch, pressing against his swelling cock was almost unbearable. Wrenching his hand free from Jensen's he moved to begin pulling at the button on the front of his lover's jeans.

Jensen sucked in a breath and stepped back enough to allow Jared to push his jeans and boxers down, stepping out of them and kicking them to the side. His hands fumbled forward for Jared's jeans, quickly flipping the button free and dragging down the zipper. "How?" He whispered, backing Jared up until his calves touch the back of the bed. "How do you want me?" Jensen dipped in to bring their lips together in another slow, languid kiss, tongues circling and colliding before Jensen pulled back, hand dipping down brush over Jared's hard cock.

Jared had many moments of thinking about that; maybe dreams, maybe even one misguided conversation with Chad. He knew _exactly_ what he wanted. Dragging his fingers down over the downy hair below Jensen's belly button he finally circled them around his lover's swollen cock. "I want," he locked his eyes with Jensen's. "I w..want you to fuck me, want you inside me." Squeezing the swollen shaft gently, he stroked his fist up once and ran his fingernail over the head and across the slit. _Fuck_ , saying it - the words - made his muscles feel weak, drugged.

"I, um, god..." Jensen inhaled shakily and pushed Jared back down onto the bed, sliding him back across the mattress and crawling over him. "Yes, _god_ , I want that," he nodded quickly, smearing opened mouth kisses along every inch of Jared's chest as he moved down.”I don’t, I mean, we were only ever taught to bottom," Jensen glanced up at Jared and smiled slightly. "Don't suppose you have any experience." Jensen's smile grew slightly as he dipped down to suck Jared's nipple into his mouth, dragging his teeth over the sensitive nub.

Arching up off the bed Jared stuttered something incoherent as his fingers slid into Jensen's hair and held on. Rolling his head to the side he let his legs fall apart under Jensen's body. "You, y..ou. Chad." All the muscles in his abs tightened as Jensen's body pressed down hard against his. "I mean, I talked to him," Jensen's tongue was moving ceaselessly over Jared's nipple, spiralling around his nipple, teasing, flicking.

"Let's not say Chad's name anymore during this yeah?" Jensen teased, chuckling softly at the flushed look on Jared's face. He continued his pursuit down Jared's chest, mapping out every inch of his flesh with an open mouth and a glide of his tongue, the occasional scrape of his teeth.

Jensen settled easily between Jared's legs, curling his fingers around the hard line of his flesh and stroking slowly. Dipping down he swiped his tongue along the slit at the top, gathering the small amount of pre-come there and rolling the taste over his tongue. "Do you have um... lube? Something to use?" Jensen blushed as he looked up at Jared, covering the action with a long drag up the underside of Jared's cock.

"Yes," Jared hissed and flung an arm out to point at the night stand. "You have to stretch me..." He moaned softly as his brain provided him with the mental image of Jensen's fingers sliding into him. "Finger me." He blushed, the words seemed somehow hotter, dirtier coming from his own mouth. Rolling his bottom lip under his teeth he twisted his body to the side slightly and rolled his hips up toward Jensen's mouth.

"Jesus..." Jensen paused for a moment, thinking of doing exactly _that_ and his brain kick started into over drive. Fumbling forward Jensen crashed into the bed before managing to pull open the nightstand and grab the bottle of lube there. He crawled back to his place between Jared's legs and eyed the bottle, small smile on his face. "How long have you had this?" Jensen asked quietly, flipping the bottle open and spreading the cool liquid over his fingers.

Swallowing, Jared could feel the blood creeping up onto his cheeks. "Maybe since that time, when..." his voice softened, thickened, "when you ran your fingers down the crack of my ass." A shiver ran down Jared's body and he rubbed his hand slowly on his chest as he stared up at Jensen. "I like it; I like you... in control." He swallowed and leaned up on his elbows squeezing his legs up against Jensen's.

Jensen's lips twitched in a slight smile as he spread out, finding the most comfortable angle to get his hand right where he wanted. "I like being in control," Jensen said quietly, lube free hand curling around the base of Jared's cock and stroking in one slow upward drag while the other curved down low between Jared's balls, spreading the mounds of flesh aside slightly. "Guess we were just meant to be," he murmured, smiling once more before his finger pressed forward along the tight entrance, rubbing in slow circles. Eyes fixing to Jared's face, Jensen nudged the tip of his index finger forward, feeling the muscles expand and contract tight around his finger, clamping so hard pleasure shot straight through his body to his cock and he groaned.

It burned more than Jared expected, more than he'd _read_. Sucking in a sharp breath he reached down. "Just a sec..." Clenching his jaw he shifted slightly, trying to relax, and then smiling as the sensation became more pleasurable. Staring down at Jensen, wide-eyed and panting he nodded slowly and reached out his hand for his lover's.

The concern for Jared's health, as his once Possessor, would always be there and even after the nodded Jensen waited to move his finger forward. He stroked Jared until he was completely hard again, squeezing along the base as his finger continued it's just push forward. This time he didn't stop until he was buried up to the knuckle, finger completely disappearing inside Jared's body. Jensen shifted up enough to stare, tongue slowly gliding along his lips as his cock twitched with interest. His hand continued a slow stroke along Jared's skin as he twisted his finger slightly, feeling the muscles ripple under his touch.

Jared's hand slipped down to the mattress and gripped the quilt. It ached and the burn subsided into a tingling sensation that made Jared writhe slightly. Anticipation started to build in him again, slow and creeping up his spine. Flashing a look up at Jensen, he licked his lips as they twitched into a slight smile. Canting his hips, Jared pushed down onto Jensen's finger, teasing out new sensations. "More," he whispered.

Taking his time stretching the muscle Jensen learned all the ways he could slightly bend his finger, creating room and space, losing himself in the feel of heat pulsing up his hand and arm. Thoroughly distracted by the process he only managed an occasional stroke along Jared's cock but he kept his hand there, holding him firmly the entire time. When he decided Jared seemed one hundred percent comfortable with the finger he slid his hand back, adding a second to the mix, pressing forward, eyes lifting to watch Jared's face once more as two fingers pressed a slow inch by inch forward, expanding Jared further, not stopping until they could go no further.

Dragging his feet up closer to his ass Jared pushed up off the mattress. "Jensen," he moaned out the name. His hand slid over his hip, jerking toward his cock and sliding over Jensen's hand. "S'good, I... I ..." Something jolted inside Jared; Jensen's fingers moved and everything was suddenly, hotter, pleasure and lust flooding his body. Gasping out a moan his body launched forward off the mattress and twisted to the side. "Jensen..." Moving Jensen's hand faster, stroking his aching cock he gazed up. "More, do that... again."

Jensen sought out the bundle of nerves inside Jared, remembering what he had learned about that part of a man and how good it supposedly felt. Pushing forward he watched Jared's body twist and writhe and he stroked the tips of his fingers along the area, spreading them wide in a scissoring action and repeating the press.

Watching Jared like this was the absolute hottest thing he'd seen to date and his hips rolled restlessly down into the mattress, seeking out friction. Twisting his wrist Jensen added a third finger, pressing just the tip inside before shoving the rest of the way, feeling the give slightly easier this time as Jared's body adjusted. "God, you're gorgeous like this," he murmured, allowing Jared to control the quick strokes of their joined hands over his flesh.

"Don't wait," Jared murmured. Lifting his arm quickly he pushed his sweat damp hair back off his forehead. "Enough, we waited." Sucking in a shudder of a breath Jared lifted feverish eyes to Jensen's. He couldn't get anymore words out; there was nothing he could say that they didn't already know. Launching himself forward he strained to curl his fingers around the back of Jensen's neck, "waited long enough," he groaned.

"Okay, okay," Jensen huffed out a breath and pulled his fingers out of Jared's body. "God I,” he heaved in a shaky breath and crawled up Jared's body, dropping heavily onto him and sliding their lips together, kissing him roughly. His hand fumbled out for the bottle of lube, pushing off Jared's body and sitting back between his legs to spread more of the cool liquid across his palm. "You, should you stay like this? On your back? Will that be comfortable?" Jensen asked breathlessly, eyes fluttering as he stroked along his hard flesh, smearing lube along every inch of bare skin.

Jared's eyes narrowed for a few moments, his heart thudding harder and louder. Lifting his leg he rolled over and pushed up on to his hands and knees then leaned back to press his ass against Jensen's lap. "This, like this." Swinging his hips slowly from side to side Jared could feel Jensen's length dragging hot and smooth across his ass.

Swallowing thickly Jensen nodded though Jared couldn't see him, heart skipping a beat as pleasure coursed through him. His fingers curled around Jared's hip bone, steadying the constantly moving body against his, free hand curling loosely around the base of his cock. "You ready?" He whispered, watching Jared's head bob in a faint nod as he lined himself at the stretched muscle. Jensen's shoulders shook slightly as he ran the tip along the curve of Jared's ass, smearing lube against the flesh before pressing into the tight heat. His breath caught somewhere in his throat as he pushed forward, stopping just an inch, barely inside.

Jared let out a string of swear words as the burn returned for a few moments. He curved his spine down and threw his head back, gripping the quilt tightly. "Won't hurt me," he murmured, knowing that Jensen hated thinking he had hurt Jared in any way. "Love this." He _loved_ Jensen. Rocking back slowly, Jared helped ease Jensen's cock deeper. Jared mumbled words that made far more sense in his head than they did once they left his lips. His body was on fire, new sensations awakening as Jensen slid deeper, splitting him apart.

Harsh breaths were falling Jensen's lips as he curled both hands along Jared's hipbones and brought him back, meeting the slide forward, moving as slow as he could though he felt like his control was about to break. When he could finally feel Jared covering every inch of him he nearly collapsed down onto his lover's back, spreading kisses along the skin, hand sliding around his hips to stroke slowly along his cock. "God Jared, you... it feels so good. _Jesus_ I can't even-" Jensen moaned as Jared's muscles clenched around him and for a moment he thought his orgasm might just explode within him but several deep breaths seemed to reduce things back to a light boil and he rolled his hips experimentally against Jared's.

Holding himself up Jared moaned at the feel of Jensen's weight on his back, the heat of his kisses and _God_ , the way Jensen filled him up. They fit, sliding together slowly for the first long stretch of moments. Head lolling forward, hanging heavy, Jared shifted back again and clenched his muscles tight around Jensen's cock. The movement sent a shudder of lust firing up Jared's spine and then shivers ran back down at the gentle moan his movement drew from Jensen. Swearing softly, Jared matched Jensen's rhythm. "Jensen," he murmured.

It was so much better than Jensen could have imagined, a constant pulsing burn shaking his senses. His fingers dug hard into Jared's hips, the other quickening strokes as he gained a steady rhythm with his thrusts. Jared rolling back to meet each thrust drove his arousal forward and Jensen pulled back all the way slamming hard forward and sending Jared rocking forward. " _Jared_ ,” he keened, a bead of sweat tickling along the back of his neck as he repeated the hard, slow thrust forward. Jensen could hear blood rushing in his ears, could feel his heart slamming against his chest, eyes snapping shut with the constant waves of pleasure settling over him.

"Harder," Jared said through gritted teeth. Squirming slightly with pleasure he leaned forward then slammed back hard toward Jensen. "Fuck," he moaned the word. "I love this." His arms were trembling, every part of his body yearning for more, wanting _Jensen_. He could feel sweat dampening the hair at the nape of his neck, the gentle slap of Jensen's balls smacking against him, his lover's hand sliding along his cock in a perfect stroke.

Blowing out a breath, Jared fell forward for a moment as his arms shook uncontrollably. The way he fell sent Jensen's next thrust directly at that _amazing_ spot inside of him that sent shivers of pleasure shooting across his flesh. His vision blurred momentarily and he cried out Jensen's name - thrusting back hard against his lover.

Pulling back Jensen steadied himself before slamming as hard as he could into Jared's body. He could feel the slap against his hipbones, listened to it echo around them above Jared's constant murmurs for _more_. Jensen didn't think he could get enough of his lover. He missed the clenching heat the moment he pulled back and it wasn't enough with each slid forward. "Not gonna last," he moaned in a quick exhale, nearly gasping Jared's name as his lover's muscles clenched around him in response. Jensen forced his hand to quicken along Jared's cock, hips moving in a jerky, rough slam forward.

It was like his orgasm was pulled out of him. Jared could feel his ass clench tight around Jensen's cock - heat flared across his skin when Jensen moaned. When he thrust back once more he shuddered and his hips shot forward, sliding his cock roughly forward into his lover's grip. The feel, his muscles tightening - tensing - around Jensen's cock was so _fucking_ hot Jared cried out and came. His hips snapped forwards again and again as come pulsed out across Jensen's hand. " _God_ , Jens-" his voice caught in his throat as he felt the beginning of his lover's release.

Jensen's body stiffened as his orgasm ripped through him, hips half thrusting forward as he emptied himself into Jared's body. Moaning Jared's name loudly, his fingers tightened for a moment on his lover's hips as his body continued its slow undulating movements. The moment his release ebbed off Jensen collapsed down onto Jared, sending them both crashing down into the mattress. "God," he gasped and pulled back and out, groaning at the feel before he forced Jared to turn to him, crushing their lips together in a hard kiss.

A final moan was muffled by Jensen's lips and Jared rolled as much as he could to deepen the kiss. Sliding his fingers over Jensen's he locked them together, squeezing tightly - his heart fluttering a little when he felt the warm silver of Jensen's ring. "God," he mumbled, tongue darting out to lap at Jensen's lips, sucking and biting.

"I love you," Jensen whispered into Jared's lips, holding him tight against his body, settling back on the mattress. "Jared? Can I stay here with you forever?" Jensen was decidedly tired of the worry that he belonged nowhere and, though he knew the answer already, he wanted to hear Jared say it.

"I'm _never_ letting you go again." Jared shifted closer, _never_ close enough - and slid his arm over Jensen's hip. "I'm yours, forever."

"Forever," Jensen nodded and looped his arms around Jared to hold him, pressing him flush into his chest. "And I'm yours," he whispered, sighing contentedly. "We should sleep, then wake up and do that again. A lot." Jensen grinned even as his eyes dropped closed.

Sighing happily, Jared slid his arm forward to curl his fingers over Jensen's wrist. _Bound_. He smiled.

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/cha/pic/002q581p)


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